Domicile
hi good morning. well basically, i'm on the other station again, because a prick just took my station again. that's alright. anyway i was able to see that person when i arrived at work. basically i think he did not see me because i'm at that persons back. mingling with that person's cellphone. pathetic. anyway, moving on, last night this panther person called me up. i answered the phone. panther really wanted to meet me. i feel so bad because should i be making appointments with him? i'm not really sure and i don't want to loose my integrity and credibility. i know this is a diversed situation. i don't even wnat to talk about it. it will really degrade myself. this is soooo pretty way bad. what the fuck is going on? this is not right after all. well i'm hoping that there will be a change for today. not that kind of change, you know the diversed change...
on the other hand, i've checked my salary yesterday. it pisses me off. i only got 8.5. i wonder why is that? they said that it is because of the taxes and deductions for the month. too bad. i was not able to buy me a pair of shoes. eventually i went there in that shoe shop. i thought it was buy one take one. i thought that it was just 500. basically it's 30% discount and 30% discount is 700 bucks. my goodness, it's not alloted for my budget. my budget was 500. so , **sigh** too sad. this thing happeneds because GOD has or really has a purpose in me. i thank him for that. well there's always another day. or another moment to come for that want.
i just realized that i asked GOD to make that person get away and to sway away from me. now, it is happeining and i'm complaining. i feel so guilty about it. this is not right. anyway, when He do things or does things like these it's always right. there's nothing i can do about it.you know what? i can't barely breathe, sleep, think straight and i'm even confused with the things going on here. if only i could forget all about this stuff. the problem is because i'm always at home and i tend to think about certain situation about that person. it makes me sick, ill and even freak out. it affects my relationship with my family. i seem to carry on the problem onto them. i hate myself for that. i really fucking hate myself. please make it stop, make it go away and make me free and find my solace. **sigh** i just can't find a way and find someone that will make me feel good, happy, important and i feel like i'm not being valued and treasured by people who i value and treasure. to sad, what a tearjerker. i'm tired. i'm freaking so tired and pissed with all these. i wish that icould die just right now. if only i could a finda way to make wverything fine again, then it'll be all good. i wish i did not meet that person. i wish i did not care at all. that person is really influential. i believe in KARMA. that person do believe in KARMA also. so i believe karma is headed towards him, mwahahahahaha! loser!
well tl conducted a meeting, i accidentally glanced on that persons station and i have seen his station and it's already empty. so i felt so bad and felt so hurt, i can barely feel the pain that that person had caused me. then i went ahead and grabbed a smoke and i met that person there. that person greeted me and i just smiled and raised my eyebrows. then went ahead and smoked. i was about to cry but i've managed to control it. thankfully no one noticed my eyes. then my 2 other teamates came in had a chit chat and we laughed and i was able to forget the feeling for just a minute. i went ahead and went back to my station and i unlocked my pc. i started to close my eyes, looked down and covered my eyes with my hand. i was able to relax and meditate to release everything and start all over again. i'm starting to get over that person. and i think i can manage that. i will manage and i shall manage to do that. huh! you prock. i'm not being bitter here. i'm just expressing my anger. that person does not seem to care at all. well that's fine, go and live your life coz i'm going to do the same thing. as long as i have ferdie around, that's ok and i can ;live my life. mwahahahahahaha!
ok while i was writning this, i decided to read the book. then unintentionally, i looked back at me, because of my curiopusity, then i accidentally saw that person. ok i was shocked and trying hard to erase anything that goes in my mind about that person. so i continued reading the book then momentarily that person went by oat our station and said goodbye to tl then turned back, i think hthat person just forgtten to say good bye to me and so that person went back at my station and hand that person's hand, a sign of give me five. so i tapped my hand on that person's hand, then both of us smiled at each other. i felt fine now. i felt a bit fine and yet confused. sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! i hate this feeling. 3 minutes and counting and i'm going to take my lunch. i hope that everythings gonna be fine. **sigh** this is all crap to me. then now cy is being assigned as a floorwalker. ok fine. am i being rejected here? ok i'm yused to it anyway.
i just took my lunch. i went to the smoking room to grab a smoke and ferdie messaged me asking if he has a feedback regarding the call he took yesterday. so far i told him that there's none. i messaged him to mesage that person and sask how that person is. he told me that he just loaded his account now and i'm the first one he messaged me and he will message him now. thanks dude. somehow i lost some pain and torments in my heart. but it's not an assurance and i don't know what to expect. god speed anyway. bahala na si batman. i don't ever wanna loose a friend as what i've been experiencing long before. it's ok but it'll really hurt me so bad and it will lead me to suffering.
i guess i like some suffering, do you think? is it my destiny? o well, that's pretty way too bad. let me just go bck to my DOMICILLE. let me go back to where i started and that i'm aware that this happened and i find a way to avoid it. i guess it's the insticnt. o well, life is so tragic. life's a bitch! being emotional, sensitive and nostalgic and also a tearjerker brings tears to my eyes, mening i tend to cry whenever i feel this shits! i really fucking hate this. can you like prescribe me something to make me change my living and thinking? please, for crying out loud! make me feel that i'm ok alone and all by myself. so that i can go on and move on with my life. i, want, to , be stronger, confident, and wiser. i wish i could train myself andd make myself aware of it. please give me a way and the strength to carry on with my own darn freaking pathetic self and life. come on, i'm summoning you. this is not a joke, this is serious. please lang po! parang awa nyo na. i hope that when i wake up one day or later or tomorrow, i won't feel these pains no more. that i have recovered from these torments. and that iw on't have to think about that person anymore. i should learn to hate that person so i can move on with my own freaking self. as what i was long before. arggggggggggggggh! uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh!
naiinis na talaga ako. ayaw ko na. sawang-sawa na ako at gusto ko nang makawala dito sa pagiging attach sa mga taong di naman ako pinapahalagahan at tine-tresasure (di ko alam ang tagalog nun, in fact i've asked several people here.) sana makahanap at makatagpo ako ng taong magpapahalaga sa akin at tine-treasure ako. un lang naman ang gusto ko. is it too much to ask? ano ba ang dapat kong gawin para makamtan ko ito? hindi ko talaga maintindihan.
i need some other hububs. this hubub is way too set as priority. i don't want that. why am i feeling so lonely and sad now, when i know it's what i am long before and i never felt so bad about it until now? that person is really a damn influntial person and i hope, i really hope and i summon the heavens up above that that person will feel the same as i do. mwahahahahahahaha!
ferdie messaged me again and he already received the message from that person. that person told ferdie that that person is so sorry and guessing that that person is just preoccupied. i just laughed, smiled and then sobbed then started to cry. funny reaction, isn't it? too bad. o well, i guess i do have a new reason for me self....."I'm PREOCCUPIED!!!!!", mwahahahahahahaha! for crying out loud, FUCK YOU!
o well i'm back to my inocence and i'm calm and i feel light and i feel darn freaking annoyed irritated, mad and upset! garsh! what the fuck is that supposed to mean? you're preoccupied and stuff and stuff and stuff. i can't seem to understand that and i can't even barely absorb it. ok so if i find somnething not good with them, i'll sway away and tell them, i'm preoccupied. i'll try my very damn self to just make excuses and forget about them. am i just another echo? i said i don't want to be just another echo. then suddenly sunday, here i am, just an echo. BUSET! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! if you can barely see me now and how mad i am with this. one more thing that person is planning to go to ferdie's place. nakuha mo pang ganun. tapos, what will happen is just to mingle with that darn phone of yours? why don't you just make ammends and have fun and go to videoke bars with you darn self and darn freaking cellphone? isn't it good. right now, i'm just laughing at others here and talking to them like i don't have a problem but basically i'm freaking pissed off. just to get a way from this messed up situation. putang ina mo talga! i just realized, the more i get information the more i get pissed and so i have decided not to do any moves and just stick with my intuition and decisions. my decision is to just drop all of these. drop all of this stupid infatuations flakiness and patheticness. i'm looking forward to meet new people that would meet the standards that i wanted. good luck. i'll snap out of this blog thing, i'll just keep myself cool and at ease. that's pretty good enough.
when that person's down fall comes around, i'll be waiting. mwahahahahahaha! but i will still be here. to hear and listen to that person.
i don't know who just called me on my phone. basically i pressed f3 and someone called and informed me to go auto in. i said to myself, how can i go on auto in if you called. it pisses me off.
basically, cy was assigned as the fw for the day. wow, i'm really envious. actually, my question is why was he assigned, why not me. that's unreasonable. i thought she would assign me. and so i'm here, bitter and all, and i hated myself for being or feeling that way. garsh this is agony. i hate it man! in other words, or to cut it short, i'm insecure. argh! i hate it man. i'm not like this. why am i feeling it now? is this the effect of the cigar i'm taking. or is it because i'm darn stupid, dumb and worthless. well i guess both. aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!
so far everyhtings gonna be ok. i have to go to bench later to buy me a styling gum. i've run out of it and i need to have one again to style me freaking ugly hair. ciao. see you tomorrow to share another sad, pathetic story. one thing is FUCK YOU ATOY! you're one darn asshole!
on the other hand, i've checked my salary yesterday. it pisses me off. i only got 8.5. i wonder why is that? they said that it is because of the taxes and deductions for the month. too bad. i was not able to buy me a pair of shoes. eventually i went there in that shoe shop. i thought it was buy one take one. i thought that it was just 500. basically it's 30% discount and 30% discount is 700 bucks. my goodness, it's not alloted for my budget. my budget was 500. so , **sigh** too sad. this thing happeneds because GOD has or really has a purpose in me. i thank him for that. well there's always another day. or another moment to come for that want.
i just realized that i asked GOD to make that person get away and to sway away from me. now, it is happeining and i'm complaining. i feel so guilty about it. this is not right. anyway, when He do things or does things like these it's always right. there's nothing i can do about it.you know what? i can't barely breathe, sleep, think straight and i'm even confused with the things going on here. if only i could forget all about this stuff. the problem is because i'm always at home and i tend to think about certain situation about that person. it makes me sick, ill and even freak out. it affects my relationship with my family. i seem to carry on the problem onto them. i hate myself for that. i really fucking hate myself. please make it stop, make it go away and make me free and find my solace. **sigh** i just can't find a way and find someone that will make me feel good, happy, important and i feel like i'm not being valued and treasured by people who i value and treasure. to sad, what a tearjerker. i'm tired. i'm freaking so tired and pissed with all these. i wish that icould die just right now. if only i could a finda way to make wverything fine again, then it'll be all good. i wish i did not meet that person. i wish i did not care at all. that person is really influential. i believe in KARMA. that person do believe in KARMA also. so i believe karma is headed towards him, mwahahahahaha! loser!
well tl conducted a meeting, i accidentally glanced on that persons station and i have seen his station and it's already empty. so i felt so bad and felt so hurt, i can barely feel the pain that that person had caused me. then i went ahead and grabbed a smoke and i met that person there. that person greeted me and i just smiled and raised my eyebrows. then went ahead and smoked. i was about to cry but i've managed to control it. thankfully no one noticed my eyes. then my 2 other teamates came in had a chit chat and we laughed and i was able to forget the feeling for just a minute. i went ahead and went back to my station and i unlocked my pc. i started to close my eyes, looked down and covered my eyes with my hand. i was able to relax and meditate to release everything and start all over again. i'm starting to get over that person. and i think i can manage that. i will manage and i shall manage to do that. huh! you prock. i'm not being bitter here. i'm just expressing my anger. that person does not seem to care at all. well that's fine, go and live your life coz i'm going to do the same thing. as long as i have ferdie around, that's ok and i can ;live my life. mwahahahahahaha!
ok while i was writning this, i decided to read the book. then unintentionally, i looked back at me, because of my curiopusity, then i accidentally saw that person. ok i was shocked and trying hard to erase anything that goes in my mind about that person. so i continued reading the book then momentarily that person went by oat our station and said goodbye to tl then turned back, i think hthat person just forgtten to say good bye to me and so that person went back at my station and hand that person's hand, a sign of give me five. so i tapped my hand on that person's hand, then both of us smiled at each other. i felt fine now. i felt a bit fine and yet confused. sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! i hate this feeling. 3 minutes and counting and i'm going to take my lunch. i hope that everythings gonna be fine. **sigh** this is all crap to me. then now cy is being assigned as a floorwalker. ok fine. am i being rejected here? ok i'm yused to it anyway.
i just took my lunch. i went to the smoking room to grab a smoke and ferdie messaged me asking if he has a feedback regarding the call he took yesterday. so far i told him that there's none. i messaged him to mesage that person and sask how that person is. he told me that he just loaded his account now and i'm the first one he messaged me and he will message him now. thanks dude. somehow i lost some pain and torments in my heart. but it's not an assurance and i don't know what to expect. god speed anyway. bahala na si batman. i don't ever wanna loose a friend as what i've been experiencing long before. it's ok but it'll really hurt me so bad and it will lead me to suffering.
i guess i like some suffering, do you think? is it my destiny? o well, that's pretty way too bad. let me just go bck to my DOMICILLE. let me go back to where i started and that i'm aware that this happened and i find a way to avoid it. i guess it's the insticnt. o well, life is so tragic. life's a bitch! being emotional, sensitive and nostalgic and also a tearjerker brings tears to my eyes, mening i tend to cry whenever i feel this shits! i really fucking hate this. can you like prescribe me something to make me change my living and thinking? please, for crying out loud! make me feel that i'm ok alone and all by myself. so that i can go on and move on with my life. i, want, to , be stronger, confident, and wiser. i wish i could train myself andd make myself aware of it. please give me a way and the strength to carry on with my own darn freaking pathetic self and life. come on, i'm summoning you. this is not a joke, this is serious. please lang po! parang awa nyo na. i hope that when i wake up one day or later or tomorrow, i won't feel these pains no more. that i have recovered from these torments. and that iw on't have to think about that person anymore. i should learn to hate that person so i can move on with my own freaking self. as what i was long before. arggggggggggggggh! uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh!
naiinis na talaga ako. ayaw ko na. sawang-sawa na ako at gusto ko nang makawala dito sa pagiging attach sa mga taong di naman ako pinapahalagahan at tine-tresasure (di ko alam ang tagalog nun, in fact i've asked several people here.) sana makahanap at makatagpo ako ng taong magpapahalaga sa akin at tine-treasure ako. un lang naman ang gusto ko. is it too much to ask? ano ba ang dapat kong gawin para makamtan ko ito? hindi ko talaga maintindihan.
i need some other hububs. this hubub is way too set as priority. i don't want that. why am i feeling so lonely and sad now, when i know it's what i am long before and i never felt so bad about it until now? that person is really a damn influntial person and i hope, i really hope and i summon the heavens up above that that person will feel the same as i do. mwahahahahahahaha!
ferdie messaged me again and he already received the message from that person. that person told ferdie that that person is so sorry and guessing that that person is just preoccupied. i just laughed, smiled and then sobbed then started to cry. funny reaction, isn't it? too bad. o well, i guess i do have a new reason for me self....."I'm PREOCCUPIED!!!!!", mwahahahahahahaha! for crying out loud, FUCK YOU!
o well i'm back to my inocence and i'm calm and i feel light and i feel darn freaking annoyed irritated, mad and upset! garsh! what the fuck is that supposed to mean? you're preoccupied and stuff and stuff and stuff. i can't seem to understand that and i can't even barely absorb it. ok so if i find somnething not good with them, i'll sway away and tell them, i'm preoccupied. i'll try my very damn self to just make excuses and forget about them. am i just another echo? i said i don't want to be just another echo. then suddenly sunday, here i am, just an echo. BUSET! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! if you can barely see me now and how mad i am with this. one more thing that person is planning to go to ferdie's place. nakuha mo pang ganun. tapos, what will happen is just to mingle with that darn phone of yours? why don't you just make ammends and have fun and go to videoke bars with you darn self and darn freaking cellphone? isn't it good. right now, i'm just laughing at others here and talking to them like i don't have a problem but basically i'm freaking pissed off. just to get a way from this messed up situation. putang ina mo talga! i just realized, the more i get information the more i get pissed and so i have decided not to do any moves and just stick with my intuition and decisions. my decision is to just drop all of these. drop all of this stupid infatuations flakiness and patheticness. i'm looking forward to meet new people that would meet the standards that i wanted. good luck. i'll snap out of this blog thing, i'll just keep myself cool and at ease. that's pretty good enough.
when that person's down fall comes around, i'll be waiting. mwahahahahahaha! but i will still be here. to hear and listen to that person.
i don't know who just called me on my phone. basically i pressed f3 and someone called and informed me to go auto in. i said to myself, how can i go on auto in if you called. it pisses me off.
basically, cy was assigned as the fw for the day. wow, i'm really envious. actually, my question is why was he assigned, why not me. that's unreasonable. i thought she would assign me. and so i'm here, bitter and all, and i hated myself for being or feeling that way. garsh this is agony. i hate it man! in other words, or to cut it short, i'm insecure. argh! i hate it man. i'm not like this. why am i feeling it now? is this the effect of the cigar i'm taking. or is it because i'm darn stupid, dumb and worthless. well i guess both. aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!
so far everyhtings gonna be ok. i have to go to bench later to buy me a styling gum. i've run out of it and i need to have one again to style me freaking ugly hair. ciao. see you tomorrow to share another sad, pathetic story. one thing is FUCK YOU ATOY! you're one darn asshole!
posted by ly at 2:17 PM
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