Sunday, April 30, 2006

think of a better day

it just keeps getting better. well i have talke d with jakky about his promotion and all. then we talked about fish's promotion as a TL. well he qanted to know something about that shit head. well i have told him almost everything that has been going on. well one thing i have found out is he also deos not like fish and his first impression was he's not really a good and competent person. he has this aura that makes him feel that he cheats. well he's darn right and all i really wanted to say is fish is really a prick, the biggest prick. i just found out that there are a lot of people who hated that person. well it's only a proof that i'm not the only person that hsa this feeling about him. i definitely can connect what i think about fish with others. how i wish things could change. if only some shift sups here would ask me about it. well of course they won't even care about it and they believe that it is just a hearsay which i also consider because i don't have any written proof. well good luck with him. hopefully everyone would like him and hopefully he won't be a bitch with his team. honestly, i envy him with his action plans. at least he has that. unlike me, i'm just a pathetic born loser with nothing to prove. there's always a brand new day. maybe because this is just not my day and all or even not my year. i was hoping that people would recognize me as a nice decent person but i believe they don't well it's better that way than being popular and all, people would really find a way for your downfall. i keep on hoping that i would be promoted somehow so i can somehow have a different exciting life. being an agent for the rest of my life sucks big time and call center is really not that good.

by the way i have managed to purchase the dvd-rw drive yesterday and i was too darn happy and excited but it did not really made my day. well, i have installed it and did some tests with it to check if it could detect and play dvds and especially if it could ready the disc that i have written some files that my typical cd-rw could not read. well it installed the software written on it but i could not copy it to my hdd. at least i have managed to install the software. anyway, i am just worried once my sister found out that i have a new drive in the computer. of course she would ask me how the hell did i buy that well i would tell her that i saved money and it made me save it for months. i don't have to worry about that. if ever he would go , i mean she would go hysterical again just like what had happened before well i would really berate at her. my next plan is to purchase a video card once i get my rice subsidy this month and hopefullly i will be regularized. if ever i would have to get that i'll immediately buy that shit, mwahahaha plus casing.

i was talking with cy about the application he has and so far there's no issue about blocking his application by TL. Then this Fish came by and cy congratulated him but i didn't. why would i congratulate him. you can say that i'm bitter but wht my reason behind that is, he cheated and all for that success so i don't really see that it is a success. do you know what i mean? hopefully someone in the workforce would found out that he's cheating while he's taking calls for now so that it would really stop his promotion, mwahahahahaha! hopefully someone is barging on his call and he released it and was caught by someone with a screen shot. that will be awesome. i just fucking hate him, because since he arrived, he's so noisy and all like he's grasping for an attention. he's so damn pathetic. anyway, good luck for you, wishing you all the best fish. i may not like you at all, but definitely i am happy for your success? i don't jknow.....

**sigh** ok what else could possibly go wrong to happen. well hopefully nothing would happen to me. i mean, nothing bad that would happen to me. well ron just messaged me and asking if i'm already here at work. i replied to him. what would he want again..... aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! well ron is actually here already. i have managed to talk with him about this issue and he's already going home. he had mentioned that he would go back to operations because there's no more soft skill training. he said that he will request for him to be transferred to fish's team. he said that it's show time. well good luck with that. i believe that it is not appropriate though he admitted that he is not scared to be terminated for anything that he will do. ok, good luck.

by the way earlier when i woke up have received rex's message that he's asking me to visit him later. i havent replied yet but i will tell him that i will visit him on monday if it'll be ok. i don't know whether mom would permit me. i just can't stand this feeling s i have in this fucking team. it really sucks big time. i feel like i'm lost and tormented and torn apart. i wish i could cry now. i wish i could scream and shout right now. well tl is building rapport with fish and all and they are so noisy that they wanted to make me feel bad and all about it. well just heard a lot of things about them. well all i can say is take care of your asses. i won't be the reason for your downfall, i'm just here to be subtle and just do my own freaking job. i'm not a kind of person who would drag anyone down unless you have done a grave mistake onto me. i won't allow that at all. these are totally a mistake. i hope i could be anything. i'm so dead tired of this all. i really would like to get outta this place. well so long dubai, i guess my sister already reconcilled with bo. hopefully she won't be like dorothy, our auntie.

well i have been receiving emails, congratulating fish and all. ha! what a pathetic born losers. they should only congratulate aries for it's honesty. i don't want to be arrogant just congratulating aries and sending it to all. anyway it's better to just sit back, relax and think of a better day.

so far i am receivnng nice and good customers. what could possibly go wrong?......

well as of the moment, tl and fish are having a coaching session for some shits. i can barely hear them and so i am annoyed like i could just kill them. you can really see it to his face that he is very excited and all. ha! let's see what will this new beginning result. my chest is compressing when i'm thinking about it that i can't breathe and think straight and be happy. well i do believe that they haven't won yet. it's just another beginning for him, mwahahahahaha! he'll find someone his own size.

o well i guess things will be better and i would find a better day.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

i'm ready promotion....dream on......

what a freaking day. well i did not sleep well last night for some reason. i believe there's something that will go wrong later. i may think that it regards with my friggin infraction again. o well come what may. for some reason, we still don't have our salaries yet. i just don't understand why this company fails to process that on time. they're so incompetent and irresponsible. they're going to get theirs. i hear a lot of reasons from them from these little birds and the first reason was that some people failed to pass their time sheet and also the second one is that there are no forms from them that they have received. one of the shift sups here checked it on the intranet and walah, they got the form indicating that they should give our salary on friday. now they're dead. palibhasa, they already have their salaries.

i have watched the last episode of encantadia and it's not that convincing. it's like the story or it's missing a part of the story. it's a very sad ending because one of their sisters died and so one kingdom was lead by it's daughter and was the caretaker of the gem. but at least it already ended.

i wonder how much will be my salary this cut off. please don't disappoint me for any discrepancies because of their incompetencies. too bad that i just saw 2 of ghoti's minions. well i really hate seeing them and it makes my day even worse. well yesterday i was so damn demotivated because of ghoti's application as a TL. o well better luck next time. until now my application is still pending i just hate it because they don't even inform me. so sad. i don't want to be an agent for the rest of my friggin life. it sucks big time. i just don't know what could possibly go wrong again today. i hope there are good news. i just can't wait to see that better days. well i think life is sad and cruel and it is here to stay but it's real life anyway.

i'll try my best and the best ever to make things better. if only my sister would snap oput of that BO person, then everything will be nice and comfy. lsat night she asked BO to come over to our house which pisses me off big time. of course they've spent time reconcilliating and shit, and hopefully she won't give that person the nth chance, it's not second, third and fourth chance but more than the 5th tchance. she's so inconsiderate. i would say that i am the one who is inconsiderate because i'm just thinking about myself and my career growth if ever she would marry bob, but i do believe it's not just me that would have a major change in life but also her family and son. that's not selfish i believe. please make up her mind and please make sure that my sister would just accept bob's offer and that make her think that it will be better and that the person is really nice and good and not just any ordinary man she has been with.

o well, it's 12minutes and counting before i log in. they said that it is queueing and i just funcking hate it. hopefully things will be light for all of us here at work and there's no pressure so we can live our lives good. what could possibly go wrong? i just can't relax. well some of my batch mates here are already promoted and i'm so darn happy for them. how i wish i could be like them. if it weren't for this ghoti and tl, things would have been lighter and easier for me. i am highly demotivated by them. they suck and theys hould deserve something cruel in return. so far the bitch and the fish are not around yet. hopefully they won't go to work today. so i can live my day peacefully. i just can't wait for may 5, because it is our regularization day and don't tell me that i will not be regularized or else i'm gonna have to go ballistic and freak out.

too bad, tl just arrived. arrgh! ok wait til i get another feedback. well i have managed to greet her and talk to her for quite a minute and then she went away. just to show that we're in good shape but definitely not. it's not being plastic and all, it's like i am just getting over things. so that she would not come up with any comments and feedback about my personality ust like what had happened before. right now i am hoping that fish will become a tl and so he has to leave the team so i can somehow dominate, i don't know. i am also happy because almost all of my batchmates here in this team are applying for L2 position so somehow i will be left here and i can dominate, mwahahahahahaha! i won't be evil like fish, it will be a friendly domination and not abusive just like fish.

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! i'm so pissed off, because fish is already promoted and i'm stuck here. i just don't understand the way i feel. i am happy for him and i'm mad and i just don't know why. i feel like i'm left behind and seriously i feel like i could just die. how fortunate these people are. i wanted to freak out now. i want to scream and shout until i exhausted all the pain and torments that i have inside with this situation. when will i be able to make it there. if ever i would become a workforce, i will be fucking happy and satisfied at least i don't have to take in calls for the rest of my fucking life. also i am hoping that my sister would take bob seriously now because it will be one of the success that we will have. i just don't understand why would she consider having bo back. he's not really that ok person and shwe won't get anything from that guy and it's a pain in the ass.

o well one more thing, 2 of his minions are also getting promoted as an l2 for the other account. what the fuck. i just can't understand why the hell win is selected, basically when it comes to his stats, he fails and he should not be selected and others deserve that position and not that brat. o well it only shows that i am incompatent since i don't get anything and my application up to now is still pending and i'm really sick of it.

by the way i am reading some articles here from what had gerald garcia sent me. it's an article for arrousal purposes. anyway, Marco once told me earlier that he is happy for fish's promotion because basically, the team now is quiet and peaceful. i even told him that i will tell him some things about what's going on and stuff. and also what i feel about fish's promotion. later on we will have a chit chat galore. alright.

well i have talked with jp regarding my inner feelings about the situation that has been going on in this messed up team and he told me that he does not even liked fish too ever since and he gave me some advises about things which i acknowledged. i also gave some benefit of the doubt about the whole nine yards. then while we were approaching the gas chamber i saw ron talking with ferdie and he went out and called me and i said wait a minute and stuff. then after smoking from the gas chamber i approached ferdie and ron already went home. ok fine and all he wanted to say was fish does not deserve it and all. well there's nothing we can do about it.......

it's a good thing that he, FISH, already promoted and will have it's own team and hopefully, he would experience the karmas when he finally have his own freaking team. i hope that all of his agents would drag him down to his downfall, mwahahahahahaha! too bad for him if that's the case but he deserve it anyway. well a never ending topic, i really hope that i will pass my interview for my application as an RTA so everything will be better and dandy and stuff. if that's the case well at least i have flown away from this messed up place.

Well i'm pretty much happy because at least i have built closeness with jp even more. at least i am comfortable in sharing my frustrations and all. i would really consider him as my good friend. hopefully everything will be just fine and dandy between me and him. i am also hoping that he has not forgotten my mp3 player, mwahahahahaahaha! o well, things will og my way sooner or later.

o well just heard that someone here already made a printout for our team logo and shit. i will not compete with that. it's just a shit that will never recognize you anyway for your job......

well i'll be going to buy me a dvd drive later before i go home. see you tomorrow....

Friday, April 28, 2006

what the hell is going on here?!!!!!

good morning. well i'm back to my old station and i just hate it. but tomorrow i will not be staying here in this crap station because i don't want to. i just decided to sit here for now because ghoti and tl are both sopending their rest days withw what ever they are doing well i just checked my schedule for nbext week and my offs are tuesday and wednesday. pretty cool at least it's not split. anyway, i wonder if ever i would have to buy that drive later on since i would have to go to a bank to pay something and i'm pretty sure that it would take time again because tellers there are pretty annoying and slow. i hope that my salary today will be reasonable. since we have a 3 day double pay last holy week. i have checked my atm earlier before i went upstairs and so far no salary yet. maybe later on it will be updated and i am so excited.

well by the way, i go another infraction by the order i have processed. i just freaking hate it. everytime i create an onsite order, i always have an infraction. the reason why i'm not being given a chance to be an fw. it's pissing me off. why do i have to experience such shit in my life. i have thought that i wanted to go to dubai now, if ever my sister would accept bob's offer. hopefully she would so i can just get the hell out of here. this is really not my forte. if ever i was only given a chance to become a programmer things would have been easier for me. i really can't work like this. it's really annoying that it's my fault for that order i did. i have mentioned it in my log that the game seemed to work before and now it's not and the requiremetn are met. then they'll return it to me? o well wait till i get to work tomorrow, i will be coached again about that and i'll be signing another memo and it would really fucking affect my score card and my promotion. this is really a fucking annoying instance. that's why when i or before i sleep, i have this worriness in mind that i might encounter another infraction, i don't know and so it happened. if only i could take my exam now for the application i made as an RTA. hopefully i will be promoted and absorbed so i would have a career change and does not have to worry much about talking to engots.

it's just the start of my day, and it's already, what a day! what a modafuki day. is there a way that i could just bang my head on the wall and bleed to death. that would be awesome i presume. well i tonly shows that this is not really the type of work that best fits me, well i have been you know, from 2 same jobs and now here and i don't know whether i would last here.

anyway, as a result, i got a stupid tawag, with an arrogant enngot. i just maintaine dmy self as a polite agent. o well, hopefully i would have to get outta here as soon as possible so that i can relax and just sleep all day to clear my mind from this things.

is it possible to have a new and different routine today like i don't have to worry much and all. i just freaking hate this scenario tht i am experiencing. this is too much and also i'm scared for tomorrow that tl would coach me regarding another infraction and all. this is too much. o well i just have to make sure this time now that things are in scope and stuff before processing any orders. making a cru, depoit and fulfillment order are pretty easy but onsite makes me sick. if only i could fina a way to cancell that and show it never happened so i will be safe and all.

i'm pretty tired of waiting, because i have been patient enough all my life. i'm hoping now that my sister would give it a chance to have bob and stuff. it will really change our lives and stuff. she's just worry about marrying him but i guess it will be a comfort for all of us and i do believe that that person is nice and good and also decent. i even told her that in love now or in life it's not appropriate to just use your heart, it is still a part of life but practicallity and brains are highly considered now. life is not easy but i guess easiness of life is being showed up to her to grab it and accept it. i do believe that she will be happy in the hands of that guy. if ever things would go wrong, i will be here as always for her and all of my sisters and parents. i won't ever abandon or forget them all. i will still be at their service.

too bad that our salary is not yet sent to our atms. based n what others say, it will be entered tomorrow. that's not right because it's in the labor code that it should be entered within working days. i just hate it and i'm late to pay my dues. it's relly irritating. aaaarrrrgggghhhh.


o well i guess things would be better someday. all i can do now is just to wait and be patient. o well untill tomorrow.

Monday, April 24, 2006

not too good

so darn annoyed, but good morning. well i had a good news yesterday, that i passed my qg3b and it's wonderful big time. i don't know whether if i will be coached later regarding that and if it is a good thing to know that i have passed qg3b. i don't know whether if it's a good result because i may think that they may say that i won't be regularized and stuff. that will be a very bad thing first of all. i'm pretty nervous and scared. i hope things are alright for me on this team and also for my career. basically when i finally got home few things hasd happened to me. i was humiliated when i was about to pass through the bridge that a lady kept havng a race with meand we've bumped at each other and so i dd not say sorry because it's her fault and so i moved on. then when i rode in the tricycle, the driver would want me to get in the vehicle sitting on the edge or i mean on the edge of the driver and this stupid old man, does not know what i'm going to do and kept blocking my way for me to take a seat. then eventually he realized that. and so it sucks bifg time.

then when i came home, nothing much happened it's like nothing really happened. it's too bad that i was not able to install the softwares i have copied from rex for the second time, so i have decided to just buy me a new disc and copy it there so i can install it in my computer. later on i will visit rex again and copy that darn software and make things better for me. i am experiencing problems in installing the software also that i have downloaded because it's not installing it properly and i don't know why. i have read the instructions and followed it appropriately and it seems like it's not installing it much. anyway, i will try to look for something to really crack that software.

i felt like i have been punk'd. i don't know why. i'm so irritated with what's been going on in here. i really would like to grow and reach that bliss. i don't know what's stopping me but surely it's myself. i'm pretty scared to take risks and all. i envy others because at least they take the risk to get what they want. unlike me, i always want to play safe, and i have realized that it's really killing me deep down inside of me. so as an action plan, i don't kknow.... i believe it's hard for me to change now because i'm old enough and that i am used with all the things i routinarily do. as of now, i am seeing a new agent being a floor walker and darn it, i'm from the higher batch and yet never been given a chance to do the follr walking for full time. so annoying and irritating. well i'm more knowledgeable than them of course. it's just that when you base it on stats well it's too bad. anyway, ius there anything else that i can do to change everything here. unless i own a company myself. darn it.

well i believe somehow it will be a good day for me because ghoti is not around as well as some of his minions and hopefully, tl would consider me a floorwalker now since i have passed my qg3b and meeting my aht. i do believe she won't because she does not like me at all and i really don't like her attitude anyway, she's seem so unfair as what otheres also say. why is this fucking happening to me. o well, i've been patient enough to handle things like this. o well hopefully i would be absorbed as a workforce, so at least i don't have to take in calls and also to have a career change and growth. i really, really hope that i will pass the interview i will undergo maybe later or on friday, i don't know since i will not be around on thursday and tuesday and wednessaday. it's already 4:53 am and counting and i really hope things will somehow change.

i forgot to tell my mom and sisters that i saw my cousin, jehn-jehn and it sucks big time that i have seen her. that bitch! well, anyway, i'm going to tell her that later on as i promise. so i just need to remember it later on. moving on, i hope that i will be able to buy that dvd writer after my shift so when i install it on my computer i will start to burn all the videos that i have copied.

So far no word yet from TL regarding my coaching session. o i just can't wait to know the detailed information coming from her.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! i just can't wait. i'm pretty impatient now. please coach me now and so that i will be happy for the moment.

Well guess what? marco was assigned to be the fw for the day. that's too unfair and too damn bad for me. now i'm pretty much torn by that. why can't i be the fw anymore. i have the top aht, and my QA is pretty convincing but not that good but i have passed the final QG and yet i won't be given a chance no more. that's bad. i would say it's unfair. is this what i get regarding the signs that i have witnessed myself, like the accidents and bad situations that's happening the same with the embarrassment? o well, i guess there's nothing i can do to change it. well i'm asking for a change and , walah, this is a change, marco is the fw. i'm really pissed off of this scenarios. i hope i could just die now at this very moment so everythings cool. exciting isn't it? what could possibly go wrong again later on? o well life is like a box of chocolate given to you by someone you hate, throw it away.

ok i just had my coaching session with tl and so far the only news that i got is, i've passed qg3b. that's it and i have to listen to my call that she had recorded. anyway, also she had mentioned about my workforce application and she said that she will have a mock interview with me about situations and stuff so that when i take the exam somehow i will pass it and for me to become an rta. well it's not that convincing after all so i don't really have to celebrate. what a bad day.

anyway, i have maanged to talk with gail since she's still around doing some work load that she did not finish earlier. she said that her shift is until 9. well we had few conversations and stuff regarding anything under the sun and we made fun of it and it's really enjoying. i really like her company and she's the kind of girl who really appreciates little things and it's very easy to mingle with her.

anyway we have a calibration today, right now, so i'll be seeing you on friday. ciao!

Sunday, April 23, 2006

unfortunately thankful.....

good morning! well guess what? when i bought one pack of cigarette jehn-jehn called me, it's my cousin, and so i was pretty darn pissed off. she kept asking me how we were and stuff. what the fuck is she doing here? well basically she's working at etel and too bad that i have to see her this time. she's a freaking shit hole you know. i reall y don't want to see all my cousins because they are pretty bad and plastic. so it made my day different and made me even more worried about things. i should have not pass through that place again in this kind of time . she's such a bitch! thankfully he saw some of her friends and so she have to leave. good thing. so i went ahead and hurried upstairs so i won't have to spend time with that friggin shit head.

anyway, earlier today, i was almost late again for some reason. well my phone did not wake me up and thankfully my sister is already up and so i was able to notice that it's already 2:15 am. so i hurried and ate my breakfast and hurried to prepare myself for work. now i'm here and did not made me worried much about being late again. that was close to being late if ever my sister was not able to wake up to go to work. sadly, i have noticed that we don't have enough agents here for sunday so i presume that it will be queueing again. hopefully floorwalking tasks will be given to me once again because i'm pretty pissed off of just taking in calls and it's really annoying. i wonder if i was able to pass my final qa result. because that's the final determination if i will be regularized or not. damn it please make me regularize this time so things will be muchly secured.

Last night i was not able to sleep because my sister's ex came by to reconcilliate somehow. i told my sister that she's grose but subconciously it's grose if ever she would reconcilliate with that lame prick. i just wanted to tell her that to open up her eyes wide. she's not gonna be successful with that asshole. as you can see this person is a college graduate and yet did not even manage to find a decent job for the course he finished. i really wanted to tell her that this time around it's practicality. in a sense that people like that is not good to have, and love is worthless if life is so darn sad and bad and that they're grasping to survive having a job just selling pritchon. that's absurd. i know that that guy is good and nice and all but it's not enough in times like this. it will be ok and alright if ever that person has a decent job and not that fortunate as long as there is room for growth for her and her son. i hope she would consider that. i don't want her to end up just like mom. like her son would work just for them to survive and all. it's really annoying and sad and don't let her son do stuff that she would not even imagine. of course it would just break her heart and all.

well i think bob would be the best perosn for her. it's not because that guy is fortunate and alll, but the person is also nice and fortunate and will really do anything for her and her family, and i do believe that's practical for now. i don't even care if it will never be for my growth. but i wuld have to consider the growth my our parents and her sisters. at least if ever that would happen, i can somehow maneouver my life and straighten it up and also for me to find myself. and also to know myself. it's not being selfish because id o believe if she would consider her ex, well that's selfish, what if they need something of course it will bother us all and bother our own lives. at least if ever she would consider bob then things will be lighter for all of us. i'm not the kind of person wo uses people with what they have. i'm not a user at all, never been a user. if ever i would be a user, things won't be like this for me. i won't be a so called loser and all. hopefully things would change between her and bob so that she would be a good and responsible mom for her child, since her child is growing up, she barely needs her son and most of all she is barely needed by her son or else, things will be worse.

honestly, i really like the offer from bob that i will be sent to dubai to be a programmer and that's a real career growth and personal growth for me. i do believe that i won't be having my own family as far as i can see now with my present. io don't want to live my life just providing food shelter and stuff for mom and my sister. i really would like to have y own life so i can find my self and know myself. i hope they would consider that. so now i'm down on my knees and hands shout on to the heavens on high, that my sister would be enlightened to make up her mind. i'm not forcing her to change her mind now but i would consider to give her time to make her mind but not to the point everything's too late.

also, i really don't want to be nostalgic, pathetic and a tearjerker prick all of my life. that change will barely change everything and everyone's life in the family i hope she knows that. also i hope she would consider that. too bad if ever she would not consider that.....

as of now i am just imagining and having these illussions that i would meet someone that would really change my whole damn life appropriately for career and personal growth. i kept on praying that i would be somehow promoted as an RTA so somehow i can move and stuff.

"Happy events will take place shortly in your home."

I just checked my fortune for today and it is posted above. hopefully that's true. how i wish....

by the way yesterday i took my vto and managesd to approach ron in his training class and i saw him but he's pretty much busy, and so i left and suddenly he went out and called me. well we had a small talk regarding fish and the bitch. from now on there's a new code name designated for him. GHOTI. as what ron told me. it's a conversion of the letters FISH F=GH i=O and SH=TI i just don't get it but i keep thinking about the logic of it for now. he explained it to me but i don't pretty much understood his explanation. anyway it's a good code name, GHOTI. mwahahahahahaha! i am thinking about a codename for TL. hmmmm, i don't know. would it be better if it's corrupt or something else? i don't know. anyway.


good news, i was able to avail a VTO for wednessday so i can have a 3 day off this week just to rest my freaking ass and mouth from these stupid enggots... finally, hopefully that it will still be open for the following week and forever, mwahahahahaha!.

grabe! queueing. it really made me tired big time. then the last enggot i have talked to is so rude and stupid. i was about to give enggot the case number and keeps questioning what's the use if i could not gelp enggot. so i explained it and i believe enggot has been embarrassed. that's the problem with enggot people...

anyway, it's almost 10:30 and i'm so excited to take my lunch so i can get the hell out of this messed up place.so far i haven't seen tl much. i have noticed that both of them are gone. so i presume they are taking their lunch at the same time, as always. that GHOTI! anyway, that's fine and hopefully this ghoti will be transferred to TCL so he will be having his training and will get a new team basically so i don't have to see him all the time and get pissed off. mwahahahahahahahaha! if ever that's true.

good news. i have passed my qg3b, yehey! you can't imagine how relieved i am now. first of all i wanted to thnak god for that and hopefully things will be good from now on. whew. what a relief. i'm so excited for my coaching session tomorrow. i'm still peculiar about it.finally things are ok now somehow.

Anyway, i'll see you tomorrow and on friday as i have taken my VTO for wednessday. CIAO!

Saturday, April 22, 2006

VTO?

well good day, first of all. i am designated againbecause this prick in front of me took my place and he is actually designated somewhere and i just don't understand why the hell he stole my place. what a freaking born loser. i kept seeing this person who has this great body and i'm kinda liking it to see that person. yummy..... anyway, going back to real world, it's so annoying that i am in another station and one thing for sure it did not updated my settings so i'm kinda lost here again with my logs. then i was able to see this fish head and it's freaking me out.

by the way rex messaged me and informing me to come over to his place and what comes in my mind is he's really a user. mwahahahaha! what a pathetic shit head me. if only i could do something to change my mind and just break free from all of this m,essed up fucked up place. is there anything good that could happene to me? it's been 23 years and so far nothing really happened good that satisfies me to live. who am i to blame, but of course myself. because of my ignorance, stupidity, patheticness and arrogance. i really deserve to die somehow, right now. so everything's dandy. i hope that i would get outta here as soon as possible so i can live my life in just a knock of time.

the way this person talk is too ...something that i couldn';t justdescribe but i like the body. if only i have the chance to caress it. mmmmm,.

anyway, fish and the bitch is here. so things will be too risky. i need to be aware of all of my actions and reactions or else things will go out of hand and could cause something that i could not hardly imagine. anyway, hopefully things will be brighter better and bigger. i see here that kelly is talking to tl and i don't care, pretty much. i can barely hear fish at the back of me and please get out of my life. i don't freaking need you and please get away from me.

well, when i went to work, i have managed to wait for my sister so we would be together to leave the house. i was unloaded at philcoa, and it really sucks big time because it's difficult than i thought to wait for a jeep there. darn it. then my next stop is Aurora and waited so long for another jeep and when finally this jeep arrived, i was not able to sit and just went ahead and hang on the edge of the jeep just to get to work. then 2 more guys went ahead and immitate me and so i was kind of hanging not with my body outside iof the vehicle but my position is like a dance troupe kind of thing which made me tired.

anyway, i am back to my original station and i'm loving it. anyway, we were not given a chance to somehow take a whole day VTO because tl is not telling us or informing us about it. what an iresonsible shit head. anyway, i guess she's just busy doing stuff and all and i just have to wait for those available VTOs next time. darn it.anyway, i had confirmed that i will have my VTO at 11 and so i will not take my lunch at 10:30 but i would take it after i have logged out so i will be paid with my 30 minutes.

o i just can't wait til 11 am so i can get the hell outta here. mwahahahahha! i don't know if ever i should take my lunch at 10:30 or just wait until 11 am... it's really confusing me. o well i guess i just have to take my lunch at 10:30 and then leave this fucked up pplace at 11 am. goodah!

ciao! see you tomorrow.

Friday, April 21, 2006

grabe-L sand.......

88sigh88 Another day, another shit another issues. well i left home at 3am and when i tried to lock the door from the inside, i have noticed a car in front of our house and i thought it was a panicing time for me. i have realized that it was my sister. so i have apologized because i just locked the door and so i tried to buzz the door bell to wake them up and open the door. my mom opened the door and my sister told me that her bf will unload me at the bus station, how thoughtful, anyway i have arrived here at 3:30 am very early for me. so i prepared my tools on another station, because my permanent station is taken and it pisses me off big time. anyway, i went ahead and grab a smoke and i just freaking hate what people in thesmoking room talks about. well i heard that this person is from wave 9 and yet he's a floor walker already, and duh, i am from wave 2 and never had any work attitude problems, but i was never give a chance to be a full time floor walker to another tem. i just hate it. it's so unfair and so irritating for me. then this person from wave 0 told me about that and also i have asked him if he is a floorwalker he said that he has not been an fw ever and still a full time agent. found out that he has problems with his attendance, so i told him in a subtle way that i understand if ever you are not being assigned as a floorwalker if you have attendance issues of course but i said that in my case i did not have any attendance issues and all and he told me that i have a good stats anyway and i should be an fw. he once said that he saw me already as a floorwalker. but i told him that for now, i am not designated as a floorwalker again because of some reason, like infractionsa nd stuff, but that was a long time ago. so i thought that it could be possible that tl is taking it personally to or for an agent to be an fw. i just freaking hate her. i forgot to tell him that our oic once had a bad stat but still given a chance to become a fw. too bad for a tearjerker like me. by the way todays friday and tl and fish are not around and so i can do whatever i would want, mwahahahahahaha! pretty good huh?

This guy i was talking with earlier in the gas chamnber to hang on there, and he said i am from wave 0. i told him that in your team there's no question about how their tl decides who will be the floorwalker because as far as i know almost all of the agents in their team are already a floorwalker to another team and also in team peter's team, all of their agents are now promoted and stuff, unlike me in this freaking annoying bastard team. no one is being designated as a florowalker to another team. so it really pisses me off big time and i just wanted to tell tl about it so she will be aware of it. i really believe that there is no career growth in this team and so i pray for me to be designated to another team and i don';t care if ever i should be an agent full time, as long as i have the opportunity to adjust and know where i will start and also to refresh my feelings about that new team. i'm also praying that hopefully i would be interviewed later on as an RTA and hopefully i will pass and absorbed so i would have to leave this messed up, fucked up team. one thing for sure is when i become a floorwalker, i mean RTA i will monitor this fucking fish...

this is actually too much to take and handle.... if only someone here is on my side if ever they would hear this stuff i have in my mind. they would agree with my comments, then i would have a gut to tell tl about this. i really can't determine if she's nice, good or a reasonable tl with what she's doing. these are the possible things for me now:
a: I would become an RTA
b:I would be designated to another team
c: she would be promoted
d: fish would resign or transferred to another team
e: she would be embarrassed with what she's actually doiung....

Those are the possible things that could happen to have a change in my life here at work. aaarrrgggggggggggghhhhhh! i just can't wait for them to disappear from my sight so i can live prosperously..... tangina talaga, the floorwalker that i am seeing now is actually from a lower batch and yet he is a fulltime floorwalker. damn it. i really fucking hate it. what tl's actions i mean action plans are not really reasonable at all.

i really need a major change now. if ever my sister would somehow give bob a chance, basically things will be bigger and brighter for my future. well , i guess there's nothing i can do to make her change her mind and i know she's not after this materials and crap, but hopefully she would somehow accept it and grab it for all of us. i know i'm thinking so much selfishly, but i won't deny that. if you could barely imagine how it'll change our lives, you won't ever worry much about things.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I hate my life!!!!!!! wwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

**sigh**

ok i'm alright, now....... please for one more chance help me and guide me and enlighten me........

by the way my dad replied on my email yesterday as per mom's request and my eldest sister's request to enlighten them up. ok fine..... please make this day, somehow convincing and good, so i can live my day and hopefully when i come home things are just dandy....i just hate it when i see lower batches are all fulltime floorwalkers and me i'm just a pathetic phone junkie agent.

well by the way i did something again that could cause something bad. i just went to break without informing the fw and i was ashamed and embarrassseed because the fw said tahat i should inform him first. ok i'm bad. sorry i will not do that again. i apologize for my incompetence and stabborness. shit! i found out that this person is really a strict person and he really deserve to be promoted with that attitude. in my persepective he's just new and a lower batch and yet he think that he's ahead of us. my goodness, i hate it but i'm sorry. i will try to be like that too. if i become a floorwalker and he did that i will inform him also to inform me first before doing stuff that needs to be saked first before executing that action. hmph! prick!

ok back to the real world what could possibly happene today? i'm not really certain about it and i really would like to have a change now. i just can't stand this torments that ihave in htis fucked up place. i wish i could live my life alone and conviniently. if only it is possible for me to have a wonderful life. i f only my sister would just go ahead and marry that guy, i could hardly imagnie how life will be convinient. i'm not a makapal mukha person to go ahead and say it directly to that guy that i wanted this and that. but somehow they would jsut approach me and aske me if i want to have this and that and i will really grab it. how i wish..... aaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh! i can't stand this confusion and botherness inside. i feel like if i could just die right now. please give me a sign that things will be ok and jsut dandy from now on. please!

anyway waiting for my rocket to come and waiting til my head spins around just to end the day. i just can't wait to come home and leave this place. it feel so dull and uncompfortable and i just freaking hate it whenever i am embarrassed or something. i hope that my sister would change her mind somehow. hopefully i will be interviewed by olive today and if not, then it will be on saturday or i believe monday. haaaay, so irritating no progress yet with my application.

anyway i had this conversation with jp,. a nice guy in the wave, well he told me stuff like what her wife has been doing in regards to cci, you know what that is. they were able to get gadgets online and stuff for free and i have asked jp to order one for me in a joking manner but he proposed that he will try to get one and stuff, for me, how nice. i believe that he really appreciates me and all since i'm the only person who barely understands him and spoent time with him here and i do believe that he is enjoying my company. i really appreciates that big time. hopefully they would order one for me so i can be happy for once, mwahahahaha!

anyway nothing much to discuss for now, so maybe see you later.... ciao!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

lesson.....

ok, so much things had happened. well basically last monday night, after mom and my sis went to have a dinner with this foreigner, they've shared good stuff and good things that will change our lives which i really appreciate but i'm not expecting much and giving in to it that much. because i know myself.... if i give in much to that situation well if ever it did not happened it will lead to my suffering and dejhection.... what a loser.... then last night my sister went ahead and met that guy to fix her papers to be brought somewhere but this guy is so immature that he's trying to get what is really impossible from my sister. well so a sudden change of plan. i don't know and i'm not sure and i don't want to conclude more about it. moving on, when i arrived here at work, i have received 37 emails and read them all. well sadly, i'm not a floorwalker anymore for this week and it sucks big time. well it did not pissed me off totally that i would go back to what i have been feeling.... i don't want to make things worse again. anyway as long as tomorrow will be my day off again, that's much better. one more thing my mom give or gave me a letter from a company regarding my dues and all and it pisses me off big time. i just don't know what i would have done and do and i'm pretty much annoyed about it. anyway come what may. i am also looking forward for a friend to somehow, CONTACT me if ever this is a good day for me to come over to his plaace. anyway, somehow i would experience something different today that would arrouse my happiness and smoothness of my day. i don't know what could possibly go wrong. as long as being not an fw for the week is good to know that it is the possible thing that went wrong. hopefully, later when i come home things are different. i hope things wil be brighter this time. **sigh** i'm so annoying with what i'm trying to feel now....

right now i'm on a different station again because these pricks took our station again and again and again and it's really annoying big time. but there's nothing i can do about it. i hope that i would be promoted as a workforce so somehow i have a different career path and also to avoid these stupid calls and taking in calls. i don't know whether i should be happy and just alright but these feelings are killing me. by the way while i was on my way to work, i see and i saw car accident again and my gosh what could possibly go wrong again... hopefully ti won't affect my day today and my succeeding days.

by the way my mom told me about the foreigners plan for me, that i would be sent to dubai as a programmer. ok i dd not give in to that much because i know it's just another hoax, somehow, what i mean is it won't be fulfilled. .we're scattered again all over the floor. i don't know until when will we be this way..... well as of the moment this agent is looking at me wondering what i'm doing. i looked at him and just continued with what i am darn doing.... a team mate of mine asked me a favor to call 7086 just to test if it's working and definitely it is coz i can hear him and he can hear me. fine! now what?!! is there anything else that could possibly go wrong again.... what would be the karma and all for this? i just can't stop thinking about it and i'm really pissed off and irritated and eventually annoyed.

in my tl's email i have seen our qa evals and i was a bit nervous looking at mine, well it was pretty convincing somehow but finally i still don't have my finally qa and i'm wondering what would be my average and hopefully i pass..... something just came into my mind while i said that last statement. well i thought what if i passed the quality gates and yet i'm not regularized because of something, that's pretty bad, right? hmmmmmm, that would be possible but i'm not giving in to that for now and let's just wait until may 5 before we conclude that.... ok so i have 3 minutes left and counting before i log in. crap! i have to wait for 8 hours before i can leave this fucked up place.....

So far my calls are good and dandy and i'm thinking of going home, now! i am planning to inform tl about the log i just did but unfortuanately i was not seeing her as of the moment. i don't know whether if they are having a meeting or whatever crap.... so far i have been seeing people who has this great body and all ican say is wow! . they don't look really good but as long as the body's great, that's a hell yeah! i'm considering of fantasizing them, mwahahahaha! for the moment i am kind of sex maniac here in this blog. anyway moving on, i am taking my break and i still have 4 minutes and counting.

finally i was able to show tl abpout the logo that i did. she was abolut to say something about it but i suddenly received a call. so later on i would hear something from her about the logo that i did. i think she does not like it. o well that's fine at least i have tried and took a risk about it.at least i have the guts now that i am really making something for the team. of course i would have to consider that i'm still playing their game, mwahahahaha.

o well i kept on thinking about whatever happened to that good thing.... i just can't stand this queasiness. i just don't know why i mingle with these immature fish and his minions, but anyway, i just remembered that i am playing their game. anyway, i still can feel that they don't feel ok about me, and so am i. i feel like they're just pretending on how they approach me. well i don't care. as long as i can deal with them now just to survive then that's better.

when i went on bio break, i went to the rest room to take a pee. i have noticed something with the sun, shining so differently, i don't know if it's just me or it's just an odd day.... i don't know, hopefully things would change and somehow show some new changes. i'm still hoping that rex would somehow message me for me to visit him today. but i have a strong feeling that he won't because the last time i talke to him over the phone, he is pretty busy for today. he just asked me to visit him on thursday, but i think that i won't be able to visit him because i'm pretty concious with my budget now. anyway, what else could possibly go wrong...

Well i saw one of our team mates on the floor walking around. he is from a lower batch. i thought and i observed if he is a florwalker for a different team. so i said to myself, what's the meaning..... why would he be the floor walker iof i should have been that, if that's the case. that's unfairness gradually. well then i just observed that he is asking somehting from a friend maybe about something. ok what a relief. that's bad if that will happen. don't give me things like that or it would cause dejection and hatred.

it's really so unbelievable about what had fish had now in this company. well, i don't think so he desrve to be you know the monkey. well litereally he is a monkey but what i mean is the right hand of the tl. hopefully his migration to US would be given to him now so he would resign and leave the company so that everything would be definitely happy and fun. ain't that cute.

Well tl just told me someting about what had happened last time regarding the email. someone here did not liked what they tripped on him like sending an email to all that he is admiting something. it offended him big time. in the first place i thought something bad that i did took place. well what a relief it's just something that she wanted share. well first of all i know people here are bastards but not tho the extent that you would access someone's email and pretending that the owner said that admiting that he is inlove with someone. i once told them taht it's really offending and the grounds for that is fraud. they could be terminated with that. anyway good luck with them and hopefully it's a lesson to be learned. one thing also is never assume things that they thought it was ok with that person and all. never assume things or elsethings will get worse. i just hope that they would somehow realize that. if you're going to kid around make sure that you're not doing a grave mistake and all. you're already kidding around and so you're a bastard in that way somehow, so don't do anything more than that.

let me guess.... is there anything that could possibly go wrong here? o well, it would show anyway.....

hopefully tl would rate my recording now so i would know if i would extend or what. i just can't wait for that. if ever i become regularized here, keber! i woud do things my own way... hopefully it's not queueing when i log back in, basically i am taking my lunch now and i have 7 minutes left and counting. time flies so fast and it's making me worry. i feel like i'm running out of time. anyway, whatever life is just a ride, sometimes you're up sometimes you're down and the difference is there's no getting off. you really have to know how to play the cards so you can survive.

o well so far there are no updates yet, but i will inform you probably on friday. ciao romano!

Monday, April 17, 2006

whatever....

Hi i'm freaking back.... well so far there are no issues with me at work and at home. what i mean is, after the accident that i have witnessed myself and close to that accident, i was able to experience a just dandy day. for now i'm thinking that i may be encountering something bad. i just don't know. basically i am a bit ok today and hopefully things are smooth. well i have met mikey, one of my batchmates, he once asked about FISH. first of all he asked who is the oic in the team, and i said it's fish. he has this response like, "mataas at maganda pala ang stats ni fish". i wanted to ask him what abut it. but lawrence is beside me and i don't want him to know about that because he might tell that to fish and all and the issue may explode once again just like an active volcano.

Anyway i am now here at another station because someone is using my station and i just freaking hate it. then i met some new people, the name is joey from ambergris. well i have volunteered to help him through out his call if he needs it. he said that he still having problems with siebel. that is not a problem i can always help. anyway, another incident took place, their tl thought that i am also in their tl's team and tapped me on my back regarding the log in time, but soon realized that i am not one of his team members.

later on when this jerk, sitting at my station left, i will transfer there so i could properly do things that i want. In this station i could not browse and all because my computer is facing towards the operations aso everyone can see what i'm doing.

Still waiting for a call and i just don't know what kind of call i will get. hopefully there are no assholes and bitches that i would get for today and forever.

well i have been coached earlier and i did my part like joking around and also talking with fish, he looks like he's not in a good mood at all to reconciliate except that he's plastic just to say that tl sees him trying to reconciliate with me...well what can i say? i can say is that's bullshit and i will never fall on that, ever.... if they are playing the game, so am i.... i know exactly how things will work and turn out. i will have to be careful and also aware of their hidden agendas for me. coz i do too....... mwahahahaha!


Well there was an incident while i was having a feedback with my call. basically fish is giving out his biscuit to marco and i told him that it is a very delicious biscuit and i like it. so he gave it to me. i'm not asking for it but he suddenly asked me if i want it. so i took it. then tl was amazed because i was able to have this way of getting somehting in a subtle way of not literally begging for it. so tl ..... i'll just continue this on wednesday gotta go....

Sunday, April 16, 2006

ain't it cute huh?

"You have never been particularly immature, but lately you've been noticing a certain shift in yourself. This change could really crystallize when you see yourself behaving in an unfamiliar way in a familiar situation. Maybe you're calmer. Maybe you don't take things as personally. Maybe you stay objective. Maybe you're seeing what it's like to really be a grownup."

Welli have read my horoscope for the day and somehow it tells something about what i am for now. basically, something bad happened to me on my way to work. well while i was in the vehicle a sudden bang on 2 vehicles take place. tto be specific, a bus and a taxi bumped at each other, a big bang that caused the bus to have a big damage on the front right of the bus near the tires. so it skid and it almost hits the jeep that i'm in. i was shocked because people in the bus screamed . i was not able to scream because it's really sudden as you can imagine. i said to myself, ok i'm prepared whatever happeneds. it was really scary. thankfully it did not hit the jeep i'm riding. after that scenario i was pretty shocked and wondering what could possibly go wrong again to me. i should be aware of all my actions at all times from now on. i once said to myself that i would accept if ever i will have an extension with my QG3B but not more than that, and also hopefully things will be dandy when i come home. hopefully there will be no issues or problems that could take place or it will cause me much sorrow.

i was pretty happy last night when i came home because my sister had a good news about a foreigner wanted to marry her and all. so it will be a convinience for me and for all of us somehow. but of course it will be greatly convinient for her and her son. so i could not sleep properly because of the excitement that i could forsee. then suddenly this accident just happened today when i was on my way to work. i do believe that it is a message for me from GODS that i need to do something appropriate today for him. i also thought that it could be a message to stop what i am doing here at work like playing their game. i'm not really playing their game. i just wanted to get over things already so everything will be just fine and dandy. i'm not really sure. how can i really prove that? so i pray that GOD would somehow enlighten me with something or someone that would really indicate what i should change. or i really do need to find that out myself. i'm really bothered as you can see now. it's really annoying and irritating that i could not think straight. by the way i am the floorwalker for today for the first 4 hours. so i don't have to worry much about my login time for the moment. hopefully it will not be queueing so i don't have to take in calls while i am in the schedule of FW.

What a day. i can't imagine i would say tis first daty in the morning or start of the day. this is really getting unlikely. **sigh**


anyway, i am the fw for the day and got a good experience somehow but i'm still expecting and somehow expecting something bad could happen to me. anyway after my fw, tl coached me and provided me with positive feedback about my floorwalking day. some agents here or team mates provided positive feedback about me being a floorwalker and stuff. also they're hoping that i would be this way forever or shall i say consistently. how i wish! so don't give me a reason not ot..... well tl asked if i was being plastic about the way i have changed. well i told her that i'm not plastic and that i'm just getting over the situation and also told her the reason why i'm so quiet is because i'm trying to somehow put myself in the right time in mingling with these nonsense immature people.... i don't know whether if i should laugh now... i once said that i'm going to play their game. well i don't think so that there are no any game when tl coached me today. i believe it is still on going. i don't have to change my thiniking about what's going on here. i do believe that they are testing me and also getting and capturing my weakness. well basically tl had noticed that after our coaching before that i am calling her by her name and not tl, i kept on calling her tl from that day because she already mentioned about that so subconciously that's what she really wanted. also i have heard a good feedback that i was a great floorwalker because when they raise hand to ask something to me, i immediately approach them and help them. so it's really a good thing. but i still do believe that the game is still on....

anyway, if ever i'm wrong with what i have been thinking all along, well i desrve something to happen, but if ever i'm not, and i have proven it, well at least i am and i have a clean concscience. It's really a good feeling that i received good feedback within the team, and that's keeewl..... i still do have the feeling that tl is playing games with me, i still can recall what she did to me last monday about the unusual phone activities..... i should have asked her about that. i should have open that to her at least, she knows that i am aware about the unusual ohone activities which FISH does as well as his minions.

Well so far i have noticed within this week i was able to somehow refrain myself from being nostalgic, tearjerky and pathetic. i don't know whether if i would have to encounter some problems later on when i come home or during my way to home. anyway, hopefully i would be aware of that later on and hopefully things will be smooth. so please help me! Tomorrow willl be my last day for the week and i'll be taking my off again on tuesday then be back on wednesaday and it will be my rest day again. i just can't take this anymore. things are routinary and it's really pissing me off.well, what could possibly go wrong again?

o well too bad that usb flash drives here are disabled. darn it. but anyway good luck for next time.... ciao!

Saturday, April 15, 2006

what's the meaning? :)

Hi there. It's Black Saturday. I forgot to post my journal yesterday so i have posted that just now. Well, i have talked to Kaye, Ron's friend, I was able to burst out what i felt with the team to her and she agreed that it's so unfair for me about what is happening. i shared to her what had happened last monday about a sudden change of status, or shall i say unusual phone activities. I told her that, that incident is ok with me. what really bothers me is tl lied about an RTA once told her about my sudden change of status. She's the one who caught that thing, but she denied it. now i'm pretty much scared because i feel like they are making some ways for my downfall. that's too bad. so i'm really wishing that i will be transferred to another team and also i woud be somehow absorbed as n RTA. Hopefully things will change around here. i'm really scared that i would have to loose my job again. I can't afford to transfer to another coompany because of these people. especially today, fish and the bitch will be around so i really need to be careful at all times and i need to be aware of all the actions that i have or that i will do today or else they'll find a whole in me to bring me down. now, i can say that she's plastic and an asshole. she had become what fish had become. now i really do need to play their cards or their game to survive.

Hopefully, it's 2pm so i can get outta here. i'm fed up with seeing those people around here. it's really annoying and irritating.

Now he is around he is playing and being BIBO! like he is so excited that he does not have to take calls again..... i thought the bitch declared that they will take in calls until tomorrow to improve their stats. well i guess those are just for a show. yeah, i just realized she's plastic. is she around anyway? i haven't noticed her. let me check.She's not around. well i guess it's her off, firday and saturday, which is actually good. at least i don't have to see her for 3 days. Hopefully, FISH would resign now, as of the moment because he will go to america as well as his family so i could breathe. as long as he is here, things are worse. well i guess i'm wrong. basically the bitch had arrived. so devastating. anyway i just need to play the game. so i'm ready.

anyway hopefully things will be smooth for today, i hope there are no problems or even another notice to explain crap. i'm pretty paranoid now, because of that. yeah because i am guilty that i am being monitored every minute of my time here at work because of FISH and BITCH! well good luck with them. i'm just hoping that i will be interviewed ASAP as an RTA and somehow absorb me as a trainee so i can get the hell out of here, in this messed up team. pretty much i don't know where to position myself. i'm paranoid that every little thing or action i do is bad that i will be given another notice to explain crap. if ever i would have to transfer i will always try to be subtle and nice to peole and i won't act like this to anyone. as long as i am doing my job properly i believe that's enough.

Well i was talking to fish's minions and i feel the sincerity in him unlike fish itself. hopefully he's not into fish's and bitch's game. i'm not really sure about that but i would somehow play the game. i just have to ride with it.

so far somehow things are smooth.... i feel good today. by the way tl asked me if i wanted to go home today voluntarily as what the shift sups are asking for today. most probably because they or the company does not have enough money to pay us. i'm in doubt right now regarding this company. basically because why won't day allow OTs and also now they are asking employees to go home. pretty odd and weird ei. are they immitating ETEL regarding this situation. that's too bad actually. hopefully the company won't have to close down because of that because we weill loose our job and so i have to find another job. well i think it won't happen because the company is plannning to have 10 more accounts for the company.

guess what i am already included in their spam galore as one of my plans also just to catch their stinking attitudes....well, it is a good feeling that somehow some of them are replying on my message. until now we're having this non sense conversations but that's alright i can ridee with it.

by the way tl informed me about my recording and she is evaluating it now and she will coach me later on about that or probably tomorrow, i dono't know. i'm pretty scared and all because i'm wondering if it is a failing mark. i'm so scared.. anyway i just have to end this now, i ight forget to post this again just what had happened yesterday.
Ciao!

The FISH and the BITCH

Hi there....Anyway i'm at a different station for today, because a bastard had taken my place for some reason. i just don't understand why they are taking someone else's place if there's a lot of station they can take in the ops. so annoying, how i wish they could just die. anyway, today is GOOD FRISDAY here.

Anyway, so far i'm pretty happy for what has been going on in my life. i don't know hwy. hopefully, things will be better from now on so that i won't go hysterical again with my own freaking pathetic life. good thing that fish and tl are both not around, well maybe they are having ..... just kidding. basically both of them are spending their rest day and unfortuanelty they'll be here and sick of it. well, so far i had 2 great calls for now and i'm freaking hoping that all of my calls for today will be good. so i pray..... i don't know what had happened with my application. did they dispose that because they don't find it convincing and all. why don't they just tell me so i won't be expecting anything. i would just have to wait for me to become a floor walker to another team and hopefully this motherfucker would recommend me.

it will be better if he or she recommend fish so i won't have to see him every friggin day. it's irritating you know.... it's ho;y week and so my problem now is how the hell will i get home later. would there be any pubs available....

I am also happy because i already have 2k in my pocket and waiting for the 30th so i can buy that dvdrw so i can burn my movies and stuff and experience having that device. how exciting but till when will it last. what i mean is the excitement.


"You've accomplished a whole lot recently in your own emotional growth. You've made big strides in understanding and acceptance. You know more about your feelings than you used to. You like yourself more. This is wonderful stuff, and it's not surprising that your friends are turning to you for advice. Give them any tips you can, but don't forget that everybody has to be responsible for their own emotional growth."

"You are indeed a secret genius!"

Well i jsut checked my horoscope and fortune for today. Well i believe that is tru. mainly, because of the feeling i have now that i think i have break free. i don't know.... maybe i'm wrong....

I just hate ATOY very much. I really hate his personality, because he's so arrogant and aggressive. he is so unfair. it's like when he is the fw, he has the confidence to somehow be arrogant to approach me. He would inform you about your aht and how long you have been in the call and yet when i am the floorwalker he is so arrogant too. he won't talk to me and even tell me how was the call. he's so arrogant that's why i really don't like to approach him. i believe he's boastful. I have an idea. if i will become the fw on sunday, i'll never be afraid and i will really have to embarrass him if i have to. no more mr. nice guy. he'll get a piece of me, mwahahahahaha! I f ever he'll take revenge, i don't care as long as i get even. anyway, he has a high aht and low qa, so i guess he does bnot deserve to be the fw, just like me, i got a low CSAT that bitch gave me one day to be the fw that made me feel so bad and sad that eventually makes me mad and never glad.

Anyway, i just don't understand why the hell this bithch did not assigned me on friday. she prefers these 2 mongoloids. I believe i am more confident and competent than them. i have better stats than them ad they suck! o well, that's what you call unfdairness. Ron told me las t time that jajay had told him that precious borja is unfair and focuses more on fish and not willie, as i can barely see. hopefully fish would find somebody his own size, so i can laugh at him, mwahahahahahaha! if only i have the guts to kill him now, then i would have done that ever since the day he messed me up.

I really would like to go to another team. I don't care if i should take calls full time, as long as i am not psychologically bothered and disturbed with thesse kind s fo hsit heads. o well it's a nice day today and i'm loving it extraordinarily. what a loser!

anyway, finally i managed to tell cy what had happened to me last monday about the unusual phone avtivities notice to explain crap that i got. well i have told him that i did not deserve it, and someone else deserves it. i even told him that when i was a floorwalker, i used to catch the suspect but i did not tell him who that is, well of course i'm not a hundred percent sure about that person., cy, maybe he's just subtle but definitely a traitor....

anyway, what else could possibly go wrong with me? i'm pretty worried about my standing here, meaning my situation here in this team. i don't know whether tl and fish are both plannning something against me or what.... i am actually trying to change my relationship to them that as much as possible i don't want to have any conflicts no more with them. they would really find a way for my downfall.....

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

another story about my sad life.....

hello, i'm back again. well definitely it will be a good day forme since tomorrow will be my off again. unfortunately, things could go wrong again. if you may ask, what had happened last monday after i have posted my blog. well sad to say, i was again given another notice to explain shit! mainly because of an unusual phone activity. ok let me tell you the damn story. Well, around 1:27pm someone called me on my phone. so as we know if somebody called you up, you called somebody or whatever your status will change on ccpulse. it's common sense. so tl, freaking asked me to go on feedback. i was wondering what the hell was that about? then i saw a letter, it says "Notice to EXPLAIN". ok first thing that came to my mind was my tardiness that they don't find it reasonable so i need to have more explaining to do. then i saw some statements there that it is all about an unusual ohine activity.....ok i was scared because i thought they caught me doing something which i'm not capable of using the phone. tl said to me that an RTA once called her and asked why my status suddenly changed. so they need some explanation from me. somehow, it gave me confidence that my concious is clear and that i have a valid explanation. the reason behind that was ferdie rang my phone and that was the time i was sitting back with my eyes closed. I checked my phone and i thought i got a call, but on the caller id it states that it's the shift supervisor, or an RTA is calling me up/. so i said hello, then the RTA hangup. i thought my phone was in ACW/Wrap up, but it was in AVAIL/Auto IN. so i was wondering why the hell they called me up. the RTA who called me up was ferdie. so i looked at him and he finally looked at me and apologized because he dialed the wrong number. i admit that maybe because he thought i was sleeping so it's really my fault so i apologized too and sincere that i know it is not right to sleep during working hours. Then the coaching session/feedback took place. after the coaching session, i have managed to wait for a call again and logged out eventually at 2pm. I approached ferdie and asked him if he is the only RTA in the ops area. he said that he is the only one who is monitoring agents. ok then suddenly, it flashed in my mind that tl lied. she said that an RTA called her up asking about my sudden change of status. I managed to connect it that she is the one who is also monitoring agents. so i therefore conclude that she's looking for my or looking forward for my downfall. THAT BITCH!!! Then finally she had proven that it would really change agents status once somebody called you or you called someone. i know she is in deep embarrassment. it's actually good, because at least somehow she managed to take risk but she lied and she deserve something. All i'm thinking now is that there's always a divine justice. it's just very sad, that i know people here in the team who does that and i was the one who was caught but definietly did not do such thing because i believe that i am matured enough and professional enough to know what's wrong and right with work ethics. what a sad life, what can i say is shit happeneds.......

After my shift, i went straight to rex's house and there we have managed to build our friendship stronger and shared different news and experiences. while we were downloading and installing stuff. he also invited me to eat at chowking. we ate halo-halo. actually i pity him because she was the only one who's left in the house. at least his family has a full trust on him being the man in the house for himself. unlike me....moving on, i went home around 9pm coz i feel like rex did not have enough sleep coz that was monday and also he told me that he did not have enough sleep, so i was pretty damrn shy about my presence there, thinking and pretty much paranoid that i am unwanted there which he could not tell it to my face because it is uncourteous enough. well for me that's fine if you would tell me that i'm unwanted for now, i would greatly understand that and it will not be a big deal for me unless you have given me a reason not to.

Ok next day, woke up and did some things. did some cleaning in the house which made a conflict again between me, mom and ditchie. ditchie and i fought again yesterday. it's a very long shit story and i don't want to indicate it here no more, because it's stupid and it's embarrassing. if it weeren't for my ignorance, selfishness, ego and stupidity and incompetence things would have been good, dandy, great and fun. unfortuantely, it's not. so i'm blaming myself for that. no one else to blame but my freaking self. then that night, mom and ditchie went somewhere to buy something and stuff. so i went ahead and play around with my computer install stuff from the disc that i have copied from rex but unfortuanately the disc is unreadable. i called him up when he messaged me using ym about the crack stuff. So i've asked him if it's ok for me to go there tomorrow to re-copy the sw that i had copied from him because it's unreadable in my pc. he said that i can go there since he's alone in the house. i was not able to ask permission from mom basically because hshe would not allow me since i just went there last monday. crap.

Finally, Now here at work, i went to the gas chamber and smoked few sticks and was able to talk with new agents and asked me about the experiences and stuff that i had here and also at my previous job. Then good thing it had ended. so i was alone in there when finally new people came in, then finished my last smoke and went out. i saw gail, the tl here, and talked to her about stuff and all and finally shared to her what happened to me last monday about this NOTICE TO EXPLAIN bull shit! she seem empathetic and gave me confidence that it's is alright and all. then after a few minutes people approached her and keeps on interrupting our bonding moment ekek, so i have decided to leave. So i started this journal of my freaking pathetic life, when finally i saw this BITCH. moments later i had raised my hand for her to see me and asked her if i can go on bio. she allowed me then, in tagalog, INIRAPAN nya ako. So i said, what's the problem? i have realized that it is morning here so maybe she's still not in the mood and all. i tried to ask her how she was, then again, i saw another NOTICE TO EXPLAIN on her desk. so i'm prettymuch paranoid again that i think that's mine. another freaking explanation to do about some scenarios and shit! well, what's their purpose and plans for me now. is it also on one of their hidden agenda, action plans for me, to be terrminated somehow. This time, i need to be careful with my job. i should always be aware that i am being monitored all the time just to find something bad in me to be terminated. too bad for me. o well, i have realized, just in case i have to have another job, i should have a low profile just like others here. i should be subtle and quiet. I also thought to stay at the back of the room during training and also keep my mouth shut. even if i know the answers to the questions being asked by the trainer unless i am asked. i would also never ever mingle with them much but i would have to go to their tbs and i just need to have a very very low profile. if ever i should experience what FISH did to me, then i just have to let go and just keep it inside of me and find some way to bring that person down. What a beautiful life, could it be any better.

I don't freaking know if i am still audited because earlier i have noticed that my clock is not working so i know that signs means that you are being audited, and recorded. so somehow i have tred my best to do good with my call. i'm not expecting an A on the rating but B+ will do. Anyway, as i tried to glance tl's shadow from my station, i ddi not saw her but our fw, then i saw fish and i'm wondering why the hell is he doing an fw shit, since tl said that he will take in calls the whole day. that's pretty bad....... that lucky FISH. o well, that's life or reali life anyway.

Is there a way that i could be more good and more wise. i wish i could feel peace and harmony in my life. i hope that someday things would be simple.

I was just wondering. I am seeing floorwalkers here, which are in lower waves. how come they are now floorwalkers and designated to another team to be the full time floorwalker? yet in this team none has been given a chance to be transferred to another team to be a floor walker. i believe i deserve to be one and also fish. i just can't believe this devastating tl is so unpredictable and confusing with the statements she is telling us regarding those programs that each week new waves are coming in and needs a lot of floorwalkers and she will have to recommend one. i don't know if she has to recommend me. that shit head. so selfish and egoistic. so afraid and paranoid that i would say something bad aginast her. well i won't and i'm not that kind of person. well one word to describe her is she's a bitch! yes i am so insecure about those lower waves floorwalkers. basically it should be by seniority because we are more knowledgeable than them. those assholes. o well, i just have to wait anyway, that's all i can do. nmothing more, nothing less. i wanted to be transferred to another team or to another department, so that i wont have to worry about my work, basically i have proven that tl and fish and his minions are planning for my downfall. i won't allow them and i just have to be careful with what ia m doing here or else, things will be devastating that could lead to my death, suicidal..... anyway, i would just have to pray that things will be good and bright and that i am so cool enough that pepole would like me, love me and want me and need me. when will i ever be like that? o well, dejection and rejection is my name.

who can save me from this messed up place? what a pathetic born loser. Someday, Somehow, I'm gonna make it alright but not right now.......So help me GOD.

Well i am doing this floor walking hting and woindering about things. well i saw ron and he treat me for lunch as he requested. so we talked about what had happened to me and all. it's a long story perhaps i would tell that story when i come back from my rest day. i'm not in the mood to indicate that here. anyway. i'll have to do my job now so see you on friday. ciao!

Monday, April 10, 2006

hooooooooooray!

It's been days since i have created a new journal. the last journal that i have created was april 5. unfortunately i was not able to post it because, these stupid IT people blocked it for some reason. The good thing is, i have discovered a new or i mean a proxy. so now, i'm going to post new journals and stuff. hopefully it won't be cascaded through IT, about the proxy that was given to me.

well basically, a lot of things had happened to me for the past few days. i'm going to start with the day yesterday. Well, unfortuantely for the first time ever, i was late, i have arrived 6:35 am and it sucks big time. i was able to contact tl but she's not answering the phone for some reason. so she gave me a letter for explanation. as i have read it, it's not a written warning or something. i thought this will be the start of my down fall. so i took calls for about 3 hours approximately. then she reminded me that it's already 9 am and i will do the fw. it was so exciting because at least i don't have to take calls until the shift ends. too bad i have to be a floorwalker every sunday only. for some reason. i just freaking hate it. while i was doing a floor walk i was asked to help the queue so i took calls. but the worst thing is that fish was not asked to take in calls. how about that? our original or full time floor walker took calls but he himself did not do a floorwalking so he should take calls, right? but what a lucky stinking fish, he was not asked to take in calls. un fair isn't it. well theres nothing i can do about it but it shows subjections. after a few calls, i was again asked to do a floorwalk, so i went ahead and do the floor walking shits, basically because they will have a coaching session, to gether with the full time fw and fish and an agent, which is sih's minions. it was exciting and joyful, at least i was able to break free from the torments of taking in calls. it's all good. so, now, i will have to take in calls full time because i don't have the schedule to do floor walking. tl will have a training later from 9am to 5pm and i have to sign and compose this letter of explanation why i was late and all. ok i have finished the first copy, now i'll have to copy it to the second copy of that freaking letter.

well last friday nothing much had happened and of course same thing, fish and tl having great time and stuff. then last saturday, i was shocked, around 1:22pm on my oc's clock time, ron came to me and approached me and asked things and told me stuff what had happened to him. of course at the back of his mind he wanted to boast what he is experiencing now, like he's a trainer and he has his own laptop and stuff. i did not pretend, i would consider it not a pretention from talking to him. i just wanted to get over things to make me feel alriight. so for his sake i tried to stay for quite a while and stuff. talked about what had happened in the team and all the agendas and whatever you may call it. before all that happened i have managed to message rex, a friend, because i visit him every saturday but he never replied, good thing i was not able to just go in his house, because he's not around. he went some place which i don't know. i called him last night to think and ask if he'll be available today in the afternoon. so he said yes and i can come to his house after my shift. but i have a strong feeling that he's not really expecting me to come because he's already fed up and i think that he thinks i'm just using him for some of his resources. well i would say it's half true and half not true. o well i guess there's nothing i can do if that is what he is feeling and all.

tomorrow will be my off and on wednesaday i'm back and thursday i'll be taking my off again, i mean spending my day off again. there's a big change with my schedule so it's pretty new for me now but i'm liking it.

based on my analysis, the reason why i was late yesterday, is because, i think, i was so happy last saturday for some reason, i would not say that i am happy because of what had excitingly happened, but i don't know, i think there's something in me that was satisfied so it took a rest and slept well. that's a good thinking for me, but i would not consider a certain situation made it satisfied or something, do you know what imean?

i have checked my email a while ago. tl sent us our AHT for the week or for the month, i'm not sure, but suprisingly i have or i am the agent with the top aht and fish, mwahahahahahah! a very unreasonable aht and tl indicated there that fws or oics that will not meet aht for the month will take in calls for the whole day, isn't that cutre? hopefully he would have to take in calls whole day, because he's so unfair. yeah pretty much intimidated and insecure about him.

well anyway, i ahve managed to apply for as an RTA, good thing that 3 agents were the only ones who had applied for that position, me, ferdie and jayjay. both of them are already under training so i'm not expecting that i'll be hired but at least, if ever they need a replacementas a trainee, then i guess i'll be chosen, hopefully. i once heard from a little bird that they'll be absobing 3 rta's possibly. hopefully 3 of us will be absorbed, mwahahahahahahha! i'm still hoping that i won't have to take an exam but i'm not expecting that not to happen. ferdie said that there will be no exam, just an interview. hmmmmm, unusual.

i just hate it everytime i see fish. i'm trying to be nonchalant but i feel like they know what's in my head, so i feel it's pretty obvious. he actually asked me how i was yesterday when i was doing fw, i replied to him nicely and i even smiled, i hope that's not fake, but i just can't erase it from my head that he's plastic in what he did last time i emailed that prick! moving on, hopefully he would freaking get out of my sight. i'm on my hands and knees ahout on to the heavens on high, that i will be an RTA in this company ASAP. mwahahahahahahha!

well what i'm doing now is i'm downloading some skins for my os, just to have new look and to make myself somehow, cool. well as of the moment i'm waiting for a call and it seems like it's not queueing and i like it.

gooooooooooooooooooooood news man, i received an email from tl and it's all about the floorwalking schedule for next week. fish will take calls for the whole day and i will be the floor walker on wednesday and sunday, yipee. belat! now he's on karma. now i will monitor him in case i became the floorwalker for the day he is taking in calls and monitor his calls all the time to check and see if ever he is cheating and all. now i have the chance to get back on him. well he desreve it anyway because he's an asshole and the biddest prick ever. o well i just can't wait to see his face when taking in calls these weeks. mwahahahahahaha! good luck shit head!

well i was pulled out from my station because we had a meeting with the big bosses here about the management and stuff. so i took my lunch just now and i only have 13 mins and counting. anyway, ferdie's here and he's pretty busy and all. people here are pretty busy and i wonder what's the buzz about. well, i just have to wait for 2 hours just to get outta here and visit rex, yipeee. by the way i have submitted my letter of explanation through marco since i had a call. tl approached me and i am on a call. she's having a microstrategy training today. i don't know if i did something hideous again. o well, can't tell unless she would talk to me and tell me about it.

moving on, i keep seeing this prick head and i really hate it a lot. one thing for sure during the meeting, he was so refined, quiet and subtle. mwahahahahahahaha! a really big difference with that a-hole. i guess he does not have the guts to talk and all and to prick around. well i'm just so excited for tomorrow i mean the day after tomorrow.

anyway, i just read tl's email. i'm pretty nervous about the hardphone scandal and stuff. i don't know what it is all about. anyway it's almost the end of my shift so i guess i have to park my hands now. see you , perhaps on tuesday, i mean wednessday, hopefully i won't be late ever.

ciao!

too bad.....freak! (April 5, 2006)

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING! well i am excited, but not so excited as you can imagine. mainly because it's rex's b-day and , you kknow..... moving on, i don't know whether rex would inform me about that, too bad that i've ran out of load so i could not greet him. secondly, today's our regularization ekek and i don't know whether i will be regularized or something. hopefully i would be regularized and all and that good news would keep coming to me. last monday, when i came home, i informed my sister and my mom to pay the bills tomorrow because a lot of people are lined up there and i'm pretty tired. then a problem arised. my sister keeps on nagging and so it pissed me off because i just arrived and i feel so tired. so we had a fight and it led to a physical fight well of course i've heard a lot of words that degraded me and i am aware of that and i regret it. so after that, i was so dartn dejected. then we had a talk, me and my mom abdout things all and at least now she is aware about what i feel. it feel so good because at least i had burst out all the feelings i felt inside with my mom for the very first time and now i think that the relationship between me and mom will change and have changed.

the following day, april 4, it was my sister's bitrhtday so i did not manage to greet her when i saw her and stuff. my mom keep telling me to greet her. i wanted to greet her but i am so shy because of what i did wrong to her. and so far i have managed to greet her and talk to her and it felt so good. my mom was so happy for me because i'm the only one who is so obedient to her. i've invited my other sister to greet her but she keeps denying it because she had told me that our fight is different from their fight. but i don't find it reasonable.

anyway, i have managed to watch underworld and it's not that exciting but it's so cool. anyway, i'm back here at work and too bad that we were informed about our regularization. well it's not today and it's next month. i have expected that. it's only our 5th month in siemens so we have to wait til may 5. moving on, i am wondering if rex would message me or call me or invite me to his bday party. i don't want to jjust go there unless he asked me to, because it's gonna be awkward.

o well waiting for nothing for this day and i don't know whther if things will be fine and dandy and , what the fuck! a while ago i was excited now, i'm not and i'm worried about things. i don't know whether if i have to contact mom to ask for my load for me to text rex and see if i should come or not. i wanted to go there now and first of all i wanted to know it now! so annoying.

what else could be wrong here? all i really wanted was to have and hear something good to make me feel alive. is that to oo much to ask? no signs of rex yet no signs o something convincing.

well i had a coaching session with tl and fish and it went out fine and dandy. well i have managed to laugh with fish and all. no problems encountered and so i don't have anything to say about it. i just wanted to know whether rex will invite me for his bday today. i don't freaking know o well, let's just wait and see how it'll go. ciao!

Monday, April 03, 2006

yehey?

good morning. well i have a new schedule, it's 5am to 2 pm. well i wonedr what will this schedule bring. last friday, i did not go to work because i met precious at starbucks. she actually invited me then as long as we talked about things i have decided not to go to work. i made excuses to my tl and the humiliating part is, i have to stay at precious' house. it was humiliating because i left there around 7 am and her mom slept at their living room so i wa not able to stay down stairs. when i leave the house, i thought her mom is in deep sleep but eventually she woke up and so i'm pretty embarrassed.. when she woke up i greeted her but she did not even smile and felt like she's pissed off of me because why did i stay there and stuff. so i immediately left their house and began to hate myself because of that stupidity. anyway, at least i did have a great day. we talke dabout myself and i was enlightened a bit with what she said. she told me to face all the struggles in life that i am experiencing. i should be a risk taker and all. well right now as of this moment i am trying to be nonchalant about it. i am trying. later on i am planning to talk to precious, my tl to ask about what had happened last saturday and if they did have a great time. it's not being plastic as what my best friend had told me but it's a gesture of being nonchalant about all this stupid feeling that i hide against them. i really hope everything's gonna be fine. now i'm not going to assume things. i would just let things come, what may. i do believe it's healthy and it's a way to be a risk taker and also to have these plan of actions in life. i should always be happy and show them that i'm not sad or that i have problems and stuff. if fish can appriach me and all, i would do that too, for work. i still can't forget what he did usnig the email. but now i know and now i can adjust and know my boundaries. i have set my mind that there's no chance of making things good and clear. with that fish. it's not my lost, in this life being wise to take risk your reputation is never good. wise in a way that no one gets hurt and no one's humiliated, or even embarrassed.

i don't know what i will do now but i just need to show them that i don't have a problem and that i'm not implying bitter things unto them. so sad that as of now, i did not bring with me my lunch. i have to buy food. too bad. i have budgeted my money and yet i'm out of budget. o well, at least things will be better someday. I was able to go to church last sunday with my mom. i prayed and thanked god for everything. i also prayed about my life and that he ould forgive me with all the sins that i did. anyway, i also prayed about the status of my sister and father in tate. actually it was answered prior to yesterday. but i still thanked him and made me feel alright and meade me breathe more. one more problem is that wilma would report my sister to the authorities but once she did that, i will haunt and hunt her. hopefully everything could be just alright so we can live our lives happily.

anyway, last saturday when i came home i've told mom that i will go to rex's house and so i did. it was so good that i have downloaded mp3s again and talked about his goo experiences with his new found friends. i'm pretty much envious with that guy, at least he can manage to have new happenings in life, exploring new worlds, meeting new people and enlightening his life with happy thoughts and things.

guess what, i got a call and damn it. i processed something which is not possible for oow. i have tried to change the dop but it won't change it even thoug you create a new sr#. hopefully it will not be a kick back or else i'm dead. the sadder part with it is i am being monitored, my goodness, because tl tried to barge on my phone but she could not barge, so it means someone is barging me, darn it.i hope that call was not captured or else i'm awfully dead.anyway i am experiencing some difficulties with my phone and i hate it. good thing that there are 56 avails as what marco had told me.

speaking of marco, he talked tom e a while ago regarding his experience with the team during team building. it was the worst team building ever, he said. basically all they did was watch tv and slept. what he did with his 2 other colleagues, they took a swim rather just to enjoy it. then suddenly all of them or one by one just left the venue. i believe he's pissed off of it. he just put it ina way that there's no problem or he's not pissed off but i can barely feel it that he is. he also mentioned that he paid 200 bucks just to get there in that venue and the happenings sucks. well all i have to do is lie, i even told others that it's a bad thing that i wasnot able to come because of my stupid stomach pain, but basically it's because i hate to go to work last friday and to avoi going to that team building.

just what i have thouht. it willl not be enjoying at all and ti's a waste of money. one more thing is i have to withdraw money to pay for the entrance fee. i thought it will just be a night out. thankfully my best friend changed my mind.

i am also excited for now because my bestfriend will buy me 2 books using her card, but of course i would have to pay that. i will not allow her or even myself not to pay that. i still owe her 500 bucks and until now i haven't paid her. then a new one is coming. darn it. also i am excited because my sister bought 3 dvds and one of it is underworld. evolution. a pretty exciting and much awaited movie.

well it's so good to have this long avails. well i have to keep waiting for calls. the sad part with this one is no nd and pay will suck. anyway at least i have to rest my throat from talking during night shift. i wonder what will happen tomorrow here. well i should not mind, basically it's my off.

guess what after i took my lunch i went upstairs and approached tl. i talked with her about what had happened during the team building. and somehow we were able to establish good conversation and she was able to smile again and i know she thinks that we're ok and i can feel it that she is very happy that i was able to talk with her and be transparent about my floor walking and stats ekek. soooo good. at least i have broken the walls in between for the same time. eventually i was able to approach her because fish is taking a call and so ther's no disturbance and interruptions and spy as i may say.

after my conversation with her i went to the smoing room and met jp and talked with him and all then alevil arrived and so we we're able to talk about stuff back in first aid trainnig. good thing that i was able to talk to her again. by theway jp once told me that ron is already a trainer. wow good for him at least he's already a trainer and a good career growth for him. i am so happy for him. it won't change the way i feel because he's a prick also. mwahahahaha. so eventually i don't have to look for that person and all. everything's so nice. actually that's the birthday gift for him, it's gonna be his birthday this april 5th. how fortunate, isn't it. o well there's always room for me.

good thing that my qg3 is done and i passed. woohoo! sadly, there's 2nd phase for qg3. darn it i thought i could get away from those shits. anyway i still need to improve with my qg3 2nd phase so i can be somehow break free to do stuff that i wanted to do in this company. i hope that i would be a tl someday or a full time floor walker so i can experience the wellness and the wonderful times in not taking calls, mwahahahahaha!

first of all i wanted to thank god! at least he had given me good news for today. he really answers prayers immediately. imagine i just went to church yesterday and he made me feel new today. i wanted to ireterate to you that what i did to tl just now was not a sign of pretendness or being plastic. it's like i wanted to break free from this messed up feelings because things are getting worse and all. i have realized that it won't do me any good. but stiill if there's a team building again i won't be able to come or i'll never come because i have realized that fish is just fooling around with everything and he knows how to play his cards and i have noticed that tactics so now i know where to position myself and what tothink about that prick! as long as i can establish a good relationship with tl, that's fine. if ever this prick is transferred to another team, things will gradually change. well the reason is, i am scared to burst out with anger if that person just suddenly show somw arrogance and stuff towards me and so i won't have to experience problems with that shit head for me not to be able to sleep and breathe properly. i want peace of mind. the reason why i am isolating myself.


tangina! bakit ko naisip yun! kasi kakikita ko lang kay that person and he's wearing a formal attire the same with ferdie. and ijust realized both of them are already promoted and for the 3 of us ako pa lang ang hanggang gayon e agent pa rin. napaka pathetic di ba? shit i hate myself with an evil grin! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu! o well, good luck for me and hopefully, things will be freaking alright and dandy. shit na malagkit bakit ko naisip ang sadyang bagay. baka mamaya ma deject nanaman ako. bwisit ang bilis ng karma. i think god is telling me to do someting about it. i think he's making me realizewe that i should be more aware of things and not just sitting back and relaxing all these years. BWISIT! bwisit talaga ako, mamatay na ako sana. ......... hindi naman ako nalulungkot o nababad trip, parang nanlulumo lang ako sa nangyayari sa akin. well ganun talaga ang buhay. o well better luck next time.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! too bad blogspot was blocked in the office. mother fuckers! those inconsiderate bastards. o well i guess i have to post this at home. haaaaaaaaaaay! this is getting worse. on emore thing, ferdie informed me too that that person is promoted and told him if it's ok to talk to me, so he replied, naglilihi pa yun. it pissed me off. anyway i'm not after that person anyway. i don't care if that person would not talk to me for the rest of their lives. who cares!

so many changes yet there's no change within myself. too bad.