pathetic
friday, todays friday. last night i was emoting about the person that is very special to me. well i'm just a little paranoid about stuff. now so sad that my seatmate and that person have something in common. they both like music, some stuff like material things and they can talk about stuff that are pretty common to them. unlike me i'm a loser. don't know much about things. i keep on having a coversation that is about someone that i hate, annoying and frustrating. well i pity myself for that because i'm a loser and i feel like i'm worthless. a while ago he came in the room and invited me to have a smoke and for him to to eat his breakfast. ok so we had some conversation on what he did last night, about his conversation with our tl. so he's very happy. while we were talking about stuff, i tried to tell him indirectly that i wanted to go to his place but of course he really does not know what i'm intending to say. well i don't know if he knows it but i'm not expecting anything about that. hopefully he would realize that. my god, what's happening to me? i don't know how i'll get over this stupid feeling. that's my problem once i met someone, especially a friend, that i'm willing to hang out with, i intend to always go after that person. o well i'm not really sure about myself. i wanted to get this feeling away. if only i could turn back time where i stated my life as a nothing. *ehem* loser!
please help me get this feelings away. if only i could have an amnesia right now, what a relief that is. o common i wanted to be simple again. why do i have to experience stuff like this. is this really my destiny? somebody kill me please!
life is so sad, my life is so sad. i'm so pissed, frustrated, exhausted, tired and fed up. ok so here i am so pathetic and i really wanted to cry just to release my fear, sadness and weary. if only they could understand me. if only they know what its like to be me. maybe they would be with me, to comfort and to be loved. i always wished to die or if not to have an amnesia or get crazy. ok just right now, they are talking with each other and not minding me. but but suddenly they've talked to me and asked me how much i bought my mouse. ok so we had a less than a minute talk and done.
just right now they both are whispering at each other about stuff and they don't care about me. they don't let me join them. o well that's life. in that gesture i see that they don't really like to talk to me coz i talk senselessly and worthlessly. the real truth is that i'm really isolated in this class. garsh! my life really sucks. what a wonderful life.
as much as i would like to avoid them, there's something in me that calls me to get along with them. is it because that's the real me? or because i'm pretending to be someone else or something else? i know they have their own life. o common give me some sign. i don't wanna be a loser all my life.
ito nagpapa-awa effect ako...nakakainis kasi sobrang napipikon ako sa sarili ko. i just wanna be extraordinary is that a lot to ask? Garsh! i'm so fed up with my routinary shit bitch life. life's a bitch. is there a cure for this? if only i have the strength to kill myself, or to commit suicide, i would have been dead since then. this life really sucks. i'm not blaming GOD or anyone, but it's just that it's me. this is me. and i really abhor of what i have become. ok common laugh, have some fun while i'm being emotional here., gees.
i really wish that time would go back when i was born. so that i could change what i have become now. if only i was more intelligent and smarter then life would be better living for me. but well i'm a loser! loser! loser!
my life is so sad and truly pathetic. no one would understand and would care to understand. duh as in T-H-E, duh. can you tell me how will i survive? can somebody just freaking tell me. please. it's so unbelievable i'm so worthless and pathetic. i thought i was strong. but it comes out that i'm ultimately weak and stupid.
it's 10:51 am on my system clock. an hour to lunch. i wonder how will i survive it. i wonder if he would mind coming with me to buy food. because everytime he needs to buy something down stairs i always come with him. i don't know if he will attempt to come with me or if he will acompany me down stairs just like i do when he needs to buy food downstairs. i know all of us are different, well ado have our own personalities. but i know that all people have considerations or kindness. i'll observe that. if not, well that's what you call being a loser, and that's me.
i wanna break free with this feelings because i don't like the feeling.
my seat mate cheecked hiswork with our tl then i told our tl to check mine also, but she checked my seatmate's seatmate, which is the person i was talking about. ok isolation here i come.
ayaw ko na talaga.
ok whatever happeneds today bahala na si batman. i think i'm headed for a breakdown again. i just wanted to happy everyday. there's something in me that pisses me off. my other half is torturing me. i think i'm gollum. something in me that botheres me. if i could do something for myself that would make me worry free then that would be satisfying. life is good. our own selves are in control of what we are now. no one to blame, and no one to hold you back. if you can't deal with the good life, you'll never achieve it.
buti pa sila nakaka relate sa mga topics na dinediscuss. buti pa nga sila nag-uusap. ako ito tahimik lang nag-mumuk-mok. kasi nabwibwisit ako sa mga nang yayari sa akin. sana nga mamatay na ako mamaya.... sawang-sawa na ako sa sarili ko
guess what after lunch i went and go ahead to have a smke. without waiting for him. so i'm alone and no one to talk with. then suddenly he went inside the smoking area. and asked me what's wrong with me, because i'm seem to be quiet, daw. sabi ko sa kanya wala. why would i tell him what's wrong with me and he won't even understand. he does not even text me or ask how i am. sana nga maging alerto sya sa ginagawa ko o wag syang manhid. matalinong tao nga e. i really like those who are smart. right on this very moment he is listening with the disc i've given him. sige lang. i really hope that everythings good fine and clear. i just wanted to be comfortable with my life. hopefully, someday i would meet someone who would die just to see me. you know what i mean? until next time.... wish me luck with my job here. hopefully everythings fine. thanks for your time man.
please help me get this feelings away. if only i could have an amnesia right now, what a relief that is. o common i wanted to be simple again. why do i have to experience stuff like this. is this really my destiny? somebody kill me please!
life is so sad, my life is so sad. i'm so pissed, frustrated, exhausted, tired and fed up. ok so here i am so pathetic and i really wanted to cry just to release my fear, sadness and weary. if only they could understand me. if only they know what its like to be me. maybe they would be with me, to comfort and to be loved. i always wished to die or if not to have an amnesia or get crazy. ok just right now, they are talking with each other and not minding me. but but suddenly they've talked to me and asked me how much i bought my mouse. ok so we had a less than a minute talk and done.
just right now they both are whispering at each other about stuff and they don't care about me. they don't let me join them. o well that's life. in that gesture i see that they don't really like to talk to me coz i talk senselessly and worthlessly. the real truth is that i'm really isolated in this class. garsh! my life really sucks. what a wonderful life.
as much as i would like to avoid them, there's something in me that calls me to get along with them. is it because that's the real me? or because i'm pretending to be someone else or something else? i know they have their own life. o common give me some sign. i don't wanna be a loser all my life.
ito nagpapa-awa effect ako...nakakainis kasi sobrang napipikon ako sa sarili ko. i just wanna be extraordinary is that a lot to ask? Garsh! i'm so fed up with my routinary shit bitch life. life's a bitch. is there a cure for this? if only i have the strength to kill myself, or to commit suicide, i would have been dead since then. this life really sucks. i'm not blaming GOD or anyone, but it's just that it's me. this is me. and i really abhor of what i have become. ok common laugh, have some fun while i'm being emotional here., gees.
i really wish that time would go back when i was born. so that i could change what i have become now. if only i was more intelligent and smarter then life would be better living for me. but well i'm a loser! loser! loser!
my life is so sad and truly pathetic. no one would understand and would care to understand. duh as in T-H-E, duh. can you tell me how will i survive? can somebody just freaking tell me. please. it's so unbelievable i'm so worthless and pathetic. i thought i was strong. but it comes out that i'm ultimately weak and stupid.
it's 10:51 am on my system clock. an hour to lunch. i wonder how will i survive it. i wonder if he would mind coming with me to buy food. because everytime he needs to buy something down stairs i always come with him. i don't know if he will attempt to come with me or if he will acompany me down stairs just like i do when he needs to buy food downstairs. i know all of us are different, well ado have our own personalities. but i know that all people have considerations or kindness. i'll observe that. if not, well that's what you call being a loser, and that's me.
i wanna break free with this feelings because i don't like the feeling.
my seat mate cheecked hiswork with our tl then i told our tl to check mine also, but she checked my seatmate's seatmate, which is the person i was talking about. ok isolation here i come.
ayaw ko na talaga.
ok whatever happeneds today bahala na si batman. i think i'm headed for a breakdown again. i just wanted to happy everyday. there's something in me that pisses me off. my other half is torturing me. i think i'm gollum. something in me that botheres me. if i could do something for myself that would make me worry free then that would be satisfying. life is good. our own selves are in control of what we are now. no one to blame, and no one to hold you back. if you can't deal with the good life, you'll never achieve it.
buti pa sila nakaka relate sa mga topics na dinediscuss. buti pa nga sila nag-uusap. ako ito tahimik lang nag-mumuk-mok. kasi nabwibwisit ako sa mga nang yayari sa akin. sana nga mamatay na ako mamaya.... sawang-sawa na ako sa sarili ko
guess what after lunch i went and go ahead to have a smke. without waiting for him. so i'm alone and no one to talk with. then suddenly he went inside the smoking area. and asked me what's wrong with me, because i'm seem to be quiet, daw. sabi ko sa kanya wala. why would i tell him what's wrong with me and he won't even understand. he does not even text me or ask how i am. sana nga maging alerto sya sa ginagawa ko o wag syang manhid. matalinong tao nga e. i really like those who are smart. right on this very moment he is listening with the disc i've given him. sige lang. i really hope that everythings good fine and clear. i just wanted to be comfortable with my life. hopefully, someday i would meet someone who would die just to see me. you know what i mean? until next time.... wish me luck with my job here. hopefully everythings fine. thanks for your time man.
posted by ly at 1:02 PM
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