what i feel about ron......
ngayong araw na ito nakakainis. la lang napaka still. walang kausap, katabi o magawa. my 2 buddies is spending their day off today and the other one will go to work later. ok somehow i will be somehow happy in the meantime. but today i feel so sad and yest so bad about so much ado about nothng. i can't think of anythign to do and i'm pretty fed up with this kind of life. although my job is fun and i like it because it's very easy. the problem here is that you have to maintain you r aht, and quality assurance rating or else goodbye for you. ok i'm trying my best to make it good somehow, so help me.
well for he past few days, ron and i kept messaging each other through our cellphone. sharing stuff and experiecnces at work. especially our feelings for somebody that we hated here. i was so happy about that because i felt that he cares and somehow treasures me. i like that feeling. but sometimes when i text or message him he does not reply. finally he would reply and say that he's sorry he did not reply, because he fell asleep or he's cooking or whatever. so i felt good when he replies that way. but just today, i messaged him and there's no reply. i'm wondering if he will reply later on. if not then it only shows that he's fed up. darn it. thankfully it's sunday, he'll be back to work and we will see and be together for the last day, because i will be in the morning shift starting on wednesday and he will be in the night shift. too bad and yet so sad.
i hate him now because he always wanted to be acknowledged all the time. he always share all his thoughts and i'm always there to listen, but when i speak, he would change the topic and would never reply and he would reply like it's a slap on my face. for example he would say about certain frustrations on that voldemort and i would listen and would even somehow agree on his statement. when i do the same thing, the way he say things is like i'm stupid and i should not say that and it's really like a slap on my face.....way too bad for me. all i want is for him to understand me and to also acknowledge me and that to make me feel that i am important. well basically i'm yearning for a friend, a buddy that would always be there for me forever not just because we are working at the same company. i hate that. i want a friendship that will last forever until i die. i'm not asking for them to be there for me always but just to let me feel that they're there when i need them and even if i don't need them. it's kinda like they're always there because i will always be there for them.
so sad that i haven't found anyone that is perfect. i know no one's perfect, but what i mean is they care about me. to tell you honestly i'm a kind of person that treasures people. i will always talk to you accompany you everywhere you go and whatever you want to do. it's just that in return you would do the same. as you will notice i kept a lot of things, for our remembrance that when i try to look at it, it would remind me of our friendship and stuff. what i really want to happen is if ever i go to another place they will be there also so the friendship would never end. but i guess i won't be successful at all. i guess this is the purpose which is given to me. to be rejected, ignored, abandoned, left behind and even abhored. well i guess the reason why it is happening is the problem is myself... so sad.... i'm still hoping that somebody out there will make me feel important and i'm referring to a friend. o well it's already 5:09 am and we only got 51 mins until the day in work is over. well wish me luck and hopefully my work and flight to canada will be successful. ciao!
PS
I really missed a lot of stuff in my life and i just don't know how i can retrieve those wonderful things....sigh!
well for he past few days, ron and i kept messaging each other through our cellphone. sharing stuff and experiecnces at work. especially our feelings for somebody that we hated here. i was so happy about that because i felt that he cares and somehow treasures me. i like that feeling. but sometimes when i text or message him he does not reply. finally he would reply and say that he's sorry he did not reply, because he fell asleep or he's cooking or whatever. so i felt good when he replies that way. but just today, i messaged him and there's no reply. i'm wondering if he will reply later on. if not then it only shows that he's fed up. darn it. thankfully it's sunday, he'll be back to work and we will see and be together for the last day, because i will be in the morning shift starting on wednesday and he will be in the night shift. too bad and yet so sad.
i hate him now because he always wanted to be acknowledged all the time. he always share all his thoughts and i'm always there to listen, but when i speak, he would change the topic and would never reply and he would reply like it's a slap on my face. for example he would say about certain frustrations on that voldemort and i would listen and would even somehow agree on his statement. when i do the same thing, the way he say things is like i'm stupid and i should not say that and it's really like a slap on my face.....way too bad for me. all i want is for him to understand me and to also acknowledge me and that to make me feel that i am important. well basically i'm yearning for a friend, a buddy that would always be there for me forever not just because we are working at the same company. i hate that. i want a friendship that will last forever until i die. i'm not asking for them to be there for me always but just to let me feel that they're there when i need them and even if i don't need them. it's kinda like they're always there because i will always be there for them.
so sad that i haven't found anyone that is perfect. i know no one's perfect, but what i mean is they care about me. to tell you honestly i'm a kind of person that treasures people. i will always talk to you accompany you everywhere you go and whatever you want to do. it's just that in return you would do the same. as you will notice i kept a lot of things, for our remembrance that when i try to look at it, it would remind me of our friendship and stuff. what i really want to happen is if ever i go to another place they will be there also so the friendship would never end. but i guess i won't be successful at all. i guess this is the purpose which is given to me. to be rejected, ignored, abandoned, left behind and even abhored. well i guess the reason why it is happening is the problem is myself... so sad.... i'm still hoping that somebody out there will make me feel important and i'm referring to a friend. o well it's already 5:09 am and we only got 51 mins until the day in work is over. well wish me luck and hopefully my work and flight to canada will be successful. ciao!
PS
I really missed a lot of stuff in my life and i just don't know how i can retrieve those wonderful things....sigh!
posted by ly at 5:11 AM
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