farewell for a tearjerker pathetic nostalgic bastard!
5:31 am. yesterday, coup de etat was started. we were informed by our shft sup to stay here and make it as an ot. well i did mind about it. my mom messaged me to stayput. but after the shift i've decided to go home and thnakfully it was ok, no problem at all. i've arrived home safe and sound. well, it's getting started again. it's hard to have situations like that. of course all people who are at work will have difficulty to go home. anyway, life is ever so strange so full of change, and you just have to go with the flow.
thankfully it's saturday, tomorrow will be my day off then on monday night, a change of schedule, i need to go to work. i have decided to work out tomorrow and also to do some updating on my computer. i'm wondering why my pc is so slow, but definitely i have installed a lot of software in my computer but i do believe it should not be the case. i have a lot of cds at home, it's all mp3s and i am thinking twice if i should dispose them all or just keep it. that's why i hate cds. at least if you have an mp3 player, you don't have to use any disc and you just need to delete the contents or replace the contents. well basically, i still don't have a budget to buy that portable player. too expensive.
when i have arrived home i immediately sleep. i feel so tired and burn out. i woke up at around 9pm. then i took my dinner and bought my mom a medicine then again went to sleep. now i still feel so sleepy, but i feel so light. i think i have got over with the shits i feel inside. i'm not expecting no more. i feel so alive now. still worried about the promotion. i'm wondering if i'm still in line. my tl is so unpredictable. whatever you see with her action, it does not match with the things she had said to me. i'm pissed off. hopefully, she would somehow let me feel that i'm still in line. that bitch! moving on, i just can't wait til 3 pm so i can go home. by the way, we'll be going to our team mate's house. it's his birthday. i don't know whether to come or just go straight home. sooo irritating.
i took my break. well guess what, that person came in with that person's team mate. well, that person called me by my name. then that's it. we did not even have any conversation. thankfully, kris arrived so i was able to initiate conversation with kris. showing that person that i'm not sad or whatsoever. eventually, that person was just quiet. i'm wondering if that person could not talk because i'm there. it was so funny, for crying out loud. my goodness. talagang di nya ako kinakausap. putangina? mwahahahahahaha! napaka pathetic nya. sobra! ano problematic ba sya? kasi kung hindi nya babaguhin ang ugali nya, worse comes to worse talaga. well, buti na lang i'm ok now. finally, i'm alright, uhuhuhuhuhu, joke! well, goodluck na lang sa kanya. iniisip ko nalang na sya ang lalapit sa akin. so far i know i did nothing wrong. that person was the one who does not approach me to talk and tell me something about that person's life. ok well, that's life anyway. sinasabi ko sayo, ako sobrang sentimental akong tao, sensitive pa at emotional pa, pero pag ito'y nasira sa kahit anong paraan, madali rin akong maka-recover at makalimot. ngayon i'm not feeling so bad about that person. i don't even feel so sad anymore. i don't really care about that person. as what i've said let me live my life as i will let you live your own freaking darn pathetic life. mwahahahahahahaha! good luck with that. basically that person is dragging itself down. dragging itself down (it self so that it's not specified if it's a he or a she.)
MOVING ON, i was able to update my friendster account. i was able to change my background image. pretty good. i'm loving it. anyway, i will start reading the book now, a new book, so i can be busy or something.
well i just took my lunch and kept thinking about what had happened. well i feel good and not so bad about that perosn. well eventually, that person is so pathetic. i don't find myself pathetic anymore and it's not my loss. sooner or later i would find something in me that would make me happy and even satisfy my needs and wants. my life does not go round in that person. so life goes on, so to say. i'm not the one who's at lost here. that person is. i will be able to find solace and i feel it coming. once and for all, i will be able to set myself free. thankfully, recovery was so easy. it flies so fast that definitely i am ok now. i wanted to tell that person, thank you for the good experiences and showing me the way to my growth. showing me how life goes and i like it. i'll be ok now. breaking free from the pain and suffering is just temporary. i thought it will be forever. o well, i am good now. at least i know that i did no wrong to anyone. as long as i make sure that i don't step on to anyone, i feel comfortable and good with that.
o well, life is so ever strange. i'm used from being rejected, then feel dejected, ignored, abandoned and left behind. there's nothing new with that. i just needed someone to talk to, to release this pain and experiences so i will feel ok. at least i have ferdie. and we have the same schedule and so we're ok. i guess that person is starting to find a way to sway away. that's even good. at least that person is making the move and not me. at least i'm not letting that person to feel rejected. i'll be just fine......
i'm wondering if ever i should go to the party. i'm not really sure if i'm going to enjoy it. perhaps there will be a lot of frineds of the person having the party and i will be out of place. too bad. so i'm thinking twice if i should come or not. i don't even have a clue. i think i should not come no more because i'm not really sure on how things will flow on that party. o well, happy birthday anyway to that person, lawrence. i hope it's already 3pm so ican get a rest and have some fun with my computer and sleep and kill myself. yeah is that awesome?
i'm feeling so peculiar. i don't know exactly what would make me inspire to go to work. that person should feel lucky, because at least someone is so inspired to work because of that person. i am inspired to go to work because of that person. well that person made me lost that feeling. that person even made me mad and devastated. everytime i see that person, especially earlier, that person always have a problem with some people that surrounds that person. my advise to him is for him not to feel bad or sorry if other people that person know has already achieved some goals. i believe the reason why that person is not given a chance for promotions is that GOD makes that person feel and somehow make that person's self to change the attitude. that person should not be overly confident about itself. it's not logical that because you're smarter and wiser and even has all the skills, you are qualified to that position or you should be held first to that position. that's bitterness. i believe that that person is not happy for both of us, me and ferdie, well can't blame that person. if that person is planning to either kill itself, quit, or whatsoever, well good luck with that. one thing that i shall promise is, if that person needs me, well i will always be here to hear that person.
so much to say, so much ado, but the topic always discusses all about that person. well, basically it's because that person is extraordinary to me. a lot of things has changed in me and i'm commending that person with that. i'm an appreciative person. i'm also a shy person that's why i don't talk much or utter. hopefully everythings going to change and that i'll be able to drop it, 100%. sooner or later i believe that all the things that i am feeling will settle down and somehow revert me back from where i started.
**sigh** i just can't wait for what's going to happen today or even later. i haven't decided yet whether i should go to the party or to my best friend's place. i've messaged my friend but until now i haven't have any reply yet. perhaps she's busy or she just don't care at all. who knows. if ever she's not available then i guess i should go to the party just to somehow build friendship and closeness with those 2 new cool guys. and to somehow forget that person. mwahahahahaha! what do you think will happen later? i'm pretty much irritating for this question i keep asking, but i just feel so queasy today.
well ferdie told me a while ago that on monday, the queue will increase to 80-90%. i've just realized that it'll be a busy and tiring day. that will be just fine, basically it will help me forget things and people that makes me ill. but too bad i won't be able to post more journals here. but i'll find time. i don't know if ever that person will have the same schedule as mine but i don't mind and i don't care at all knowing it. basically, the reason why i am asking this is i really wanted to sway away from that person. i won't initiate any conversation unless he initiated it. i find that person as a mad man. man who hates the world and mad at the world. now i'm thinking back again about the CANADA agenda. well i will grab that. i will really grab that and make sure to stay there for the rest of my life so i can live my life peacefully and i can live with new surroundings. a major change and make over. i might find someone special there or maybe i would become wiser and smarter. i won't ever forget ferdie. of course i will always email or keep the communication open between us and also if ever i should come back here, i would ask him to see me or visit him. that would be fun.... i have a message let me check it....darn it, it was just my sister sending spam messages. moving on, if and only if i have not received precious message on or before 3pm today, i will go to the party in marikina. no matter what. mwahahahahahahahahahaha! *ehem, ehem*
i just heard from someone, roland, that christian, a co trainee from first aid, had an accident. he fell from 2nd floor of his apartment. i had one thing in mind tha it happened maybe because of his problem with his love life. o well, hopefully that's not the case. basically it happened when he was drunk. it could also lead to that conclusion. so much with the hypothesis one thing to find that out is to visit that person, but i don't know if ever i could or i can visit him. too bad for that. that's how i see how weak that person is when it comes to problems. just to say something about it. i'm also a problematic person but i never arrive or even thiknk to do stuff like that. well maybe it was really an accident. he was really drunk and suddenly he did not notice that he's going to fall. anyway, please help him recover and help him to get well.
so much accidents that is happening. we just need to take care of ourselves to avoid any hassles and more problems. i remember when i had an accident. i was on the back seat of the tricycle. along the intersection a jeep turned left and banged on the tricycle and got my right foot banged on it. it was really painfully and in fact i still have the scar. o well, thankfully, it was not that bad, but i am thinking that it would have an effect in the future. i might have pain or i would feel the after effect of that when i grow older. hopefully not.
well i just decided to go to the party and ok, hopefully it will be fun.
well see you on monday night. ciao romano.
thankfully it's saturday, tomorrow will be my day off then on monday night, a change of schedule, i need to go to work. i have decided to work out tomorrow and also to do some updating on my computer. i'm wondering why my pc is so slow, but definitely i have installed a lot of software in my computer but i do believe it should not be the case. i have a lot of cds at home, it's all mp3s and i am thinking twice if i should dispose them all or just keep it. that's why i hate cds. at least if you have an mp3 player, you don't have to use any disc and you just need to delete the contents or replace the contents. well basically, i still don't have a budget to buy that portable player. too expensive.
when i have arrived home i immediately sleep. i feel so tired and burn out. i woke up at around 9pm. then i took my dinner and bought my mom a medicine then again went to sleep. now i still feel so sleepy, but i feel so light. i think i have got over with the shits i feel inside. i'm not expecting no more. i feel so alive now. still worried about the promotion. i'm wondering if i'm still in line. my tl is so unpredictable. whatever you see with her action, it does not match with the things she had said to me. i'm pissed off. hopefully, she would somehow let me feel that i'm still in line. that bitch! moving on, i just can't wait til 3 pm so i can go home. by the way, we'll be going to our team mate's house. it's his birthday. i don't know whether to come or just go straight home. sooo irritating.
i took my break. well guess what, that person came in with that person's team mate. well, that person called me by my name. then that's it. we did not even have any conversation. thankfully, kris arrived so i was able to initiate conversation with kris. showing that person that i'm not sad or whatsoever. eventually, that person was just quiet. i'm wondering if that person could not talk because i'm there. it was so funny, for crying out loud. my goodness. talagang di nya ako kinakausap. putangina? mwahahahahahaha! napaka pathetic nya. sobra! ano problematic ba sya? kasi kung hindi nya babaguhin ang ugali nya, worse comes to worse talaga. well, buti na lang i'm ok now. finally, i'm alright, uhuhuhuhuhu, joke! well, goodluck na lang sa kanya. iniisip ko nalang na sya ang lalapit sa akin. so far i know i did nothing wrong. that person was the one who does not approach me to talk and tell me something about that person's life. ok well, that's life anyway. sinasabi ko sayo, ako sobrang sentimental akong tao, sensitive pa at emotional pa, pero pag ito'y nasira sa kahit anong paraan, madali rin akong maka-recover at makalimot. ngayon i'm not feeling so bad about that person. i don't even feel so sad anymore. i don't really care about that person. as what i've said let me live my life as i will let you live your own freaking darn pathetic life. mwahahahahahahaha! good luck with that. basically that person is dragging itself down. dragging itself down (it self so that it's not specified if it's a he or a she.)
MOVING ON, i was able to update my friendster account. i was able to change my background image. pretty good. i'm loving it. anyway, i will start reading the book now, a new book, so i can be busy or something.
well i just took my lunch and kept thinking about what had happened. well i feel good and not so bad about that perosn. well eventually, that person is so pathetic. i don't find myself pathetic anymore and it's not my loss. sooner or later i would find something in me that would make me happy and even satisfy my needs and wants. my life does not go round in that person. so life goes on, so to say. i'm not the one who's at lost here. that person is. i will be able to find solace and i feel it coming. once and for all, i will be able to set myself free. thankfully, recovery was so easy. it flies so fast that definitely i am ok now. i wanted to tell that person, thank you for the good experiences and showing me the way to my growth. showing me how life goes and i like it. i'll be ok now. breaking free from the pain and suffering is just temporary. i thought it will be forever. o well, i am good now. at least i know that i did no wrong to anyone. as long as i make sure that i don't step on to anyone, i feel comfortable and good with that.
o well, life is so ever strange. i'm used from being rejected, then feel dejected, ignored, abandoned and left behind. there's nothing new with that. i just needed someone to talk to, to release this pain and experiences so i will feel ok. at least i have ferdie. and we have the same schedule and so we're ok. i guess that person is starting to find a way to sway away. that's even good. at least that person is making the move and not me. at least i'm not letting that person to feel rejected. i'll be just fine......
i'm wondering if ever i should go to the party. i'm not really sure if i'm going to enjoy it. perhaps there will be a lot of frineds of the person having the party and i will be out of place. too bad. so i'm thinking twice if i should come or not. i don't even have a clue. i think i should not come no more because i'm not really sure on how things will flow on that party. o well, happy birthday anyway to that person, lawrence. i hope it's already 3pm so ican get a rest and have some fun with my computer and sleep and kill myself. yeah is that awesome?
i'm feeling so peculiar. i don't know exactly what would make me inspire to go to work. that person should feel lucky, because at least someone is so inspired to work because of that person. i am inspired to go to work because of that person. well that person made me lost that feeling. that person even made me mad and devastated. everytime i see that person, especially earlier, that person always have a problem with some people that surrounds that person. my advise to him is for him not to feel bad or sorry if other people that person know has already achieved some goals. i believe the reason why that person is not given a chance for promotions is that GOD makes that person feel and somehow make that person's self to change the attitude. that person should not be overly confident about itself. it's not logical that because you're smarter and wiser and even has all the skills, you are qualified to that position or you should be held first to that position. that's bitterness. i believe that that person is not happy for both of us, me and ferdie, well can't blame that person. if that person is planning to either kill itself, quit, or whatsoever, well good luck with that. one thing that i shall promise is, if that person needs me, well i will always be here to hear that person.
so much to say, so much ado, but the topic always discusses all about that person. well, basically it's because that person is extraordinary to me. a lot of things has changed in me and i'm commending that person with that. i'm an appreciative person. i'm also a shy person that's why i don't talk much or utter. hopefully everythings going to change and that i'll be able to drop it, 100%. sooner or later i believe that all the things that i am feeling will settle down and somehow revert me back from where i started.
**sigh** i just can't wait for what's going to happen today or even later. i haven't decided yet whether i should go to the party or to my best friend's place. i've messaged my friend but until now i haven't have any reply yet. perhaps she's busy or she just don't care at all. who knows. if ever she's not available then i guess i should go to the party just to somehow build friendship and closeness with those 2 new cool guys. and to somehow forget that person. mwahahahahaha! what do you think will happen later? i'm pretty much irritating for this question i keep asking, but i just feel so queasy today.
well ferdie told me a while ago that on monday, the queue will increase to 80-90%. i've just realized that it'll be a busy and tiring day. that will be just fine, basically it will help me forget things and people that makes me ill. but too bad i won't be able to post more journals here. but i'll find time. i don't know if ever that person will have the same schedule as mine but i don't mind and i don't care at all knowing it. basically, the reason why i am asking this is i really wanted to sway away from that person. i won't initiate any conversation unless he initiated it. i find that person as a mad man. man who hates the world and mad at the world. now i'm thinking back again about the CANADA agenda. well i will grab that. i will really grab that and make sure to stay there for the rest of my life so i can live my life peacefully and i can live with new surroundings. a major change and make over. i might find someone special there or maybe i would become wiser and smarter. i won't ever forget ferdie. of course i will always email or keep the communication open between us and also if ever i should come back here, i would ask him to see me or visit him. that would be fun.... i have a message let me check it....darn it, it was just my sister sending spam messages. moving on, if and only if i have not received precious message on or before 3pm today, i will go to the party in marikina. no matter what. mwahahahahahahahahahaha! *ehem, ehem*
i just heard from someone, roland, that christian, a co trainee from first aid, had an accident. he fell from 2nd floor of his apartment. i had one thing in mind tha it happened maybe because of his problem with his love life. o well, hopefully that's not the case. basically it happened when he was drunk. it could also lead to that conclusion. so much with the hypothesis one thing to find that out is to visit that person, but i don't know if ever i could or i can visit him. too bad for that. that's how i see how weak that person is when it comes to problems. just to say something about it. i'm also a problematic person but i never arrive or even thiknk to do stuff like that. well maybe it was really an accident. he was really drunk and suddenly he did not notice that he's going to fall. anyway, please help him recover and help him to get well.
so much accidents that is happening. we just need to take care of ourselves to avoid any hassles and more problems. i remember when i had an accident. i was on the back seat of the tricycle. along the intersection a jeep turned left and banged on the tricycle and got my right foot banged on it. it was really painfully and in fact i still have the scar. o well, thankfully, it was not that bad, but i am thinking that it would have an effect in the future. i might have pain or i would feel the after effect of that when i grow older. hopefully not.
well i just decided to go to the party and ok, hopefully it will be fun.
well see you on monday night. ciao romano.
posted by ly at 11:37 AM
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