SIRET na talaga!

hi advance hapi new year! well basically i wanted to apologize for leaving so soon yesterday. i know it's kinda hanging to leave my journallike that. anyways today, i've noticed that JOS is not around. he's absent. YEHEY! for crying out loud. FOR SCREAMING OUT LOUD! well basically the reason was that he will go to america and work there. finally, he's out of my sight. one problem is this guy here is still around and i'm kinda pissed seeing him around. he's so darn numb. i really wanted to start all over without having another job, but rather he'll get out of my sight. i would be joyful, i promise, once i got a new team, or shall i say i have a new or i am in a new team. duh! right now i'm feeling like sad once that happened. there's something in me that makes me think twice not to let go. i don't know why. god this is another suffering. i'm hating myself for that. yeah of course he's good, i admire him, he inspires me to change my day to day activity, curriculum or whatever you may call it.please give me a sign that he would really treasure me and that i'll be his bestfriend. cause right now i can say that he's my best buddy, but i ain't feeling it that i'm his bestfriend, or he treasures me. what kind of a feeling is this? i really hate this feeling, too emotional and sentimental.why do i have this kind of feeling? it slowly kills me. it will be appreciated if you kill me now! make it fast and simple. that would be highly appreciated.

i can't be like this my whole life. i need to be relaxed, comfortable and unique just like other people. please give me a chance. that's all i'm asking for. i really would like to go back to where i started and what i am originally. i thought i was strong enough but it made me weaker. please give me a chance to grow.

yesterday i went home early and ferdie was my company headed home. he told ron that we'll go home. he has this facial expression like he's mad at me or has a bad feeling about leaving so soon. well i did not care and i felt bad, honestly speaking. it's really hard to let go people like him. i'm really looking for a friend that would acknowledge me, know my felings, trust me and would always be there for me. that's all i'm asking for. i would say that they're after me because they like my company. you know what i mean?.......

well i'm done with my call just now 1:32 pm and i'm pissed off with the customer i'm having. soooooooooo, stupid. see you tomorrow