nostalgia gain!?!

I have these thoughts in my head. If it weren’t for this project I would not have met them. I would not have collaborated with them and get used to with their presence. I’m worried that once this project is over, I believe I will be nostalgic again. I really hate it. I hate that feeling. That’s why I’m scared of knowing or mingling with new people. Because once I enjoy it, I would really look for it and find a time to mingle with them, then once something went wrong, I will regret it. I would even feel the way I’m feeling at this moment. How I wish I did not meet them at all.

I just noticed that I keep on experiencing this freaking shit. They said that you don’t have to loose hope and all because there are a lot of people in this planet who I can deal with and don’t have to dive into it much for me not to feel this way. Actually, I’m not leading this way it’s destiny. It just happens all along. Well I guess this is my purpose. Try to help others and give support to them, and I don’t get any. I’m always the one who is hurt. Ok that’s given. But I just can’t take it. There’s something in me that tells me that I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve to be treated like this. But what else can I do. I know I’m stupid and dull and I don’t really learn from things that are happening to me. I just keep on experiencing the same things.

I’m not really sure what will happen on Monday, july 16, 2007. I don’t know if they would even talk to me with what I have acted last Friday. Well I did that because I was ignored and stuff. O well I guess I just have to make a stand with what I did.