eventually.....
"After what seems like months of dealing with cranky, unfriendly people who aren't at all open to seeing things your way, you've finally arrived at a better way of doing things. You're going to ignore them -- and, better still, you're going to ignore them long-distance. You've got the brochures, you've talked to the travel agents, and you've chosen a location. But do you really want to go alone?"
well i have visited a website again to check my horoscope and it is posted above. well another right thing about me. well i really would like to get away from this stupid feeling. i wanted to be transferred to another team so i woul dfeel fine and comfortable going to work. basically i was not able to message tl regarding what had happened yesterday. i was about to message her by calling the store to have and get a load but it's not allowing me to do that because of some circumstances. so i guess it's better to talk to her in personal about what had happened. as what i have mentioned yesterday i'll jsut make an escape route just to save my ass. i just finished having a smoke in the chamber and i have decided to talk to her but unfortunately she's not around yet. i just checked her station now and still no signs of her yet. i wonder if she'll be absent today. she's here already and i have tot alk to her now. ok i just talked to her, whew! what a relief. she said that she thought i'm disobeying her now. anyway she will talk to me later. garsh what would be the topic? hopefully things will be alright. well i just have to filter the things that i have to say to her or else everything's gonna be chaotic. well let me just to tell you what or how i acted when i talked to her. i am smiling and that i feel like i am ashamed. but definitely not. i'm just pretending. i'm not plastic but it's the only way just to get a way from this crap feelings. i would try to take these off of my system and the try to live happily ever after. well we have to log in early for some reason. they said that we have 6 calls waiting. too bad. anyway i am waiting for a call and until now i haven't received a call. well basically on monday i will do the floorwalking as what she wnated. it all falls down to me. i have decided not to do floor walking but everything gotten worse so so i just ate all those things i have said to ferdie. i'm pretty much nervous about what we're about to talk about, redundant, well i might say something rude and that she might tell me that she is offended with the way i acted lately well it's always my fault, i've never been good to anyone in this world. just like earlier, i hated the way my sister told me that i haven't shaved my beard. what does she care. so i have answered her sarcastically and what i'm telling her is to leave me alone. i'm not even telling her to not to do stuff she's doing. i'm not even stopping her with the routines shes's doing at home. she should not mind about what i want. i know i'm not a good looking person and so i just wanted to experience things my way. if they want respect, well they should earn it. i know she's older than me but i'm and we're old enough to do stuff we want. i'm not a kid anymore just to follow things that they tell me. it's my way or the highway. if they can't handle me then they should tell it to my face and just get out of my life. that's the best thing they gotta do. i'm doing this flaky stuff, like growing beard and stuff is because i'm implying and showing how i feel and what is really my personality. i'm not after to anyone for them to like me or what, i'm doing this because i want to and nothing else.
well i just had this long call again just to backup her darn files. finally i got out of it because i'm pretty tired of talking to her and tired of thinking about any possible resolutions for the issue. let me just think about something else.... i wonder what would be the possible shit that i can do just to end all this pain and sorrow that i am feeling with the team. i really hate the team already. the people in it sucks big time. i'm just pissed off with what's been going on here. i am aware that everything that is happening to me here is because of the actions that i'm doing. i ust hate it. i just wanted to live normal like i used to. right now i am realizing what mom had told me about myself. i really admire her because he can forsee things by just observing how you act and what you're doing at home. so bizaare. anyway, going on and moving on with my life today. i find it pretty cool. although i feel so alone, all the time, i feel so light and somehow these grudge had gone off from me, for today. i still feel the grudge with fish because he really sucks bigtime. for me, one wrong move from someone, it lasts forever. i won't ever forget but i forgive somehow. just like fish, i won't ever trust him. he made a reason for me not to. so sorry if ever i can't force myself to mingle with him. i really don't like what he did during training and so with his minions. now i am worried about what will tl and i will talk about. well of course i would tell her that everythings fine. i'm thinking what will i answer once she asked why i am acting weird all along. like i am not sitting on my original station and it's like i'm avoiding her and stuff. well definitely i will not come to their team building because i feel bad about the team. there's nothing to take it back. it would stay forever i think unless they have showed me a great difference why i should release that hatred and grudge. honestly i just don't know why i always have a bad day here. i don't feel like talking or even mingling with them after all what i did to tl and stuff. i know it's my fault but i just felt so bad when i just kid around and it turns out that i did an offensive action. to her. as far as i'm concern fish did a lot of offending stuff but she never commented on it and it's kinda like that's alright for her. ok sounds unfair so i won't have to mingle with them all the time starting now and forever. ha! don't they ever question me why i am acting so strange well it's because of them. they can say that i have an attitude problem, and i don't care. as what i believe in they are the ones that has an attitude problem and not me.
o well so much to say, i guess i just have to snap out of it. i just have to move on and stuff. i just can't wait til pay day again so i can buy the stuff that i'm wanting. i really would like to buy that shit as a sson as possible so i will be excited and stuff. earlier, terence keep looking after me. i don't know why, but i wanted to say i'm sorry if it's affecting him. i wanted to tell him not to mind me or ever look at me so he won't get affected. i hope he would understand. well people had noticed that i have changed, the way i interact with them. because before i was able to interact with them all the time and yet now, i am so very quiet unlike before. i am quiet but i'm more quiet now so they are pretty shocked with that. i can tell as what they are doing. i'm also human and i can observe things that surrounds me. i wonder what would happen.
anyway just have to wait and see . ciao!
well i have visited a website again to check my horoscope and it is posted above. well another right thing about me. well i really would like to get away from this stupid feeling. i wanted to be transferred to another team so i woul dfeel fine and comfortable going to work. basically i was not able to message tl regarding what had happened yesterday. i was about to message her by calling the store to have and get a load but it's not allowing me to do that because of some circumstances. so i guess it's better to talk to her in personal about what had happened. as what i have mentioned yesterday i'll jsut make an escape route just to save my ass. i just finished having a smoke in the chamber and i have decided to talk to her but unfortunately she's not around yet. i just checked her station now and still no signs of her yet. i wonder if she'll be absent today. she's here already and i have tot alk to her now. ok i just talked to her, whew! what a relief. she said that she thought i'm disobeying her now. anyway she will talk to me later. garsh what would be the topic? hopefully things will be alright. well i just have to filter the things that i have to say to her or else everything's gonna be chaotic. well let me just to tell you what or how i acted when i talked to her. i am smiling and that i feel like i am ashamed. but definitely not. i'm just pretending. i'm not plastic but it's the only way just to get a way from this crap feelings. i would try to take these off of my system and the try to live happily ever after. well we have to log in early for some reason. they said that we have 6 calls waiting. too bad. anyway i am waiting for a call and until now i haven't received a call. well basically on monday i will do the floorwalking as what she wnated. it all falls down to me. i have decided not to do floor walking but everything gotten worse so so i just ate all those things i have said to ferdie. i'm pretty much nervous about what we're about to talk about, redundant, well i might say something rude and that she might tell me that she is offended with the way i acted lately well it's always my fault, i've never been good to anyone in this world. just like earlier, i hated the way my sister told me that i haven't shaved my beard. what does she care. so i have answered her sarcastically and what i'm telling her is to leave me alone. i'm not even telling her to not to do stuff she's doing. i'm not even stopping her with the routines shes's doing at home. she should not mind about what i want. i know i'm not a good looking person and so i just wanted to experience things my way. if they want respect, well they should earn it. i know she's older than me but i'm and we're old enough to do stuff we want. i'm not a kid anymore just to follow things that they tell me. it's my way or the highway. if they can't handle me then they should tell it to my face and just get out of my life. that's the best thing they gotta do. i'm doing this flaky stuff, like growing beard and stuff is because i'm implying and showing how i feel and what is really my personality. i'm not after to anyone for them to like me or what, i'm doing this because i want to and nothing else.
well i just had this long call again just to backup her darn files. finally i got out of it because i'm pretty tired of talking to her and tired of thinking about any possible resolutions for the issue. let me just think about something else.... i wonder what would be the possible shit that i can do just to end all this pain and sorrow that i am feeling with the team. i really hate the team already. the people in it sucks big time. i'm just pissed off with what's been going on here. i am aware that everything that is happening to me here is because of the actions that i'm doing. i ust hate it. i just wanted to live normal like i used to. right now i am realizing what mom had told me about myself. i really admire her because he can forsee things by just observing how you act and what you're doing at home. so bizaare. anyway, going on and moving on with my life today. i find it pretty cool. although i feel so alone, all the time, i feel so light and somehow these grudge had gone off from me, for today. i still feel the grudge with fish because he really sucks bigtime. for me, one wrong move from someone, it lasts forever. i won't ever forget but i forgive somehow. just like fish, i won't ever trust him. he made a reason for me not to. so sorry if ever i can't force myself to mingle with him. i really don't like what he did during training and so with his minions. now i am worried about what will tl and i will talk about. well of course i would tell her that everythings fine. i'm thinking what will i answer once she asked why i am acting weird all along. like i am not sitting on my original station and it's like i'm avoiding her and stuff. well definitely i will not come to their team building because i feel bad about the team. there's nothing to take it back. it would stay forever i think unless they have showed me a great difference why i should release that hatred and grudge. honestly i just don't know why i always have a bad day here. i don't feel like talking or even mingling with them after all what i did to tl and stuff. i know it's my fault but i just felt so bad when i just kid around and it turns out that i did an offensive action. to her. as far as i'm concern fish did a lot of offending stuff but she never commented on it and it's kinda like that's alright for her. ok sounds unfair so i won't have to mingle with them all the time starting now and forever. ha! don't they ever question me why i am acting so strange well it's because of them. they can say that i have an attitude problem, and i don't care. as what i believe in they are the ones that has an attitude problem and not me.
o well so much to say, i guess i just have to snap out of it. i just have to move on and stuff. i just can't wait til pay day again so i can buy the stuff that i'm wanting. i really would like to buy that shit as a sson as possible so i will be excited and stuff. earlier, terence keep looking after me. i don't know why, but i wanted to say i'm sorry if it's affecting him. i wanted to tell him not to mind me or ever look at me so he won't get affected. i hope he would understand. well people had noticed that i have changed, the way i interact with them. because before i was able to interact with them all the time and yet now, i am so very quiet unlike before. i am quiet but i'm more quiet now so they are pretty shocked with that. i can tell as what they are doing. i'm also human and i can observe things that surrounds me. i wonder what would happen.
anyway just have to wait and see . ciao!
posted by ly at 2:26 AM
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