super dead!

another freaking day i have today. well i left the house with a kind of a good day. i did not have any problems in my mind aside from yesterdays problem. well that was alright. now this freaking day i thought i was ok. well first our sup was checking something. it was the techs who had rdr. so i got one. he questioned me why did not i dispatch the right part. well in reviewing the records i already an it showsthat i've ran the diags already and it passed. so this freaking sup was embarrassed because he's condemning me that i did not do proper troubleshooting. i was about to accept my fault or mistake but in reviewing it it's not my freaking fault. although i admit that i did not ask for proper approval that's it. he also questioned my dsn usage. i told him that i use dsn which i only pasted the journal id. so two points for me. well what i'm saying is i'm getting pissed and tired with this freaking team. i really hope he's dead. well i'm doing my job. iknow you know. i'm not just playing around. i'm only playing if i already reached my quota. my complaint here is that why am i the only one who's been caught all the time. obviouslkly others are also playing . i really hated things like that i'm also get caught knowing others are also playing. they're so unfair. sometimes i just think to melt down these things. i don't know if i should be moving on and make things better as it was.


i'm so tired of hanging around with this team. i always think that i'm just using people around here. how i wish i could get around with them. anyways it's me, always me. who cares about me but no oe. if only i could do something for myself. to change everything in me. i'm trying but it seems so hard.

i don't know what should i be happy about. i'm not reallycomfortable everyday. i don't know what's the cause of this. before when i was still studying, yeah i feel this way but not too much. if only there's something that i could do for a change really. i want afriend, a friend that i could count on easily and also a friend that i can come to easily. i am so tired. damn fed up and insane about things going on. i wanted to be happy for the rest of my life. well i guess in the end i will be it just needs an amount of time to reach that goal, and i'm still waiting.

i really wish for something new, exciting and good for me. i wanted to have not too perfect but somehow perfect living. i always tend to be depressed after knowing something exciting or grabbing something esciting but after it, back the old routine.

a minute ago i was watching somebody playing the game i used to play also and so i was asking him about the items that he could get for my character if it's possible for him to give it to me. well he gives excuses and stuff like i can't use it and it's very low tech on our vocabulary. but thie other fellow here asks for something to gibe given to him. with just a snap he's going to get it for him. so what i'm saying is i'm jealous. like he'll do anything for that person. any favor will be granted but if i ask a favor it's kind of not stable. ok i'll never ask favors again i'll just wait for them to give it to me. well i'm mad because of that. well what i can say is bye, bye, bye, bye bye! it only shows that i'm not worth it and i'm not their ideal friend but i'm their ideal fiend., mwahahaha. i'm so sympathetic. well that's me. tha's why people hated me. theey ignore me, they abhor me, they don't like me, they don't care about me. and so be it. i can live on my own anyways. as long as i have my family with me that's enough i guess. yeah you can say i'm sympathetic because it's true. mwahahahaha!

guess what i was confronted by our sup and he said what was i'm doing. i told him the website and yet he's condemning me i'm not doing my job and stuff like i'm only playing. i answer back that i'm not playing. i also said heard enough. he did not talk back but he's gonna get his. i really hope. i'm not doing something wrong. guess what d'ya see this senior guy that was selected as an l2 of the team. you're dead. super dead!!!! i'm telling you! it's so damn unfair, i'm really, really mad like like it's so very unfair like i'm the only one seen here doing nothing. others are just viewing, downloading pornos and playing games, as far as i know he knows.
putang ina talaga wala ba akong ginagawa talaga. as in wala ba? putang ina nanginginig ako sa galit. hindi ko talga ma take. naku mamatay ka na punyeta kang sup ka may araw ka rin. napatagalog nakao dito sa blog ko.. oo napahiya talaga ako dun. sobra-sobra. nakikinig na nga lang ako ng napakalakas na song just to relax a bit. putang ina mo ka bern. makarma ka sana talaga ng sobra-sobra. ayaw kong idamay ang pamilya mo pero makakarma ka talaga. sana talaga wala na syang mukhang maipakita sa boss nya sa susunod. mwahahaha. masama na sa masama pero nakakainsulto na sya magsalita. ginagawa ko naman ang job ko. everyone here just blames me. my god i'm super duper pissed off. itong ceasar na ito. oras mo lang ngayon pero sinasabi ko sayo magtatake calls ka rin putang in mo ka. magulang ka nga talaga. puta ka! ngayon naisip ko na wag nang magbukas ng kahit anong programs at websites except for ie nad tools na ginagamit dito. putang ina talaga putang ina.am i being punished or something. kanina pa ako di mapakali talaga. sabi ko na nga ba. nagstart lang naman yun dahil sa endorsement or voicemail ko na binigay ni puta ceasar na nakalimutan kong tawagan .

i'm being punished really kasi naman noh now i'm not talking at all. as in mouth is shut. not telling anybody what i feel.i've decided not to eat at the pantry. i'll eat at 11th floor so i'll be alone or what so ever shit. i'm avoiding shits na. i've remeber before i was not talking to anybody in the freaking team. ok fine. i'll do that again. yeah i think that would be helpful for me. before i kept thinking about being a manager but this shit happeneds. i'm bingo. god can't help myself. i mean by god it's an expression. ok i've learned something from myself. ok fine whatever.

ok i'm gonna take my lunch in 8 minutes. so i'm gonna talk to myself again and reflecting on stuff shits. putang ina talaga as in puta. leche punyeta, ulol gago.

well while i was having my lunch there were several things happened to me badly. well a motorcycle passed through me so fast that could hit me almost. a person went to me so aggressively just to get my smoke to lit his cigar. damn. i'm so damn embarrassed so much this day. naiisip ko na nga kung ano ba ang ginawa ko ng sobra-sobra na sobrang sama. at kung ano ba ang malas sa aking katawan at puro kamalasan ang inaabot ko. oo nga paranoid ako. sobrang paranoid puta hit.

well i guess this would be my last day here at work. i'll be terminated because of my logs which i thought was right. meaning i've only used one journal id on different cases. well i just need to pray to god for me to stay here in this job longer.

o please lord help me.