yehey?
good morning. well i have a new schedule, it's 5am to 2 pm. well i wonedr what will this schedule bring. last friday, i did not go to work because i met precious at starbucks. she actually invited me then as long as we talked about things i have decided not to go to work. i made excuses to my tl and the humiliating part is, i have to stay at precious' house. it was humiliating because i left there around 7 am and her mom slept at their living room so i wa not able to stay down stairs. when i leave the house, i thought her mom is in deep sleep but eventually she woke up and so i'm pretty embarrassed.. when she woke up i greeted her but she did not even smile and felt like she's pissed off of me because why did i stay there and stuff. so i immediately left their house and began to hate myself because of that stupidity. anyway, at least i did have a great day. we talke dabout myself and i was enlightened a bit with what she said. she told me to face all the struggles in life that i am experiencing. i should be a risk taker and all. well right now as of this moment i am trying to be nonchalant about it. i am trying. later on i am planning to talk to precious, my tl to ask about what had happened last saturday and if they did have a great time. it's not being plastic as what my best friend had told me but it's a gesture of being nonchalant about all this stupid feeling that i hide against them. i really hope everything's gonna be fine. now i'm not going to assume things. i would just let things come, what may. i do believe it's healthy and it's a way to be a risk taker and also to have these plan of actions in life. i should always be happy and show them that i'm not sad or that i have problems and stuff. if fish can appriach me and all, i would do that too, for work. i still can't forget what he did usnig the email. but now i know and now i can adjust and know my boundaries. i have set my mind that there's no chance of making things good and clear. with that fish. it's not my lost, in this life being wise to take risk your reputation is never good. wise in a way that no one gets hurt and no one's humiliated, or even embarrassed.
i don't know what i will do now but i just need to show them that i don't have a problem and that i'm not implying bitter things unto them. so sad that as of now, i did not bring with me my lunch. i have to buy food. too bad. i have budgeted my money and yet i'm out of budget. o well, at least things will be better someday. I was able to go to church last sunday with my mom. i prayed and thanked god for everything. i also prayed about my life and that he ould forgive me with all the sins that i did. anyway, i also prayed about the status of my sister and father in tate. actually it was answered prior to yesterday. but i still thanked him and made me feel alright and meade me breathe more. one more problem is that wilma would report my sister to the authorities but once she did that, i will haunt and hunt her. hopefully everything could be just alright so we can live our lives happily.
anyway, last saturday when i came home i've told mom that i will go to rex's house and so i did. it was so good that i have downloaded mp3s again and talked about his goo experiences with his new found friends. i'm pretty much envious with that guy, at least he can manage to have new happenings in life, exploring new worlds, meeting new people and enlightening his life with happy thoughts and things.
guess what, i got a call and damn it. i processed something which is not possible for oow. i have tried to change the dop but it won't change it even thoug you create a new sr#. hopefully it will not be a kick back or else i'm dead. the sadder part with it is i am being monitored, my goodness, because tl tried to barge on my phone but she could not barge, so it means someone is barging me, darn it.i hope that call was not captured or else i'm awfully dead.anyway i am experiencing some difficulties with my phone and i hate it. good thing that there are 56 avails as what marco had told me.
speaking of marco, he talked tom e a while ago regarding his experience with the team during team building. it was the worst team building ever, he said. basically all they did was watch tv and slept. what he did with his 2 other colleagues, they took a swim rather just to enjoy it. then suddenly all of them or one by one just left the venue. i believe he's pissed off of it. he just put it ina way that there's no problem or he's not pissed off but i can barely feel it that he is. he also mentioned that he paid 200 bucks just to get there in that venue and the happenings sucks. well all i have to do is lie, i even told others that it's a bad thing that i wasnot able to come because of my stupid stomach pain, but basically it's because i hate to go to work last friday and to avoi going to that team building.
just what i have thouht. it willl not be enjoying at all and ti's a waste of money. one more thing is i have to withdraw money to pay for the entrance fee. i thought it will just be a night out. thankfully my best friend changed my mind.
i am also excited for now because my bestfriend will buy me 2 books using her card, but of course i would have to pay that. i will not allow her or even myself not to pay that. i still owe her 500 bucks and until now i haven't paid her. then a new one is coming. darn it. also i am excited because my sister bought 3 dvds and one of it is underworld. evolution. a pretty exciting and much awaited movie.
well it's so good to have this long avails. well i have to keep waiting for calls. the sad part with this one is no nd and pay will suck. anyway at least i have to rest my throat from talking during night shift. i wonder what will happen tomorrow here. well i should not mind, basically it's my off.
guess what after i took my lunch i went upstairs and approached tl. i talked with her about what had happened during the team building. and somehow we were able to establish good conversation and she was able to smile again and i know she thinks that we're ok and i can feel it that she is very happy that i was able to talk with her and be transparent about my floor walking and stats ekek. soooo good. at least i have broken the walls in between for the same time. eventually i was able to approach her because fish is taking a call and so ther's no disturbance and interruptions and spy as i may say.
after my conversation with her i went to the smoing room and met jp and talked with him and all then alevil arrived and so we we're able to talk about stuff back in first aid trainnig. good thing that i was able to talk to her again. by theway jp once told me that ron is already a trainer. wow good for him at least he's already a trainer and a good career growth for him. i am so happy for him. it won't change the way i feel because he's a prick also. mwahahahaha. so eventually i don't have to look for that person and all. everything's so nice. actually that's the birthday gift for him, it's gonna be his birthday this april 5th. how fortunate, isn't it. o well there's always room for me.
good thing that my qg3 is done and i passed. woohoo! sadly, there's 2nd phase for qg3. darn it i thought i could get away from those shits. anyway i still need to improve with my qg3 2nd phase so i can be somehow break free to do stuff that i wanted to do in this company. i hope that i would be a tl someday or a full time floor walker so i can experience the wellness and the wonderful times in not taking calls, mwahahahahaha!
first of all i wanted to thank god! at least he had given me good news for today. he really answers prayers immediately. imagine i just went to church yesterday and he made me feel new today. i wanted to ireterate to you that what i did to tl just now was not a sign of pretendness or being plastic. it's like i wanted to break free from this messed up feelings because things are getting worse and all. i have realized that it won't do me any good. but stiill if there's a team building again i won't be able to come or i'll never come because i have realized that fish is just fooling around with everything and he knows how to play his cards and i have noticed that tactics so now i know where to position myself and what tothink about that prick! as long as i can establish a good relationship with tl, that's fine. if ever this prick is transferred to another team, things will gradually change. well the reason is, i am scared to burst out with anger if that person just suddenly show somw arrogance and stuff towards me and so i won't have to experience problems with that shit head for me not to be able to sleep and breathe properly. i want peace of mind. the reason why i am isolating myself.
tangina! bakit ko naisip yun! kasi kakikita ko lang kay that person and he's wearing a formal attire the same with ferdie. and ijust realized both of them are already promoted and for the 3 of us ako pa lang ang hanggang gayon e agent pa rin. napaka pathetic di ba? shit i hate myself with an evil grin! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu! o well, good luck for me and hopefully, things will be freaking alright and dandy. shit na malagkit bakit ko naisip ang sadyang bagay. baka mamaya ma deject nanaman ako. bwisit ang bilis ng karma. i think god is telling me to do someting about it. i think he's making me realizewe that i should be more aware of things and not just sitting back and relaxing all these years. BWISIT! bwisit talaga ako, mamatay na ako sana. ......... hindi naman ako nalulungkot o nababad trip, parang nanlulumo lang ako sa nangyayari sa akin. well ganun talaga ang buhay. o well better luck next time.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! too bad blogspot was blocked in the office. mother fuckers! those inconsiderate bastards. o well i guess i have to post this at home. haaaaaaaaaaay! this is getting worse. on emore thing, ferdie informed me too that that person is promoted and told him if it's ok to talk to me, so he replied, naglilihi pa yun. it pissed me off. anyway i'm not after that person anyway. i don't care if that person would not talk to me for the rest of their lives. who cares!
so many changes yet there's no change within myself. too bad.
i don't know what i will do now but i just need to show them that i don't have a problem and that i'm not implying bitter things unto them. so sad that as of now, i did not bring with me my lunch. i have to buy food. too bad. i have budgeted my money and yet i'm out of budget. o well, at least things will be better someday. I was able to go to church last sunday with my mom. i prayed and thanked god for everything. i also prayed about my life and that he ould forgive me with all the sins that i did. anyway, i also prayed about the status of my sister and father in tate. actually it was answered prior to yesterday. but i still thanked him and made me feel alright and meade me breathe more. one more problem is that wilma would report my sister to the authorities but once she did that, i will haunt and hunt her. hopefully everything could be just alright so we can live our lives happily.
anyway, last saturday when i came home i've told mom that i will go to rex's house and so i did. it was so good that i have downloaded mp3s again and talked about his goo experiences with his new found friends. i'm pretty much envious with that guy, at least he can manage to have new happenings in life, exploring new worlds, meeting new people and enlightening his life with happy thoughts and things.
guess what, i got a call and damn it. i processed something which is not possible for oow. i have tried to change the dop but it won't change it even thoug you create a new sr#. hopefully it will not be a kick back or else i'm dead. the sadder part with it is i am being monitored, my goodness, because tl tried to barge on my phone but she could not barge, so it means someone is barging me, darn it.i hope that call was not captured or else i'm awfully dead.anyway i am experiencing some difficulties with my phone and i hate it. good thing that there are 56 avails as what marco had told me.
speaking of marco, he talked tom e a while ago regarding his experience with the team during team building. it was the worst team building ever, he said. basically all they did was watch tv and slept. what he did with his 2 other colleagues, they took a swim rather just to enjoy it. then suddenly all of them or one by one just left the venue. i believe he's pissed off of it. he just put it ina way that there's no problem or he's not pissed off but i can barely feel it that he is. he also mentioned that he paid 200 bucks just to get there in that venue and the happenings sucks. well all i have to do is lie, i even told others that it's a bad thing that i wasnot able to come because of my stupid stomach pain, but basically it's because i hate to go to work last friday and to avoi going to that team building.
just what i have thouht. it willl not be enjoying at all and ti's a waste of money. one more thing is i have to withdraw money to pay for the entrance fee. i thought it will just be a night out. thankfully my best friend changed my mind.
i am also excited for now because my bestfriend will buy me 2 books using her card, but of course i would have to pay that. i will not allow her or even myself not to pay that. i still owe her 500 bucks and until now i haven't paid her. then a new one is coming. darn it. also i am excited because my sister bought 3 dvds and one of it is underworld. evolution. a pretty exciting and much awaited movie.
well it's so good to have this long avails. well i have to keep waiting for calls. the sad part with this one is no nd and pay will suck. anyway at least i have to rest my throat from talking during night shift. i wonder what will happen tomorrow here. well i should not mind, basically it's my off.
guess what after i took my lunch i went upstairs and approached tl. i talked with her about what had happened during the team building. and somehow we were able to establish good conversation and she was able to smile again and i know she thinks that we're ok and i can feel it that she is very happy that i was able to talk with her and be transparent about my floor walking and stats ekek. soooo good. at least i have broken the walls in between for the same time. eventually i was able to approach her because fish is taking a call and so ther's no disturbance and interruptions and spy as i may say.
after my conversation with her i went to the smoing room and met jp and talked with him and all then alevil arrived and so we we're able to talk about stuff back in first aid trainnig. good thing that i was able to talk to her again. by theway jp once told me that ron is already a trainer. wow good for him at least he's already a trainer and a good career growth for him. i am so happy for him. it won't change the way i feel because he's a prick also. mwahahahaha. so eventually i don't have to look for that person and all. everything's so nice. actually that's the birthday gift for him, it's gonna be his birthday this april 5th. how fortunate, isn't it. o well there's always room for me.
good thing that my qg3 is done and i passed. woohoo! sadly, there's 2nd phase for qg3. darn it i thought i could get away from those shits. anyway i still need to improve with my qg3 2nd phase so i can be somehow break free to do stuff that i wanted to do in this company. i hope that i would be a tl someday or a full time floor walker so i can experience the wellness and the wonderful times in not taking calls, mwahahahahaha!
first of all i wanted to thank god! at least he had given me good news for today. he really answers prayers immediately. imagine i just went to church yesterday and he made me feel new today. i wanted to ireterate to you that what i did to tl just now was not a sign of pretendness or being plastic. it's like i wanted to break free from this messed up feelings because things are getting worse and all. i have realized that it won't do me any good. but stiill if there's a team building again i won't be able to come or i'll never come because i have realized that fish is just fooling around with everything and he knows how to play his cards and i have noticed that tactics so now i know where to position myself and what tothink about that prick! as long as i can establish a good relationship with tl, that's fine. if ever this prick is transferred to another team, things will gradually change. well the reason is, i am scared to burst out with anger if that person just suddenly show somw arrogance and stuff towards me and so i won't have to experience problems with that shit head for me not to be able to sleep and breathe properly. i want peace of mind. the reason why i am isolating myself.
tangina! bakit ko naisip yun! kasi kakikita ko lang kay that person and he's wearing a formal attire the same with ferdie. and ijust realized both of them are already promoted and for the 3 of us ako pa lang ang hanggang gayon e agent pa rin. napaka pathetic di ba? shit i hate myself with an evil grin! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu! o well, good luck for me and hopefully, things will be freaking alright and dandy. shit na malagkit bakit ko naisip ang sadyang bagay. baka mamaya ma deject nanaman ako. bwisit ang bilis ng karma. i think god is telling me to do someting about it. i think he's making me realizewe that i should be more aware of things and not just sitting back and relaxing all these years. BWISIT! bwisit talaga ako, mamatay na ako sana. ......... hindi naman ako nalulungkot o nababad trip, parang nanlulumo lang ako sa nangyayari sa akin. well ganun talaga ang buhay. o well better luck next time.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! too bad blogspot was blocked in the office. mother fuckers! those inconsiderate bastards. o well i guess i have to post this at home. haaaaaaaaaaay! this is getting worse. on emore thing, ferdie informed me too that that person is promoted and told him if it's ok to talk to me, so he replied, naglilihi pa yun. it pissed me off. anyway i'm not after that person anyway. i don't care if that person would not talk to me for the rest of their lives. who cares!
so many changes yet there's no change within myself. too bad.
posted by ly at 9:53 PM
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