mega super bad day
well i arrived home early yesterday after work. i was thinking about things that could possibly go wrong when i got the commendation from this client. well i did not mnind about it much and i just conntinued what i always do, routine, so i woke up at 5pm earlier to get ready for work. then i logged in to my station and it does not have an internet connection. i transferred to the other station that has an internet connection. then i have read my emails. of course i received a bad news about my floor walking crap! well guess what, i'm not going to be a freaking fw for today. well my schedule is monday, every monday from now on. it freaks me out. it made my day bad and i've been a soliloquiy in the smoking chamber. i smoke 4 sticks continously because of that. so i almost cried and i started to hate myself thoroughly. yeah, i understand why i was not going to be a floorwalker for 2 days a week because of my freaking csat. ok fine so i guess i'm not competent enough. what i will do is do my johb accordingly and never, ever talk to anyone around here. i will just get away from this messed up place when 6am strikes. i will return from my domicille. right now i'm listening to the music i have out loud so no one will bother me and so i can hear no one. i'm really pissed off and i don't want to mingle with anyone. this is so pathetic. i hope that someone would kill me now in my station or while i'm headed home and or while i'm headed to work so i don't have anymore problems and shit like this. well i guess i'm being immature here. i'm the only one who's so immature and have to suffer the agonies and pain. i ust can't imagine how fortunate worse poeple when it comes to attitude. i'm not saying that i am a good person or what but i can say that i'm not that bad like them. i will try my best to find a way to die and to kill myself. i reallly can't commit suicide because i'm scared. i am just asking anyone out there to kill me now. please i'm begging you!!!!! i'm down on my knees and hands shout oon tho the heavcens on high that i will die this year. i don't care where my sould go, but at least that will be the only dillmea that i will have. i wanted to apologize to ferdie if i'll act so strange today and if ever i won't be able to wait for him later after the shift. well i don't want to talk to anyone. i will just have to spend my time alone. argh! i hate this shit! i really wanted to freak out and push myself around. i really don't want to understand this horror that is going on in my life. it just pisses me off. i know i can admit what's going on but it really is dragging me down. if only i could just let myself die and burn. does anyone see the thief inside my head? am i really that bad? to deserve all of these. o well i believe ewhat's going on here is what i've ordered. so i should really blame myself. i'm not blaming anyone, especially god. i am only blaming myself, my incompetencies, stupidity, and worthlessness. well as you can see i am a bastard, literally, and everyone hates me. so i should hate myself. they said that to begin or have success in your life you should love yourself but what am i doing? one of the reasons maybe why i'm like this. such a lovely day, isn't it? so lovely that i could just kell them. i only have 6minutes before i log in again. too bad. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! take this pain away and this feelings away from me, please i'm begging you!
well the fwe approached me today and so acknowledge him and when he left my station i mocked hime, and so i decided to search in google what bitter is. then it showed a bitter quote webstir. mwahahahahahaha! it suits me. well anyway, a team mate asked me if i'm alright because i look pale. well i said to him that i'm just fine. so basically it shows that i am not fine at all. well hopefully i would drop dead now so i can be excused to be absent tomorrow. well i have decided to log off from my email so i won't be contacting anyone here in the office because i'm pretty much pissed off to all of them and i don't want to talk to anyone. when i took my break i met kris and so we've talked about his gimmicks and stuff, because i have no choice but to talk to him since we're the only once in the chamber. i appreciate rikk. he is an observant really. he knows if a person is not feeling well by just looking on their face. well i appreciate him asking me if i'm ok. moving on, i won't feel better at all and on monday i won't be doing a floor walk because as hat they said i need to prioritize being an agent or i need to prioritize production. ok fine.
well i just took my lunch and you know what tl toold me? well she got a feedback from the person who braged in my call yesterday. she said that i did not even told her that i will take my break so she should have barged in to another agent for her not to waste her time. fuck her! i told tl that do i have to tell her or even ask permission from her. by the way she's beside me and she saw me asked permission to take my freaking break. so she knows that and she should have the initiative to transfer. my good ness she's a pain int h ass. well basically it adds up to my burdens again and i just hate it. i deeply hated myself more. than earlier because of that. now i see what had possibly went wrong all these days i'm worried about. too bad and too irritating. hopefully she should have not told me that. but what can i do, the pain has just done. i will go home immediately later. i won't have to wait for ferdie anymore. i just need to sleep this feeling i have inside. it's really tearing me apart. i feel like i could just die right now. i'm not at ease and so don't bother telling me to be alright. i am just lisetening t my music just to forget all these craps. aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! is there a pill to take. well i just have to stick it out to the bitte end. freak!
i am so tired and so pissed off. don't you ever ask me something, chinoy, i won't bother replying to you. just leave me alone. i'm not well and i'm half crazy. i'm not in the mood right now so i believe i have to end this crap. see you tomorrow and hopefully everythings fine tomorrow. at least i have rex. that's the only person that makes me feel alive these days so i won't have to loose that person. ciao!
well the fwe approached me today and so acknowledge him and when he left my station i mocked hime, and so i decided to search in google what bitter is. then it showed a bitter quote webstir. mwahahahahahaha! it suits me. well anyway, a team mate asked me if i'm alright because i look pale. well i said to him that i'm just fine. so basically it shows that i am not fine at all. well hopefully i would drop dead now so i can be excused to be absent tomorrow. well i have decided to log off from my email so i won't be contacting anyone here in the office because i'm pretty much pissed off to all of them and i don't want to talk to anyone. when i took my break i met kris and so we've talked about his gimmicks and stuff, because i have no choice but to talk to him since we're the only once in the chamber. i appreciate rikk. he is an observant really. he knows if a person is not feeling well by just looking on their face. well i appreciate him asking me if i'm ok. moving on, i won't feel better at all and on monday i won't be doing a floor walk because as hat they said i need to prioritize being an agent or i need to prioritize production. ok fine.
well i just took my lunch and you know what tl toold me? well she got a feedback from the person who braged in my call yesterday. she said that i did not even told her that i will take my break so she should have barged in to another agent for her not to waste her time. fuck her! i told tl that do i have to tell her or even ask permission from her. by the way she's beside me and she saw me asked permission to take my freaking break. so she knows that and she should have the initiative to transfer. my good ness she's a pain int h ass. well basically it adds up to my burdens again and i just hate it. i deeply hated myself more. than earlier because of that. now i see what had possibly went wrong all these days i'm worried about. too bad and too irritating. hopefully she should have not told me that. but what can i do, the pain has just done. i will go home immediately later. i won't have to wait for ferdie anymore. i just need to sleep this feeling i have inside. it's really tearing me apart. i feel like i could just die right now. i'm not at ease and so don't bother telling me to be alright. i am just lisetening t my music just to forget all these craps. aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! is there a pill to take. well i just have to stick it out to the bitte end. freak!
i am so tired and so pissed off. don't you ever ask me something, chinoy, i won't bother replying to you. just leave me alone. i'm not well and i'm half crazy. i'm not in the mood right now so i believe i have to end this crap. see you tomorrow and hopefully everythings fine tomorrow. at least i have rex. that's the only person that makes me feel alive these days so i won't have to loose that person. ciao!
posted by ly at 2:13 AM
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