another sad, pathetic journey of a loser......
hi there, well it's another day, and i thought someine from the training team would even pull me out just to show him how to use this certain tool. well thankfully we had our meeting with my team and it's more about our GA and so i will definitley come if my mom would allow me. then i was just wondering how come this trainer did not look for me or even email me yet. so after the meeting i have received an email and it came from him saying that his boss asked him to do other stuff and so it will be postponed. just don't fucking tell me that he will pull me out at or on friday, i'm surely going to kill him. but that's ok and fine. anyway, as of now, i don't have the care that i used to have before with WFM. i don't know, but i still care. after all what had happened yesterday, it was such a pain in the ass.
as of the moment i am logged in and and wainting for a call. i would answer calls and do whatever i have to do so that they won't say something about me. or it won't hinder my application as an rta. i don't know whether if i have to proceed with the whole nine yards if ever there is an opening. sad to say, but if i have to, then i have to. i wish i could somehow, survive and also i could somehow get over it so i will be happy and satisfied. well i have forgotten rex, and so far he's not calling me or even texting me and stuff, so i believe he's been busy with this good friends in school and he already forgotten me. well that's ok and i've been always left behind. i have accepted the fact that no one ever had fun together with me. in other words i'm not that kind of person who will be liked or even would enjoy my company. i'm a loser, loner and pathetic shit head, and i have accepted that. o well as long as i have my work that's fucking fine, at least somehow i will survive with my everyday life.
earlier this morning the phone rang while me my mom and my sister are having this conversation, i picked it up and this sassy little child is trying to make childish conversation, the second time it rang i berated that child then banged the phone. my mom told me not to do that and it would damage our phone and not theirs. then my sister began to comment that i will be an old male maid. you know what i mean? anyway, i just hate it when people are being childish in times that you don't gfeel like being joked around.
today, when i came in the office, i did not proceed to the WFM room, i have noticed that the visitor his there and that i feel like i don't even have a face to show on them after what happened yesterday that made me almost cry. well tes, noticed that because i was so quiet and all and she even advised me about what i have been doing with the RTA respnsibilities, the reason also why i just shut my mouth and felt like i wanted to die on that moment to somehow compensate on what are the things i have done to them. o well, life is ever so strange so full of change, thinking that you are doing the best you can and after all you're not exerting anything for it and you are being noticed and turns out to be a failure. so sad but true. everyone knows, that reality bites. then last night a TL approached me and asked f there's an opening for WF, and i asked her where did she find that information, and she said that it was cascaded through email. so i was pretty scared and all because i might be replaced and end up just like jayjay. i'm not being pessimistic, i still think that i wont' be replaced and all it's just that i'm realistic, because both can happen to me, right? o well i am praying to god that hopefully someday i would be accepted and hired as an RTA, full time. so much for this thing i guess i just have to show them the best i ever had. , if i have.
anyway, what else can i say about what has been going on? so far i'm craving for some wellness for my life. i hope i would definitely find myself around the corner so i could live my life to the fullest. i envy my sisters, at least they know what theywant and also they can have what they want. unlike me, i could not make decisions on my own because i'm scared that i may hurt everybody and afraid to take all the risk. (what a loser?)
as of the moment i am logged in and and wainting for a call. i would answer calls and do whatever i have to do so that they won't say something about me. or it won't hinder my application as an rta. i don't know whether if i have to proceed with the whole nine yards if ever there is an opening. sad to say, but if i have to, then i have to. i wish i could somehow, survive and also i could somehow get over it so i will be happy and satisfied. well i have forgotten rex, and so far he's not calling me or even texting me and stuff, so i believe he's been busy with this good friends in school and he already forgotten me. well that's ok and i've been always left behind. i have accepted the fact that no one ever had fun together with me. in other words i'm not that kind of person who will be liked or even would enjoy my company. i'm a loser, loner and pathetic shit head, and i have accepted that. o well as long as i have my work that's fucking fine, at least somehow i will survive with my everyday life.
earlier this morning the phone rang while me my mom and my sister are having this conversation, i picked it up and this sassy little child is trying to make childish conversation, the second time it rang i berated that child then banged the phone. my mom told me not to do that and it would damage our phone and not theirs. then my sister began to comment that i will be an old male maid. you know what i mean? anyway, i just hate it when people are being childish in times that you don't gfeel like being joked around.
today, when i came in the office, i did not proceed to the WFM room, i have noticed that the visitor his there and that i feel like i don't even have a face to show on them after what happened yesterday that made me almost cry. well tes, noticed that because i was so quiet and all and she even advised me about what i have been doing with the RTA respnsibilities, the reason also why i just shut my mouth and felt like i wanted to die on that moment to somehow compensate on what are the things i have done to them. o well, life is ever so strange so full of change, thinking that you are doing the best you can and after all you're not exerting anything for it and you are being noticed and turns out to be a failure. so sad but true. everyone knows, that reality bites. then last night a TL approached me and asked f there's an opening for WF, and i asked her where did she find that information, and she said that it was cascaded through email. so i was pretty scared and all because i might be replaced and end up just like jayjay. i'm not being pessimistic, i still think that i wont' be replaced and all it's just that i'm realistic, because both can happen to me, right? o well i am praying to god that hopefully someday i would be accepted and hired as an RTA, full time. so much for this thing i guess i just have to show them the best i ever had. , if i have.
anyway, what else can i say about what has been going on? so far i'm craving for some wellness for my life. i hope i would definitely find myself around the corner so i could live my life to the fullest. i envy my sisters, at least they know what theywant and also they can have what they want. unlike me, i could not make decisions on my own because i'm scared that i may hurt everybody and afraid to take all the risk. (what a loser?)
posted by ly at 4:02 PM
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