FILTER

hey, i'm back....did you miss me? well basically i did something horrible last friday. well JOS my batchmate, tripped on me. he tried to swap my monitor with my seatmate's monitor. i was pissed and so what i did i reported it with my TL. the tl was pissed and asked the trainer if she should pull it out. but the trainer said no. thankfully it did not happen because i'm dead once that happened. and so this JOS shit head, started to say words indirectly. so i don't get affected with that...duh he's not worth my life. in fact, he's just an immature shit head. to the fact that he already has a son and a wife, in short, married. he's so immature and unprofessional. i really suggest that this person needs filter...FILTER because he does not even say words, or filter words, or what to say. he says whatever is in his mind. very offending and degrading. hopefully i just needed to see and witness that he realizes that.

well my friend here is supporting me and i understand. he lectured me with what i did last week but please, don't tell me that i'm wrong or i did something wrong because basically he's the one who did something wrong......(to be continued)

plup 2

guess what that a-hole prick just messed up my day.... we're having a discussion about ie and i was sharing about the new feature of the browser and this person and the other person just bragged that it is not true. as if they know it....well because they did not know about that info because they don't care. i hate them both i hope they eat up all of their shits....well now, i've realized that sharing thoughts and what you know, is not appropriate if you're not asked. or else you'll be humiliated. it's like you're being slapped on the face without a clue in front of all the people and all of them are looking at you and whispering, making facial expressions that's wuite humiliating. i hate it. i don't want to be humiliated because it degrades my being . o well life sucks because of me. specifically my life. anyways i don't know what i can do and what i should think now. i will be something , whatever that something is. i'll be stronger, someday. i don't guarantee it but surely it'll come to me....
i can;t think of anything good about things, aside of having a material that i'm craving for. i'm having fun of thinking some illusions about being promooted and being popular because i'm good or something, but it leads me nowhere and it does not happen. i always think of somebody killing me. i'm always asking that somebody would kill me now. i don't wanna know what will happen to me in the future. so does anyone cares to kill me? i always sound pathetic because i feel worthless. i can't seem to think of something to make me feel alive, and longing to live longer. owell a lot of people are dominating the world but they don't realize about others feelings.

i am thinking about going home later. i wonder what will happen to me. what will i do later and what will be exciting to do. i'm so pissed off with the routines that i do with my life. i'm so fed up. i wonder if some people are exciting to see me come in the office. what i mean is someone that would go to work because they're inspired because of me seeing me in the office... you know what i mean? anyways it leads me nowhere. this damn journal is leading me nowhere, becoming worthless and sense less..... help me.....

i'll study now so i will pass on our exma later. see you around dude

plup

well i'm back...4th day of our training for software and it seems like we're not starting yet. i don't know why, but what i've heard they said that the topic is short and so what i'm thinking is the trainer will start in the middle of the shift. so what i'm doing right now is customizing my my website just to kill time because for now time flies so slow. it's 8:49 and it's less than an hour since the shift started. ok i'm thinking of stuffs that i can do just to kill time, and here i am creating a new journal of the day and the days that had passed and things that i forgot to indicate/mention in my journal...... still does not have a clue on what to say but i don't care about others here, because they don't seem to care to and so i don't care....... whatever! well while i was viewing some music videos on the internet the song did not finished and so i was not able to continue because the internet went down...fu**! i hate it when that happeneds sometimes i think they did that in purpose just toavoid people browsing the internet.....selfish sluts..... ok i'm here sitting, typing thinking what i could say or type in this journal....hmmmmm give me an idea please....is all i can say..... well my seatmate is trying to wonder what i'm doing, because they font size i'm using to type my journal is 1 and so no one can read it except me (of course i can read it while i'm typing the words. ok our trainer just entered the room and i guess we're going to start? he gave some of the trainees a piece of paper i guess that's for coaching, i don't know....ok see you later we're going to start......)

ok so our discussion has just ended and we're back to business....browse the internet...well i decided to just add up some more information here. our trainer provided us some problems in a computer just wat i have said yesterday. we created a trouble shooting step to solve the problem, somewhat like a dsn tree (i know you know that....). so while we're doing nothing they gave us this crap to work on. so a group member is doing a presentation for it using the trainers notebook to create a slideshow. ok so what i'm doing is really inappropriate but thank god it's alright. i'm currently using a laptop because if i'm going to use the freaking desktop, it is very noisy and roudy when typing....sa madaling salita scandalosa.... my seatmate tried looking at my pc and finding out what i was doing coz he's curious. thankfully he did not ask what i'm doing and if i can read what i'm typing because i'm using a very small font size. what does he care..... anyways i like to write or type what had happened to me so at least i can enhance my writing and typing skills and it makes me relaxed and even having a time with myself...i know i'm always having a time with myself, what i mean is more quality time....ba't ka ba nakikialam....any ways, i wanted to search, look and find for my solace. i don't know where i could find it or where i could meet SOLACE but still hoping for it and i do believe it's somewhere.....
well honestly i don't want to elaborate more about a person that i get along with here. i'm not really sure about him and i don't want to experience the same shit that i keep on experiencing. i told myself that from now on in this company all i will think about is myself. no more pain, sorrow and worries. just casual conversation no intense friendship or whatever you may call it..... that person is old enough. kasing edad ng 2nd sister ko. that person is different. anyways you'll hear about that person once i thoroughly know him.
gtg na.... i think my group mates here needs help and i have an instinct that we're almost done with the activity and something will happen.

brain storm

haaaaaaaaaaay naku.... habang tumatagal lalong lumalala ang situation. hindi ko na nga pinapansin ang mga taong epal, well yung isa naman ang nag-open up. well ayun kung anu-ano rin ang mga nasasabi ko na kinakatakutan ko na it could cause my stay here in the office. tapos habang nagkakaroon ng mga activity na kailangan ng brain stormning nakaka-asar lang dahil parehas rin lang sya katulad dun sa mga taong ayaw nya at kinaiinisan nya. poor me. i'm just a victim of inocense...you know what i mean? ok so today natapos na ang discussion namin. about OSs tapos pinagawan kami ng troubleshooting crap for the management to review and use it for their own purposes. USER!!!!!! wala namang incentive or something for doing that. hindi naman sya requirement sa training kasi since we're not doing anything or since we're done with our lesson inabuso na kami....hehehehe..... ano bang magandang mangyari? iniisip ko na nga lang yung computer na balak kong bilhin at sana naman makabili na ako ng pc ko para naman matuwa na ako sa buhay ko. para at least mabawasan na ang worries ko sa buhay...mwahahahahaha. well ito after this mag-exam kami about the OSes that we had tuckled and then we're going home. ayaw ko na. please give a chance to make myself xcited to be satisfied or something. i wanted to become something that will not worry about every situations that i'm witnessing.. sa madaling salita, di ako maaapektohan or wala lang, dedma parang manhid. sawang-sawa na ako sa kanila.

kanian nga pala i've customized my friendster account and uploaded some stuff on my other account. when i checked my friendster account a friend of mine sent me the photos that we had when we were at makati that's in starbuko......syempre inadd ko para madagdagan namn ang photos ko.... what the f***** ginugulo na ako ng mga tao dito gotta go....

good thing

i'm back........well i started my soft skills training last nov 7 and good thing i passed. i was pretty nervous that i will fail that. good hing i passsed. then another week came in and another training had started and everyday we have a quiz. good thing i passed the quizzes but one quiz failed. well i don't know why... i was damn worried about that. buti nalng pumasa. akala ko wala na akong pag-asa....
syempre ang final quiz ko e mataas kaya pumasa ako sa training kuno. ito panibagong training na naman. another bloody problem. hopefully everythings gonna be fine.
buti na lang naka survive ako sa punyetang worries ko about a friend.... a friend that i really treasure because he brought light to my talent and so i made him very special to me. i was very worried na di na kami magkikita at mai-continue kuno ang story na ginagawa nami. well i finally found out na he's not worth it. he does not seem to care. he did not mind to text or message me after a few months to check on how the story went. thank god, i got myself out from making myself too worried about the a hole.... if you're gonna sask me i did not continue the story...para ano pa! di ko na sya kinokontak kasi sobra bna yun. ano sya birthday?! siret! hintay ko na lang na magtxt sya at kamustahin nya yung ginawa kong story and that's the only time that i will message him.
in this situation it should be give and take, not take and take or give and give. it's not fair.

well a while ago i tried to check one of my friend's blog spot and she's using it as he r journal. well grabe so many things had happened to her. i was laughing while i was reading it because she mentioned that she has been a yaya with her friends when they went out and got drunk all day. she mentioned that he tricked her friends. she was the only person that did not get drunk....hehehe. pero buti na lang hindi kasi kung pati sya paano na silang lahat. one more thing she wven managed to go inside the mens room to escort her friend puking.... poor gal. she has to witness every yucky things that her friends are doing...LOL... well there's always a reward for good and bad things...karma kuno.....she should be ready for those stuffs so she would know what to do all the time. i envy her because at least she can manage to get along with her friends and do stuff once in a lifetime. well good luck with that.

my sister bought an acoustic guitar. i was very excited to play that guitar. so what i did is i plaed guitar for almost that whole day. a lot of songs that i was playing before has forgotten and now i'm beggining to remember. as what i have noticed i was able to enhance my skilwith the guitar. good thng that i was able to play difficult chords than before. before, when we did not have a guitar i used to use the computer everyday and that's whole day. so i got scolded by my sister and mom. ok so blah blah blah, yadiyadiyada. when finally my sister bought a guitar. i don't use the computer that much anymore. and so saving nergy and power has been fulfilled as wha they both awere asking from me....are you happy now?.....

speaking of my sister. both of my sistershad a fight last week. they both exchanged bitter, odd, degrading words. which my mom did not or could not handle. yeah, there were words like, unfair, inconsiderate, selfish and stuff. which we could not avoid. well i don't know what they have in mind now because they're both n the same house. they're not talking at each other anymore and stuff. which i did not mind. bahala na sila...ang laki-laki na nila o shall i say they're old enough parang bata pa rin sila mag-away.... yun ang gusto ko ring tanggalin nila sa katawan nila kasi if you want to grow you yourself should adjust for and to others. it's not like others should always adjust to and for you......