The next damn thing!!!!
Ok, it’s been a while since I write something about the things going on in my life. First of all I wanted to share to you that I got a lot of pimples on my freaking face. Well before I was so proud that my face was clear and stuff, but now, I even look like a monster. Reasons behind this are, I used to stay up late due to work. I got a lot of projects and needed to coordinate to several personalities here, that are not that serious like me. Well they are serious but not the type of seriousness that I possess. I know it is not right to expect someone or somebody to have traits like what I have. It would lead to frustrations and all. It’s just that it’s disappointing and breaks my freaking heart and mind that I could not accomplish something in a timely manner. Secondly, reasons behind the pimple stuff, personal problems. When I say personal, it’s domestic and family and personality and character problems. Well I usually realize the way I acted lately. I just don’t understand why I tend to act that way. Sometimes I feel like I just wanted to end this life so that the only problem that I would face is my destination after life.
Moving on, earlier I was freakingly excited to work with the PRS team because I will be discussing stuff for them to understand my thinking. Why did I say that? Well basically I’m no programmer. I don’t even have the way programmers think. I don’t understand the depth concept of things in programming. We are working on a database, one of my projects, I could not work it all alone because I don’t have the programming skills. For you to know, I am a computer science graduate, but I was not able to use that education after I graudated. I was too eager to work immediately in a call center due to personal reasons. Then after sometime I tried applying to work in a programming position but I only get a message, ”We’ll call you”. Ok so am I suppose to believe that. Basically, they wanted an experience programmer. So I lost my hope in applying to that position. I started to apply as an RTA in WF division. I do believe that I have the skills to analyze things and compute things. So I was absorbed and all, then promoted as a reports analyst. A lot of projects was thrown to me that involves programming. So I thought, am I being haunted? O well I just thought that this will be an experience for me. At least somehow I can apply for a programming position. But I doubt my skills with that because I am sure that I still can’t cope with programming and stuff.
Going back to that main topic, I was a bit pissed off earlier because they are ignoring me. I was discussing something and yet this person treats me like a stupid person. I even told them that I’m no programmer and I really don’t have any idea in programming because I haven’t have any experiences. Ok to tell you the whole story, earlier a friend asked me if he could join us. So with open arms, I agreed and felt happy about it. I thought he’ll be the only person to join us but he even invited another person I hated. So I did not mind, then I started to explain to my team mate about the table in our database but my friend is getting his attention that made me look stupid. Ok so I still did not mind. Then suddenly this team mate was called outside by an agent. Another distraction. I was totally pissed. So when he went out I also went out and made this facial expression that I was pissed then left the room and went ahead to the smoking room to assess and reflect on what I just did. I was able to calm myself and tried to forget about it. Then I went back to the room and found them doing something which I don’t know. Then I smiled and asked for his attention. What he did when I call his attention, he was focused more on what my friend is showing to him. He did acknowledge but did not pay attention. There’s a big difference. So I was very, ultimately, extremely pissed off. I went ahead and got out of the room subtly. I did not come back and just stayed in the Command Center room and just accessed my laptop remotely. I did not want to bring the laptop with me because it would show them that I am pissed. Question is, who wants to be ignored? I hate that feeling. I’ve been ignored since I was brought up in this world and accepted that fact. Then it would still happen to me? O well I was just thinking that I guess I am a walking non sense person. I am still trying my best to be better somehow but I guess it’s just not enough. I believe, that there’s really something wrong in me which I could not identify. In this way it really shows that I’m so stupid. I am trying to understand people but it’s just that they don’t want to understand me. Well I guess I am born to be like this whatever I try to do, it turns out that my destination will be the same.
Well moving on, my friend asked me if I’m ok and if there’s something wrong and all. So I told him that there’s none and in fact I’m good. I just thought of an alibi that I just need to talk to the people in the command center. But actually I’m really pissed off with what just happened. He even told me that I was snooty or suplado when they went to the smoking room and they caught me there. I did not talk to them or acknowledged their presence because I am pissed off. He was able to ask me those questions when I decided to go back to the room to get my mug. So I immediately went back to the CC room coz I’m really pissed off. After a while I decided to buy food and ate my lunch upstairs, then I saw him with my peripheral vision with his things on him. But I did not looked at him because I did not want to talk to him. So I was happy that I could get back to work. I went to the room and was speechless. I was not talking to my team mate and just did what ever I have to do. He asked me some things about the database. I told him to wait. Then he waited for 5 minutes and went outside because I did not prioritize his question/request. So I wrote my answer on the paper then put it on his desk. I know that was rude, but I wanted to let them know my importance in the team. I am doing the reports so I know the detailed information of the reports that I do.
He was actually late earlier without informing me. So I told him that he will report to me. He needs to inform me if he will be late or something. The things that I hate on him is he keeps on going out of the room because his team mates are asking him stuff which is no longer his task for the moment because his reporting to me. I just don’t get it why he’s such a sassafrass, meaning an a-hole. Basically his older than me and yet his work ethics are poor.
My action plan will be the following: on Monday, July 16, 2007 I will enforce him to do his task and provide me the things that he had accomplished to update the timeline. I will also inform him about the house rules. I hope I could implement this on Monday.
O well, this is actually not the whole story, but definitely I’ll prepare myself on what will happen to me once I meet my friend on Monday. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, HELP ME!!!!!
Moving on, earlier I was freakingly excited to work with the PRS team because I will be discussing stuff for them to understand my thinking. Why did I say that? Well basically I’m no programmer. I don’t even have the way programmers think. I don’t understand the depth concept of things in programming. We are working on a database, one of my projects, I could not work it all alone because I don’t have the programming skills. For you to know, I am a computer science graduate, but I was not able to use that education after I graudated. I was too eager to work immediately in a call center due to personal reasons. Then after sometime I tried applying to work in a programming position but I only get a message, ”We’ll call you”. Ok so am I suppose to believe that. Basically, they wanted an experience programmer. So I lost my hope in applying to that position. I started to apply as an RTA in WF division. I do believe that I have the skills to analyze things and compute things. So I was absorbed and all, then promoted as a reports analyst. A lot of projects was thrown to me that involves programming. So I thought, am I being haunted? O well I just thought that this will be an experience for me. At least somehow I can apply for a programming position. But I doubt my skills with that because I am sure that I still can’t cope with programming and stuff.
Going back to that main topic, I was a bit pissed off earlier because they are ignoring me. I was discussing something and yet this person treats me like a stupid person. I even told them that I’m no programmer and I really don’t have any idea in programming because I haven’t have any experiences. Ok to tell you the whole story, earlier a friend asked me if he could join us. So with open arms, I agreed and felt happy about it. I thought he’ll be the only person to join us but he even invited another person I hated. So I did not mind, then I started to explain to my team mate about the table in our database but my friend is getting his attention that made me look stupid. Ok so I still did not mind. Then suddenly this team mate was called outside by an agent. Another distraction. I was totally pissed. So when he went out I also went out and made this facial expression that I was pissed then left the room and went ahead to the smoking room to assess and reflect on what I just did. I was able to calm myself and tried to forget about it. Then I went back to the room and found them doing something which I don’t know. Then I smiled and asked for his attention. What he did when I call his attention, he was focused more on what my friend is showing to him. He did acknowledge but did not pay attention. There’s a big difference. So I was very, ultimately, extremely pissed off. I went ahead and got out of the room subtly. I did not come back and just stayed in the Command Center room and just accessed my laptop remotely. I did not want to bring the laptop with me because it would show them that I am pissed. Question is, who wants to be ignored? I hate that feeling. I’ve been ignored since I was brought up in this world and accepted that fact. Then it would still happen to me? O well I was just thinking that I guess I am a walking non sense person. I am still trying my best to be better somehow but I guess it’s just not enough. I believe, that there’s really something wrong in me which I could not identify. In this way it really shows that I’m so stupid. I am trying to understand people but it’s just that they don’t want to understand me. Well I guess I am born to be like this whatever I try to do, it turns out that my destination will be the same.
Well moving on, my friend asked me if I’m ok and if there’s something wrong and all. So I told him that there’s none and in fact I’m good. I just thought of an alibi that I just need to talk to the people in the command center. But actually I’m really pissed off with what just happened. He even told me that I was snooty or suplado when they went to the smoking room and they caught me there. I did not talk to them or acknowledged their presence because I am pissed off. He was able to ask me those questions when I decided to go back to the room to get my mug. So I immediately went back to the CC room coz I’m really pissed off. After a while I decided to buy food and ate my lunch upstairs, then I saw him with my peripheral vision with his things on him. But I did not looked at him because I did not want to talk to him. So I was happy that I could get back to work. I went to the room and was speechless. I was not talking to my team mate and just did what ever I have to do. He asked me some things about the database. I told him to wait. Then he waited for 5 minutes and went outside because I did not prioritize his question/request. So I wrote my answer on the paper then put it on his desk. I know that was rude, but I wanted to let them know my importance in the team. I am doing the reports so I know the detailed information of the reports that I do.
He was actually late earlier without informing me. So I told him that he will report to me. He needs to inform me if he will be late or something. The things that I hate on him is he keeps on going out of the room because his team mates are asking him stuff which is no longer his task for the moment because his reporting to me. I just don’t get it why he’s such a sassafrass, meaning an a-hole. Basically his older than me and yet his work ethics are poor.
My action plan will be the following: on Monday, July 16, 2007 I will enforce him to do his task and provide me the things that he had accomplished to update the timeline. I will also inform him about the house rules. I hope I could implement this on Monday.
O well, this is actually not the whole story, but definitely I’ll prepare myself on what will happen to me once I meet my friend on Monday. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, HELP ME!!!!!
posted by ly at 2:54 AM
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