dreadful
finally, i got ferdie on my side. now, my day will have a major change. hopefully tomorrow will be the same. now i feel so light that i don't really worry about something....you know, that person!.... moving on, ferdie was able to bring with him the VCD ELEKTRA. I'm going to watch that over the weekend. so somehow there's a change with my freaking routinary day. of course i'm goignt o copy it again on my computer dso i have a collection of VCDs and music. Then suddenly a call came through and i had an agrevated customer. i was pretty scared and eventyually i was able to not provide information that would make tghe call worse. i was able to transfer the customer to CRL and ok thankfuully i was able to get out of the call.
i just realized that i forgot to put on my leather wrist band and watch. so right now, i'm barely naked. i feel like i'm naked. then just thought that it's a good sign for a change. i believe that i have recovered from a serious pain, scorn, frustrations and stuff including aggrevation. isn't it good. now i'm not worried that much anymore. i managed not to think about, you know, the "he who must not be named @". mwahahahahaha! i don't want to mention that name no more because it flashes back memories and stuff that brings me down. pakshet! moving on with my not so beautiful life, last noight i was able to discover a new SW for me to transfer and backup all my messages from my cellphone so i can delete all messages and start a new. that's the first step i guess for a change. i love changes, it helps me, not to grow, but it helps me clear my mind, confident and breathe. it's so goooood. i love it. i just don't have to muchly be affected by those kinds of arrogant people. including self-centered, egoistic, egocentric, prideful, scalawag. so much for nothing, it's just so tough. I need to snap out of too much hububs. i just need to focus more on my family, especially my mom. i believe that it will help me grow. friends come, friends go, so what! they're just the sam eold user, taking advantage and arrogant people. as if they want to help you out but definitely, they have a purpose, a diversive plan and purpose to drag you down.... too bad and yest so sad and pathetic. that's what you call losers!
wel igot another call and it regards with a stupid internet connection through LAN. i hate it but eventually the embicille did something with her product and so she will call back. finally, i got off the phone. moving on, what else could go wrong today? hmmmmmm, let me guess, SIRET! i failed the exam i took yesterday and so i'm going tho take it again. mwahahahaha! at least i have an hour again to go on petics. tl said that it's ok that i failed the written exam so i have the chance to study more. she even mentioned that there are people who took written exam for one time and when they took the CBT, they failed. mwahahahahaha! belat! anyway i believe that he told that to me just to give me hope and stuff. what i can say is, don't give me false hope. look at this minions, i really don't like to see them around, i'm iritated, especially with the face of ALEX. now that they're gone, i can breathe now. mwahahahahahaha!
something just went on my mind. here are the things i will do for a change:
1. I'll never think about that person
2. I'll have to deal with my own freaking self
3. if ever we would spent time together i'll just shut up and never share anything else
4. i won't feel free to talk at all, and i'll just find my solcae with another firend until he realize things, mwahahahaha
5. hopefully, when he realize that i'm already over things. I have gotten over it .
6. Sana naman noh, mawala na 'tong tangang feeling na ito para masaya. at sya naman ang maka-experience and that's fun.
7. i'll ignorethat person at all times, until that person misses me and could not sleep and could not breathe any longer.
Hopefully mangyari ito, but i think it's far from hope coz that peron is a kind of person which is egoistic and prideful. fine! i'll forget all the things that person said to me, all the sweetness and stuff. bolero pala sya. pwedeng-pwede syang manloko ng mga tao. nakakahiya. feeling ko traitor sya. malakas ang kutob ko sobra. i just took my break and had these thoughts that, people who has nice face, good loking or whatever you may call it, is deceivng. based on my experience, people who i meet with that kkind of face may be look nice but eventually they are a back stabbing bastard. i believe that person is that type of person. la lang i get to connect a lot of things that leads me to that conclusion. it's just my opinion. i never know what really is that person's intnetion. i'm even wondering that , that person is just using me. based on the book that i'm reading, i believe that or in it, that you have something that people need. you must do something more for them to keep coming back to you. but i find it unethical. i really want is people is there for you because your nice, you're good, not only because you have something that they need. i'm not only referring to physical things but because there's something in you. what i'm trying to say is, it's an achievement that the person or anyone keeps coming back to you because they treasure and value you. because of the experience the reason why they want to come back to you. as what i know, i keep coming back to that person because of the great experience that i had, not only because that person is smart or wise but i enjoyed the experience that we had. honestly, i'm a loyal person. i don't want goodbyes. eventhough we have to part ways, at least we still have communications and we also have great times about stuff and all.
what botheres me is , if theat person want to be acknowledged, why can't that person think that otheres want the same way. well, numb as what it shows. hopefully when i grow older, i would meet someone younger than me, and i will be sensitive, which i am, so we would establish great friendship until the end of time. and that's agreat experience, don't you think? i really value friendship that's why i'm writing these feeling that i have which people don't understand. they would think that i'm a diversed person and all, but i know myself.
why can't i manage to make myself like others. what i mean is, like others, they seem not so dedicated to their friends. they don't even bother to loose that friend and all. they don't value it that much. why can't i be like that? why do i have to be like this. so pathetic, sorrowful, nostalgic and bothered leading to confusions and all. i know we all have a reason to be there. we all have a thing or two to learn. but i feel like i'm not learning. i think that i just have this trex brain. so little, it never expands and it never grows. i blame myself for that. i kept myself trapped in a cage. i fell into their web that i couldnot just get out and i don't know how. what i really want to happen now is for me to fly high listen to rock music and freak out let things go my way. i also wanted people to follow me. appreciate things that i do to me i mean to them. i want someone that lets me feel that they value and treasure me. ito cut it short, i want others to be sensitive so we can jive and make the companionship even stronger. that's very cool.
well, basically none cares.no one would ever know these feeling i hiave and what i hide. no one will ever understand me at all. that's why i just kept writing it anywhere and posting it to this blog site just to release all temperamental, sorrow, and uneasiness. ok SOLACE, so where are you exactly? can you like make it easy for me to search for you. it's making me sick and i'm tired. i'm giving up, almost. but i do believe you're just there. can you like message me so i know you still exists.
some of my team mates here took their final ezam and they got 66, 64 and so on,out of 70. that's great! how about me? will i be able to pass the exam? will i be able to take itjust once or twice then both will fail. humiliating. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, what a loser here. i should have been at ferdie's station. i should have been there all along. if it were'nt for tl and stuff, i would not be in this freaking station. i just hate it. i really would like to isolate myself from them because i don't feel any good in this team. fish and his dominions or shall i say minions are dominating and i don't want to absorb their selfcenteredness even anyone's self centeredness. they all suck. makes me confused. it disturbs me and i really just can't breathe and sleep. darn it. if icould just fly away, breakaway, break free, freak out, get away, get over and make myself free from this uneasiness, then life would be much fun, great and comfy. it seems like all people i meet are casuing so much pain, away from any pleasure. it drags me down, breaks me down and makes me wanna kill myself. i really feel so hopeless. i feel so restless. can somebody just kill me please,or make my self go insane so i would not feel this torment, or these torments. why were they so selfish?
moving on with my pathetic life, i hope that it's payday, so i can purchase a sim reader for me to transfer all my messages from my phone to my computer so i can delete all of it and keep it for the rest of my freaking life. isn't it great. i like to collect things. my mom even told me that it's funny. it's not even that important to keep all those stuff. well i'm a kind of person who treasure and value people's messages. it's a gesture that somehow they thought about you. they managed to think about you and know how you were or you are. it's a cool and kind feeling. she can't undestand that. i've told her that it's a priviledge to do that kind of stuff. she should not react or over react. then they've noticed that i just shaved my mustache. my mom and sister said that it's much better and it made me look like a human being, but i need to shave my beard also. well i'll think about it. actually i wa shaving a hard time thinking yesterday if i want to shave my mustache or not. well the end result, i decided to shave it. so i felt like an idiot here. the people that surrounds me makes me feel like an idiot. those bastards. argh! i want to breakwaway for crying out loud! i'm fed up with all of these thinkings and thoughts that roams and creeps inside my head. unpleasant and yet disturbing.
SINUSUMPA KO, LAHAT KAYONG MGA NILALANG NA NAGPAPASAKIT SA AKIN E, MAKAKARANAS NG HINDI MAGANDANG BAGAY NA NANGYAYARI SA AKIN. MAKIKITA KO RIN ANG SOLACE KO, AT PAG NAN DUN NA AKO, KAYO NAMAN ANG MAG-SUFFER. THE AGONY! PUTANG INA KAYO!
i'm so tired. i'm so tired. that's all i can say now. by the way i was ignored yesterday, and today and so i will be better. huh! i'm not affected. if you wanna do it continously, no problem, have fun. bastards! i've read the log sheet regarding placns for the TEAM BUILDING, and a lot of people are saying to go to ALEXIS' place. ayaw ko nga!bahala kayo. kayo na lang mag team building, hindi na ako excited and i'm not looking forward for it, no more. i will not come, just go and have fun yourself. i feel like i'm not or i don't belonmg in the team. so back off and leave me alone.
right now i feel so irritated with these things and feelings that creeps in me. it's really killing me. i wanted to go to sleep and just sleep all day. well i took my luch and sadly to say, i wasnot able to take it with ferdie. he went ahead first and we met at the elevator and i just took mine donwstairs. i was still in a call, that's why. then i still have this thoughts creeping inside my head and it's really making me sad and wants to bring me to cry. how can i ever release this kind of feeling. everywhere i go, i kept thinking about it. that bastard! he's a sickening shitty firend that i've ever met. it's so annoying. if it weren't for my mom, i would not be like this, but i am now. i should have learned how to be recekless and stubborna nd selfish. so that i won't have this kind of feeling. it's really dragging me down, all the way down. that person is so selfish, so deeply that i could just kill him. but of course i won't do that. what is it in that person why i keep asking for more. actually, the book says about things you do that people wants to get back or keeps coming back to you. i am the one that says keeps coming back. pakshet talaga. for crying out loud. sana sya rin para naman ok na ako. kung maipakita nya na ganun sya, ok na ang lahat and i will be the same as what that person is. tang ina talaga. sobrang hanggang illusion na lang ako. nakakabwisit na. ayaw ko na ng ganito, it's killing me....... gusto ko pag-umalis ako, they'll feel bad about it at that's the time na lagi nila ako kakamustahin. sana nga talaga. haaaaay, what a life. what a day! i always have this same old story everytime i go to work. i just realized na i should change my routinary life. i should stop creating blogs about what's going on with me. it's such a waste. just like mitch, she does not always consult her blog, she would consult it every after 2-3 days. and i'm having the same old darn stories that is really annoying. please make it stop right now! help me break away from these bad feelings and stuff to have a new life.
o well i'll just have to park my hands from this. see you perhaps tomorrow or someday.
i just realized that i forgot to put on my leather wrist band and watch. so right now, i'm barely naked. i feel like i'm naked. then just thought that it's a good sign for a change. i believe that i have recovered from a serious pain, scorn, frustrations and stuff including aggrevation. isn't it good. now i'm not worried that much anymore. i managed not to think about, you know, the "he who must not be named @". mwahahahahaha! i don't want to mention that name no more because it flashes back memories and stuff that brings me down. pakshet! moving on with my not so beautiful life, last noight i was able to discover a new SW for me to transfer and backup all my messages from my cellphone so i can delete all messages and start a new. that's the first step i guess for a change. i love changes, it helps me, not to grow, but it helps me clear my mind, confident and breathe. it's so goooood. i love it. i just don't have to muchly be affected by those kinds of arrogant people. including self-centered, egoistic, egocentric, prideful, scalawag. so much for nothing, it's just so tough. I need to snap out of too much hububs. i just need to focus more on my family, especially my mom. i believe that it will help me grow. friends come, friends go, so what! they're just the sam eold user, taking advantage and arrogant people. as if they want to help you out but definitely, they have a purpose, a diversive plan and purpose to drag you down.... too bad and yest so sad and pathetic. that's what you call losers!
wel igot another call and it regards with a stupid internet connection through LAN. i hate it but eventually the embicille did something with her product and so she will call back. finally, i got off the phone. moving on, what else could go wrong today? hmmmmmm, let me guess, SIRET! i failed the exam i took yesterday and so i'm going tho take it again. mwahahahaha! at least i have an hour again to go on petics. tl said that it's ok that i failed the written exam so i have the chance to study more. she even mentioned that there are people who took written exam for one time and when they took the CBT, they failed. mwahahahahaha! belat! anyway i believe that he told that to me just to give me hope and stuff. what i can say is, don't give me false hope. look at this minions, i really don't like to see them around, i'm iritated, especially with the face of ALEX. now that they're gone, i can breathe now. mwahahahahahaha!
something just went on my mind. here are the things i will do for a change:
1. I'll never think about that person
2. I'll have to deal with my own freaking self
3. if ever we would spent time together i'll just shut up and never share anything else
4. i won't feel free to talk at all, and i'll just find my solcae with another firend until he realize things, mwahahahaha
5. hopefully, when he realize that i'm already over things. I have gotten over it .
6. Sana naman noh, mawala na 'tong tangang feeling na ito para masaya. at sya naman ang maka-experience and that's fun.
7. i'll ignorethat person at all times, until that person misses me and could not sleep and could not breathe any longer.
Hopefully mangyari ito, but i think it's far from hope coz that peron is a kind of person which is egoistic and prideful. fine! i'll forget all the things that person said to me, all the sweetness and stuff. bolero pala sya. pwedeng-pwede syang manloko ng mga tao. nakakahiya. feeling ko traitor sya. malakas ang kutob ko sobra. i just took my break and had these thoughts that, people who has nice face, good loking or whatever you may call it, is deceivng. based on my experience, people who i meet with that kkind of face may be look nice but eventually they are a back stabbing bastard. i believe that person is that type of person. la lang i get to connect a lot of things that leads me to that conclusion. it's just my opinion. i never know what really is that person's intnetion. i'm even wondering that , that person is just using me. based on the book that i'm reading, i believe that or in it, that you have something that people need. you must do something more for them to keep coming back to you. but i find it unethical. i really want is people is there for you because your nice, you're good, not only because you have something that they need. i'm not only referring to physical things but because there's something in you. what i'm trying to say is, it's an achievement that the person or anyone keeps coming back to you because they treasure and value you. because of the experience the reason why they want to come back to you. as what i know, i keep coming back to that person because of the great experience that i had, not only because that person is smart or wise but i enjoyed the experience that we had. honestly, i'm a loyal person. i don't want goodbyes. eventhough we have to part ways, at least we still have communications and we also have great times about stuff and all.
what botheres me is , if theat person want to be acknowledged, why can't that person think that otheres want the same way. well, numb as what it shows. hopefully when i grow older, i would meet someone younger than me, and i will be sensitive, which i am, so we would establish great friendship until the end of time. and that's agreat experience, don't you think? i really value friendship that's why i'm writing these feeling that i have which people don't understand. they would think that i'm a diversed person and all, but i know myself.
why can't i manage to make myself like others. what i mean is, like others, they seem not so dedicated to their friends. they don't even bother to loose that friend and all. they don't value it that much. why can't i be like that? why do i have to be like this. so pathetic, sorrowful, nostalgic and bothered leading to confusions and all. i know we all have a reason to be there. we all have a thing or two to learn. but i feel like i'm not learning. i think that i just have this trex brain. so little, it never expands and it never grows. i blame myself for that. i kept myself trapped in a cage. i fell into their web that i couldnot just get out and i don't know how. what i really want to happen now is for me to fly high listen to rock music and freak out let things go my way. i also wanted people to follow me. appreciate things that i do to me i mean to them. i want someone that lets me feel that they value and treasure me. ito cut it short, i want others to be sensitive so we can jive and make the companionship even stronger. that's very cool.
well, basically none cares.no one would ever know these feeling i hiave and what i hide. no one will ever understand me at all. that's why i just kept writing it anywhere and posting it to this blog site just to release all temperamental, sorrow, and uneasiness. ok SOLACE, so where are you exactly? can you like make it easy for me to search for you. it's making me sick and i'm tired. i'm giving up, almost. but i do believe you're just there. can you like message me so i know you still exists.
some of my team mates here took their final ezam and they got 66, 64 and so on,out of 70. that's great! how about me? will i be able to pass the exam? will i be able to take itjust once or twice then both will fail. humiliating. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, what a loser here. i should have been at ferdie's station. i should have been there all along. if it were'nt for tl and stuff, i would not be in this freaking station. i just hate it. i really would like to isolate myself from them because i don't feel any good in this team. fish and his dominions or shall i say minions are dominating and i don't want to absorb their selfcenteredness even anyone's self centeredness. they all suck. makes me confused. it disturbs me and i really just can't breathe and sleep. darn it. if icould just fly away, breakaway, break free, freak out, get away, get over and make myself free from this uneasiness, then life would be much fun, great and comfy. it seems like all people i meet are casuing so much pain, away from any pleasure. it drags me down, breaks me down and makes me wanna kill myself. i really feel so hopeless. i feel so restless. can somebody just kill me please,or make my self go insane so i would not feel this torment, or these torments. why were they so selfish?
moving on with my pathetic life, i hope that it's payday, so i can purchase a sim reader for me to transfer all my messages from my phone to my computer so i can delete all of it and keep it for the rest of my freaking life. isn't it great. i like to collect things. my mom even told me that it's funny. it's not even that important to keep all those stuff. well i'm a kind of person who treasure and value people's messages. it's a gesture that somehow they thought about you. they managed to think about you and know how you were or you are. it's a cool and kind feeling. she can't undestand that. i've told her that it's a priviledge to do that kind of stuff. she should not react or over react. then they've noticed that i just shaved my mustache. my mom and sister said that it's much better and it made me look like a human being, but i need to shave my beard also. well i'll think about it. actually i wa shaving a hard time thinking yesterday if i want to shave my mustache or not. well the end result, i decided to shave it. so i felt like an idiot here. the people that surrounds me makes me feel like an idiot. those bastards. argh! i want to breakwaway for crying out loud! i'm fed up with all of these thinkings and thoughts that roams and creeps inside my head. unpleasant and yet disturbing.
SINUSUMPA KO, LAHAT KAYONG MGA NILALANG NA NAGPAPASAKIT SA AKIN E, MAKAKARANAS NG HINDI MAGANDANG BAGAY NA NANGYAYARI SA AKIN. MAKIKITA KO RIN ANG SOLACE KO, AT PAG NAN DUN NA AKO, KAYO NAMAN ANG MAG-SUFFER. THE AGONY! PUTANG INA KAYO!
i'm so tired. i'm so tired. that's all i can say now. by the way i was ignored yesterday, and today and so i will be better. huh! i'm not affected. if you wanna do it continously, no problem, have fun. bastards! i've read the log sheet regarding placns for the TEAM BUILDING, and a lot of people are saying to go to ALEXIS' place. ayaw ko nga!bahala kayo. kayo na lang mag team building, hindi na ako excited and i'm not looking forward for it, no more. i will not come, just go and have fun yourself. i feel like i'm not or i don't belonmg in the team. so back off and leave me alone.
right now i feel so irritated with these things and feelings that creeps in me. it's really killing me. i wanted to go to sleep and just sleep all day. well i took my luch and sadly to say, i wasnot able to take it with ferdie. he went ahead first and we met at the elevator and i just took mine donwstairs. i was still in a call, that's why. then i still have this thoughts creeping inside my head and it's really making me sad and wants to bring me to cry. how can i ever release this kind of feeling. everywhere i go, i kept thinking about it. that bastard! he's a sickening shitty firend that i've ever met. it's so annoying. if it weren't for my mom, i would not be like this, but i am now. i should have learned how to be recekless and stubborna nd selfish. so that i won't have this kind of feeling. it's really dragging me down, all the way down. that person is so selfish, so deeply that i could just kill him. but of course i won't do that. what is it in that person why i keep asking for more. actually, the book says about things you do that people wants to get back or keeps coming back to you. i am the one that says keeps coming back. pakshet talaga. for crying out loud. sana sya rin para naman ok na ako. kung maipakita nya na ganun sya, ok na ang lahat and i will be the same as what that person is. tang ina talaga. sobrang hanggang illusion na lang ako. nakakabwisit na. ayaw ko na ng ganito, it's killing me....... gusto ko pag-umalis ako, they'll feel bad about it at that's the time na lagi nila ako kakamustahin. sana nga talaga. haaaaay, what a life. what a day! i always have this same old story everytime i go to work. i just realized na i should change my routinary life. i should stop creating blogs about what's going on with me. it's such a waste. just like mitch, she does not always consult her blog, she would consult it every after 2-3 days. and i'm having the same old darn stories that is really annoying. please make it stop right now! help me break away from these bad feelings and stuff to have a new life.
o well i'll just have to park my hands from this. see you perhaps tomorrow or someday.
posted by ly at 10:46 AM
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